Question

I've been having off and on anxiety, and last night at work, it was pretty bad again. (its been this way for almost a year now, so that's nothing new, its just starting to get worse with working in a store, I've been working at a store for 2 almost 3 months now). I started my shift pretty anxious, on guard and hypervigilant, then as time went on, I just felt a bit angry and I don't know why. I know getting angry easily is part of PTSD but I don't know what caused that. Maybe it was because I had to tell a little kid (maybe 3rd or 4th grade age) to back up because she was too close to me, and she did it twice, and I was already on guard but having that little kid on my 6 just made me more on guard. Then after those two customers left (the little girl and mother), I had another costumer in my line, and then my coworker surprised me on my 6 by accident, scared the absolute heck out of me, then she tried to touch me (just to say sorry) which made me flip out even more, and in that split second that anger turned to anxiety, but I sill tried to continue scanning items, but then something on my 6 slammed and I freaked out even more, so I had to call my manager over, tell told him I needed to walk around because I was getting too anxious, he let me walk around. Then once I came back, I had to tell another coworker not to come up on my 6, which made me anxious again. I was wondering, is random anger part of PTSD? I know getting angry easily is, but this is the first time I felt like I just had random anger.

[blackcat64013]

Hi 👋,

Thank you for your post.

It's okay to have anxiety which comes in all sorts of ways to people.

When anxiety affects our ability to function in our life e.g. at work, it is time to take some therapy.

If you are an employee, your employer might have an employee assistance program (EAP) which allows you to access some free confidential counselling sessions.

As a younger person, you might not have spoken to a mental health clinician before and worried about this. I can assure you the person is trained to help & understands your concerns.

Our mental health is part of our overall wellbeing and may affect us physically if not treated. Start by talking to your primary care provider who can help or refer you to a local clinician.

Wishing you all the best from Australia 🦘

[OtOFrance]

Hi Checko19,

I am pretty sure that knowing and feeling what you feel is a great luch. You are a human, not only a machine or a robot, and you have feelings and sensations, this is wonderful.

Now, what situation or event make you the most - or the less - anxious ?

Take care

O

[Hidden in reply to OtOFrance]

It really depends on how anxious I am already. If I'm already anxious, I'll go off at just about anything.

[OtOFrance in reply to Hidden]

why not try a "anxious" agenda where you may write down all those triggers ?

[Hidden in reply to OtOFrance]

I might try that.

[Lazy_dog_lover]

Sorry to hear that working is so triggering for you. You said that you don’t know where the PTSD is from? That would be a big benefit to find out. Do you keep a journal? If you do, try to vary the type of posts that you do. Reflection of your past, current triggers, and things you are grateful for.

The first two would be very helpful when going to psychotherapy. The gratitudes help to rewire the anxiety, especially if you write them just before bed.

In the mean time, talk to the manager and brainstorm a way to tactfully let your team members know that you startle easliy or you are uncomfortable when people approach behind you. Give them an alternative, though. If they say, “Going right behind you”, would it help?

Many people do not like to get touched. You may want to try desensitization strategies for this. It is really hard never to get touched in public. You will most likely need to work on your reaction, which, in the big picture is the only thing in your control.

Best wishes.

[Hidden in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

I know where the PTSD is from, got it while I was serving my community in the fire department.

I usually let my managers know that I'm having a hard time before shift. I'll tell them something along the lines of "I just clocked in, and just to let you know, I'm having a hard time with my PTSD and anxiety today" and they'll say "ok, if you need help, put that light on and push that buzzer so we know that you need you need help and we'll come over and help you, or if you really need help, just come over to the customer service desk." One of my coworkers, sometimes (if he remembers) he'll tell me "going behind you." Sometimes if I'm able to, I'll have one of them watch my 6 if I have to take a knee to get extra bags out.

Yesterday was one of my worst days, I reacted so bad, they wanted to send me home. Even my coworker was hesitant to approach me, but once I told him, I called a help line, he told me "this is the worst I've seen you"

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to Hidden]

I would work on the PTSD in therapy. It is not something to recover from independently.

It is good that your managers have a way for you to signal. The goal will be becoming less reactive. Before even going to work, do you have a routine, a meditation, a relaxation strategy with a positive reassuring mantra? Doing these on good and bad days will help prepare you for the unknown.

[Hidden in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

Those lights are used to let them know that help is needed in general, but it is good that they do that. I just walk around, its the only thing that helps me really. I can't do meditation, I can't relax, been that way for 9 months.

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to Hidden]

Do you ever just sit and stare off into space? That is a form of meditation. There are many types of meditation, few match the stereotypical type we see on tv. 3 minutes, breathe in for 4 count, hold for 2, exhale for a 5 count. Don’t control thoughts. Just count. Set a timer.