well here IAM… : back at it with... - Anxiety and Depre...

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well here IAM…

Mindfulnessxo profile image
44 Replies

back at it with anxiety and sudden Panic attack symptoms! I was at a restaurant with my family I was eating and suddenly this IMPENDING DOOM feeling came over me! I thought I was gonna blackout! It scared me so bad I ended up with racing heart I felt it in my neck! And Hot Flash in my back. I was doing good the past weeks and now it’s all coming back, the terror of life and if I’m real or not. If anything is real around me. This is Not a life worth living! IAM a very religious person and I have faith! But Jesus this is the worst feeling I have ever been feeling since my 16 yrs of being a PTSD and Panic Disorder survivor. I’m still surviving this with medication but it seems to get worse the older I get. I want to cry I want to lay in a ball and not wake up. This is horrible.

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Mindfulnessxo
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44 Replies
BlueAgave profile image
BlueAgave

It's the worst feeling ever! I can relate to this so much. Of course, I usually don't make it into the restaurant before my attack comes on. I'm terribly sorry you're going through this. It's so difficult to deal with, I've had panic and anxiety since my childhood, did well for a while as an adult, but last year it came back and is just coming and going, but not staying away. I have to say that therapy has helped me, although I'm still a work in progress after a year and a half. I can't live without my medications either. All I can offer is you're not alone and just take one day at a time. Hope you can rest and be at peace. 💕

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply toBlueAgave

thank you for your kindness 🥹 I wish one day we all find peace from this.

BlueAgave profile image
BlueAgave in reply toMindfulnessxo

We will ❤️

Excludite profile image
Excludite

I’m so sorry. Panic attacks are the worst. I too can’t get a break. They’re persistent. Constant fear of life. I hope you find comfort here.

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply toExcludite

Thank you ❤️ I actually do I was writing that when I was in the midst of panic!

peacefulandcalm profile image
peacefulandcalm

hi, me too. I am so sorry we have to go through this over and over.

'the terror of life and if I am real or not' Happens all the time to me. I am told it is dissociation over and over.

de personalization is when we don't feel connected to a self, and de realization is when the world seems unreal, maybe we feel out of our bodies in these.

I know it is scary, very. We don't want to feel this anymore and it is here still.

meds help some and some grounding techniques. talking to a friend, calling a hotline. being in nature. eating something tasty.

it does end at some point, it just goes on too much.

does it end for you? what helps it for you? it can last hours or a day or days or weeks for me.

learning more about it helps a bit.

I know if we can do therapy, this is key....I am not ready yet, not stable enough....

I am dissociated as I write this....I get it so much, we will hang in here moment by moment, day by day, it will pass at some point <3

Excludite profile image
Excludite in reply topeacefulandcalm

Will it? This is the worst I’ve been. No therapist or friends. I’m only here for now.

peacefulandcalm profile image
peacefulandcalm in reply toExcludite

yes, I believe it will. has it always passed in the past? even if it is the worst, it will pass. My mom and therapist and hotline people all remind me, you got through it before, you will get through it again.

write here.....there is also a dissociation group, if you want link, I can find it.

I have a number of hotline I call in us, don't know if you are in us?

if you are, it is 415 781 0500, they seem to understand dissociation and cptsd well.....

it will pass eventually. soothe your central nervous system, shower, tea, meds, stand in dirt, get under covers, cry....do what has worked in past to get you through....

it will pass....for both of us.....xx

Excludite profile image
Excludite in reply topeacefulandcalm

I am in the US. Thank you.

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply topeacefulandcalm

I do remember that Dr. Claire Weeks in her book, Hope & Help for your Nerves, writes about this feeling of feeling unreal. I can't remember her exact words, but when we are in, or still sensitized, we may be more introspective, inward thoughts --may bring about a feeling of being outside ourselves, or disconnected --she says "don't be bluffed by feelings," again, "face, accept, float, let time pass." This is all part of the anxiety state, and if we can accept that this is "only" a feeling, and not "panic" because we have this feeling that it will pass. I like that Dr. Weekes didn't separate, or put labels on people with bad nerves, or nervous illness --she didn't say this is, for instance "OCD," or GAD, or PTSD -(actually, these diagnoses are used for primarily insurance purposes)! Anyway, Feelings of being "unreal," are part of the Anxiety, and or Depression. I hope that you will read Hope & Help for your Nerves --One of the Best books I have ever read & so revelavent today, as well!

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply toWeatherwoman

Hi

Could you elaborate more on what you mean by a certain diagnosis being used for insurance proposes?

🐬

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply toDolphin14

Okay, regarding DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). This is the "Bible" physicians in the mental health use to diagnose their patients. Each diagnose is covered by insurance (be it private, or government) & in that way the insurance company can decide what is covered, or what is not. With these diag., the therapist can decide what meds. to use for each condition. Again, the insurance companies either cover the medication, or not & decide how much.

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply toWeatherwoman

I am just "speaking" for myself here, but I don't like Labels --that's me, other people may not mind. I am a Person, a human being & Not a diag. label that sticks & overlooks the Human! Yes, I am a Very anxious person, but a Person first!

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply toWeatherwoman

Thank you for clarifying that for me.

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply toDolphin14

Welcome!

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply toWeatherwoman

Yes, every diagnosis has an ICD code for billing purposes be it medical or mental health.

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply toDolphin14

Yes!

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply toWeatherwoman

I’m so ready to buy her book! I se it on Amazon’

Weatherwoman profile image
Weatherwoman in reply toMindfulnessxo

You will find her book not only helpful, but soothing. It's like she is sitting right next to you & Knows every nuance of what it feels like to have Anxiety, Depression -to live with what we have! Her method, like most, needs practice. It's not easy, but it is duable --no matter how long you have suffered!

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply topeacefulandcalm

I’m so sorry we All have to live with this! I can relate to yours so much! De personalization and De Realization is the two most annoying ones I get! I’ve been told to see a therapist but I too am not ready or Don’t know how to approach one. ☹️

peacefulandcalm profile image
peacefulandcalm in reply toMindfulnessxo

yes, I hope we can get to a therapist sometime and get some help, I am sorry we have them, they are strange and well, you know....hugs..xx I am having dissociation now, going to take a shower, be good to ourselves..love your name and photo on here too...xx

Agora1 profile image
Agora1

Mindfulnessxo, And there I was many times in the past. Why would a restaurant

cause a panic? I always needed answers in order to conquer the problem. First it

was the big box stores and then the restaurants. What did they have similar?

Then I realized, the open spaces, people all around and once again the ceiling

lighting. Possibly flickering w/o realizing it and yet sensitive to it. The sounds of

people talking softly but not enough for you to hear what they are saying. Just a

blur of noise. The occasional clanging of dishes and silverware. Too much stimulation

to are already over sensitized mind and BAM our body sends out a signal of distress.

I found something that may help (and no it's not avoiding restaurants) When going

out to eat, make sure you either get a booth and slide in first. It will give you that

protected feeling behind you and to the side of you. OR...if gathering with a larger

family and you are given a table, choose the table that is against the wall. Sitting

with the wall behind you and looking out at others will give you some control over

the situation.

Now this isn't a forever thing. Just a way to settle down w/o avoiding the situation.

Something small but hopefully something that may help you. It's okay, you are not

the only one. :) xx

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply toAgora1

Thank you Agora ! I indeed slid in first hahaha! It made me feel safe as soon as I felt panic I told my husband to hold my hand (that’s are usual go to during a panic) and I felt safe and it went away for a few minutes later. My kids made me feel am safe too I was repeatedly telling myself get it together for your kids.

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply toMindfulnessxo

You did very well Mindfulnessxo...I'm proud of you

One day this will all be a thing of the past.

Meanwhile, enjoy your meal when taken out. :) xx

Electricblues profile image
Electricblues in reply toAgora1

Thank you Agora1 for your sharing your personal experience including identifying subtle triggers one may not realize exist, such as the flickering ceiling lights in commercial buildings. They definitely can contribute to reaching too much stimulation. I have been away from healthunlocked and recently had to change my moniker in order to participate in this venue. I was happy to see a recent comment from a wise familiar friend🤠🤠🤠

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply toElectricblues

Welcome back to Health Unlocked.

Would you mind sharing your former user name? Many of us here will remember you

🐬

Electricblues profile image
Electricblues in reply toDolphin14

Thank you. Not certain if I am suppose to do that. Nothing mysterious. Just forgot my password.

MadBunny profile image
MadBunny in reply toElectricblues

There's nothing in the rules to say you can't. I thought you'd said you changed your email address ?

Electricblues profile image
Electricblues in reply toMadBunny

😁My email address also changed but it was not remembering my old password that required me to basically rejoin with a new user name as the old name is still in the system and I couldn’t access that account. The method of receiving something in my email to change the password didn't work for me. As I am afraid of what I don't know, I tend to not to do some things when rules don’t address the matter clearly, That’s why I am not disclosing my old moniker.

MadBunny profile image
MadBunny in reply toElectricblues

Ah. I must have got confused as you didn't mention anything about passwords in your biog

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14 in reply toElectricblues

Sorry

Agora1 profile image
Agora1 in reply toElectricblues

Hi Electricblues, good to see you back my friend :) xx

Electricblues profile image
Electricblues in reply toAgora1

Thank you. Happy to be back. 🤗

Lilacdreams profile image
Lilacdreams

I am so sorry you are going through this. I also struggle with anxiety and panic disorder - as long as I can remember. Mine also worsened with age when I was supposed to be in “my prime.”

The pain and frustration from the panic attacks is somehow worse than the panic attacks themselves. I know your pain, and it’s one I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

My medication didn’t work and actually made it worse the first few months. I’m on 1/4 dose of what I should take, but it makes me too sick to increase the dosage.

I’ve learned that my panic disorder comes in waves. Some days it’s better, some it’s worse. I expect the worst and tell myself - it’s OKAY to have a panic attack. If you haven’t told your family, I would highly recommend telling them. I have a small circle, but they all know about my panic disorder and don’t judge me if I need to leave an outing.

Start going out in small outings and close to home, that way you know you can escape and find a safe space if needed. If you can even leave to pick up a coffee, great! Don’t pressure yourself. Understand that this real and that it’s okay to feel the panic. Let it flow over you. Don’t let it consume you. Over time, it will get easier. It doesn’t always disappear, but you will get stronger. I believe in you!

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply toLilacdreams

YES! My close family members know since the day I was diagnosed. I have a small circle in fact my youngest sibling also has the same diagnosis as me so we call each other all the time! My attacks come in waves as well. Some months I’m good the. Other months that wave of on and off panic come it’s so strange to me.

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply toLilacdreams

but thank you so much for your words! It will get better for the both of us ❤️

I am SO SORRY to hear this. I've been in that same situation and it sucks. I am a Believer too and I don't understand why Jesus allows this. Is my faith not strong enough? Am I not "doing it right?" My dr changed my meds last week and I've been having sweats and heart palpitations and feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I wish we could get together and give each other a hug. Sending you a virtual hug!

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply to

huggggs xox! Wishing the best for us both ❤️

punkster profile image
punkster

I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't have panic attacks, but my anxiety has worsened with age. It sucks! Maybe you need the dosage adjusted on your medication. I am convinced that brain chemistry changes as you age.

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply topunkster

Yes indeed . Just got my meds adjusted 2 days ago by my psychiatrist. It sucks For all of us

Pitalife profile image
Pitalife

Wow,it's as if I had written this,I too suffer w high anxiety n bad depression, I get those damn panic attacks,when I'm in public places and when I'm alone,feel as if I'm gonna die,can't breathe normally,tight chest and racing heart and thoughts, I sure hope you can find some help,I been experiencing these damn terror fear panic attacks since I'm a xhild,it disrupted my schooling and social life has been nilly my whole life from anxiety and depression....much hope for you to find correct way to cope w these panic anxiety attacks...

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply toPitalife

as for you! You’re not alone! Ever feel like you’re going through a panic feel free to message me if like some online friends ☺️

Astro_potato profile image
Astro_potato

I also experience panic attacks out of the blue. They do not have a 'trigger' they just hit me. I went to the ER twice earlier this year because I thought I was truly dying. To make matters worse, the doctors and staff didn't treat me very well once they determined I was not actually dying, I just 'felt like I was dying'. It was humiliating and degrading. I'm sorry for anyone who has panic attacks, I wouldn't wish one on my worst enemy.

I also wanted to let you know, I can't feel my hands for some reason when I have a panic attack. It sounds crazy, I know, but I totally feel like I don't have hands, and it freaks me out even worse. I don't know if it's a form of dissociation or what. Anyway, you're not alone.

Mindfulnessxo profile image
Mindfulnessxo in reply toAstro_potato

I usually feel like I’m being pulled away from stuff around me it’s weird how the brain works. I sometimes can’t feel my fingers. When I’m in Full blown De Personalization. It’s truly scary!

Yes the darn ER! they always take me as a joke when I walk in. So I stopped going because they tell me the same crap over and over. So no point anymore, my fear is next time I’ll be thrown in the psych ward😭

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