Question..

[mizzou7016]

Would like the groups opinion on why it is somewhat easier for a person to help others while battling....or in what used to my way of avoiding helping myself

[Vonus5591]

It’s the deep down thoughts. The unconscious and conscious thoughts affecting us. Some we can handle and others we do not and need the help of professional. Try digging why and keep asking yourself questions until you feel you get to your innermost thoughts

[Agora1]

I think it all boils down to stepping back for the moment and not being presently

focused on yourself. In helping others, we do in reality help ourselves. xx

[BrainIsFull in reply to Agora1]

That I actually an item Ona list of grounding techniques that I have. To help someone or respond in a forum like this, for instance. It usually helps me but there are times when I cannot help anyone else. Then I need to find a different grounding technique in that moment.

[Agora1 in reply to BrainIsFull]

BrainIsFull, your username says it all. It is all about taking care of ourselves first

before we can extend ourselves to others. It's not that we don't want to but are unable

to at the moment. That's okay. Since we can't be 100% all the time, it's best to know

when to step back and regenerate. This is the time when it's best to research help for

yourself as well as take the experiences written by others on this forum. Digest it.

Some may be helpful, some not.

Also learn to fill your "toolbox" with multiple methods that can help you.

The whole idea when struggling with Anxiety is to have a multitude of methods.

One that will help you by stopping anxiety before it tends to grow. This can be done

with Meditation & Breathing exercises. YouTube has many professionals on video

that can advise and suggest. Keep an open mind in what you hear and delete the rest

that doesn't apply to you. After a while you can pick and choose in what works for

you and you alone. Then you can reach out to others xx

[mizzou7016 in reply to Agora1]

Exactly. I'm not saying to quit helping others..wouldn't be where I'm at without helping others..but I've also learned in the last 3 years that I need to help myself with the same...if not more compassion that I put in to helping others

[mizzou7016 in reply to BrainIsFull]

But do you put in the same effort to 'practice what you're preaching to someone else...

[mizzou7016 in reply to Agora1]

It's been my experience...and this is just solely me...although I've gotten better about it 100 fold..I've always buried my emotions to help someone else...and although it feels good...your problems don't go away and you're not working to make your situations better..

[Agora1 in reply to mizzou7016]

So true, so true mizzou, in that only we can help ourselves.

We can give all the advice in the world to others, but unless they take

those words and put action behind them, they will stay stuck.

Knowing that we did our best in trying to help others may bring a quick

satisfaction to ourselves. This however does not resolve our own emotional

problems. It must be addressed by us. :)xx

[cashew78]

...sadly I think it was beaten into some of us, either physically or mentally, to always think about others first because they may have somehow forced the notion that it's automatically selfish, egocentric, or even narcissistic to think about your own needs at all 😓

[mizzou7016 in reply to cashew78]

And that is one of the biggest myths...We have to remember that it's ok to not be ok and it's even better to ask for help