Feeling bizzare again

[Danzdanz123]

Hello in my previous post i mentioned that I was away from home. I did have a good weekend however it was a crippling weekend of anxiety and panic and just this horrible feeling of i couldn’t take living my life and just wanted to curl up in a ball it felt like my first breakdown again. On the day I was travelling home I had continuous and extreme panic attacks to the point where the ground felt uneven and I felt like I was going to faint and it felt like my heart was going to explode. Even on the weekend before I went home the tension was all in my neck and when I spoke to people it was like as if it spasmed it’s really hard to explain because it’s such a weird sensation. But I’m really tired and sick of it! anytime I try to do something with my life it’s accompanied with this it’s like when I actually go out and do something other than being at home it feels like I won’t make it back home because I’ll die somehow? It’s like my brain has trained myself to believe that I’m not allowed to live my life because I’ll die it’s even got to the point now where it feels like everything I did before didn’t happen because it possibly couldn’t that I can’t actually have a happy and calm life. Now I’m home and no longer in a rage of panic I think my brains tricked it’s self to believe that I shouldn’t have made it home fit and well. And now I’m just thinking I’m insane. There’s so much more I could explain and say but I think it would just turn into a whole book. I’m not sure what to do I really don’t want to go back to square one

[FearIsALiar]

I have felt this way too! It is so scary but it passes!

[Danzdanz123 in reply to FearIsALiar]

Thank you how did you pull through?

[Hidden]

Hi I hope you are feeling better. Anxiety can ruin the best experiences. But I want to say good for you for making it out of the house and enjoying your weekend! At least I hope you enjoyed it. It is really great that you continue to take steps, like planning trips and actually going. That is exactly how to "rewire" your brain to accept that no, you don't have to live in fear of death. Maybe you can now reward yourself for making it through the weekend. Give yourself some "you time," do yoga, take a hot bath, eat chocolate, etc.

One of these days I will go on a trip again too. Right now I am taking a break from travelling because the last two times I left home were like nightmares due to changes in my health and mental health. I don't really want to think about traveling again, it was so disturbing.

[Danzdanz123 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you I guess it is all the way you look at it!! It’s like having a good time but a really awful time at the same time but just pushing myself into this situations hoping they will make me better and not worse!

Oh really I feel like I can empathise with the disturbing feeling. I mean it’s up to you if you would like to travel or not because some people without anxiety and panic don’t want to travel because it’s not in their interests however for someone who wants to travel and get out there but their anxiety and panic limits them is awful do you want to travel? If you like travelling take your break but don’t make that break last too long I guess we need to face our fears to overcome them! Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Danzdanz123]

That's exactly right, we have to face our fears. Yes I enjoy traveling, and I would love to see more of the U.S. I went to Arizona by myself in 2019 and that was a good trip. But more recently the trips were to go see family, and unfortunately my family freaks me out. So maybe I am more taking a break from my family than from traveling! I guess we just have to keep pushing through the anxiety and not let it hold us back.

[Danzdanz123 in reply to Hidden]

It’s just that constant reassurance that’s gives us that tiny bit of relief it’s actually unbelievable how much you can believe your own fears that seem ridiculous from an outside perspective! Certain people freak me out too so I understand that! Sometimes when I haven’t got anything to worry about I will start freaking out about the most bizzare and silly things like the other day my brain started obsessing over the fact that we all live in houses and the world is just filled with houses that people live in and after I stopped freaking out I started to freak out about the fact I freaked out over those thoughts I wish there was a pill we could take that would rid us of anxiety for life!

[Hidden in reply to Danzdanz123]

Why, oh why, didn't I take the blue pill?

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Sorry I am a Matrix fan!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Yeah it's crazy how much stress we can inflict on ourselves just by worrying about stuff. In my thoughts I tend to create unlikely scenarios where people are rude or unfeeling toward me. Then I feel bad for myself and get stuck in a pity party. Why would I fantasize about unpleasant situations? Guess it's a habit now. My brain needs to be rewired.

[Danzdanz123 in reply to Hidden]

Definitely rewired it’s like once your brain unlocks something it’s hard to Unsee it again. I think we both need a rewire and definitely to be grounded abit more! If people would ever be rude to you just think there’s a lot of humans on this planet not every single one of them will be rude to you just find the non rude ones 😂 easier said than done but that’s from an outside perspective!!

[Danzdanz123 in reply to Hidden]

I need to watch this again haven’t seen it for years not sure if it will help with keeping me grounded though 😂😂

[Danzdanz123 in reply to Hidden]

I’ll take any pill that says anxiety free on it!

[Hidden in reply to Danzdanz123]

😊