Does this sound like Anxiety and Depression?

[Groundhog_Truman]

Sorry for the long post, I really need some guidance please.

I have no prior issues with mental health, and have always been very resilient. I can be hard on myself and negative at times, but never to the extent of depression. Since July last year I feel like I’ve been coasting at work when I’m normally pretty driven as a result of being unsuccessful in a promoted position twice. I got married at the end be of the year and I’ve felt really lost and sad that it’s over. I also got very unwell (headaches, sickness, fever and joint pain) on my honeymoon in Asia.

At the start of the year I had a sleepless night. Then the next night I worried I wouldn’t sleep again and guess what! I didn’t sleep. I got myself in to an anxious state and my sleep issues persisted for a month or two. I was prescribed low dosage sleeping tablets for a while and eventually I was able to sort out my sleep cycle by practicing sleep restriction. During these months I also had feelings of depression/hopelessness that I wouldn’t get any better.

Despite my sleep issues resolving I’ve been left with some really horrific mental issues that I find really hard to describe. I constantly feel like my head is full of liquid and that my thoughts/emotions are a whirlpool. If I try to think too hard or put focus on something it feels like I’m going to lose mental function/have a seizure (this has never actually happened). I find it really difficult to look at screens, they make me feel sick and dizzy. I can be a quite shaky and lethargic and need to lie down constantly. I’ve even started to feel overwhelmed going out to dinner or going in to the office.

I also get really dark feelings, like everything is mundane and boring. It feels like an existential crisis and that I don’t have control of my mind and a fear that I’m not going to be here for much longer.

The thing is, everything in my life is great - my home life, friends, hobbies (I’m very active and love gaming). I love my routine and I have absolutely no idea where all of this is coming from, I just want to live my life as normal.

I’m currently seeing a therapist who has taught me mindfulness and tapping techniques. I don’t find these work because I’m not triggered by anything in particular and they don’t stop my head from swimming/spinning. I’m finding it hard to talk to her about how I’m feeling because I genuinely don’t have any trauma or events that are making me unhappy/unwell, I’ve no ideas where it is coming from!

I gave in eventually and got medication from my doctor (Prozac/fluoxetine 20mg) which I have been taking for 5 weeks. During this time I had a worsening of the head symptoms I described above. I also had a period of extreme dizziness/faintness which was so awful I went to the hospital. All my blood, urine and vitals came back fine and even a CT scan didn’t show anything abnormal.

I’m really at a loss trying to understand what is afflicting me - I’ve assumed it is anxiety and depression but because there are no triggers for it I’m worried that there might be something else wrong with me that is undiagnosed. I’m not sure if what I’m experiencing is a normal side effect of the medication or if I actually don’t have anxiety?

The thing is I don’t know who else to talk to about these issues and what further tests they could possibly do? I’m getting to a point where I feel like I’m losing my grip on sanity and I’m terrified I’m going to lose everything I love in life.

If you have a similar experience or any idea of what might be causing this/what kind of professional could help me I would be so appreciative. I feel so alone and scared.

[BlueAgave]

I'm so sorry you're having many unexplained symptoms. Many do sound like anxiety and depression, but I'm very curious: Did you tell your doctors about the illness you had while on your honeymoon in Asia? If not, maybe you can bring that up.

[Groundhog_Truman in reply to BlueAgave]

Thanks for your reply 🙂. Yes I mentioned it in the hospital and nothing showed up in my tests. I probably should have seen a doctor when I came back from holiday but stupidly didn’t. I too am afraid it might be repercussions of the illness but I’m not sure how else to pursue it.

[BlueAgave in reply to Groundhog_Truman]

It's difficult when doctors don't know what tests to run. I have a friend who, after searching and different treatments, finally found out it was Lyme disease from a tick bite that caused her so much trouble. Maybe revisit those symtoms with your doctor and ask questions. Definitely do some research into different viruses. I don't know where you went in Asia, but there are a lot of mosquito spread viruses. It's a shot in the dark, and it may just be anxiety. Don't give up, either way you can get through these hard times.

[Groundhog_Truman in reply to BlueAgave]

I’m thinking it may be related to mosquitos as I was covered in bites. Had all my recommended vaccinations before I went. They tested me for dengue and apparently came back negative but could have been another tropical disease. I’m not sure if it will show up in test results this far on ☹️

[BlueAgave in reply to Groundhog_Truman]

Absolutely could be anything. Like MadBunny asked, have you had esr/crp levels checked? These can show if you have inflammation in your body. Might be worth asking about it. There are a lot of vector borne illnesses that don't have vaccines. Hope you can find out something.

[MadBunny]

Obviously we can't give medical advice, but did they test your esr/ crp levels?

[Groundhog_Truman in reply to MadBunny]

I’m not sure if these were tested specifically, GP and hospital doctors tested my blood and said nothing out of the ordinary was showing.

[MadBunny in reply to Groundhog_Truman]

If you are in the UK, info on tests should be on your records , both GP and NHS app.I agree with Blue Agave, I would go back to the doctor.

Also - the problem looking at screens- has anyone suggested having an eye test ?

[Dolphin14]

Is your Dr planning on running any more tests?

🐬

[Groundhog_Truman in reply to Dolphin14]

I’m supposed to be on a waiting list for an MRI but I’m not sure if that will show anything either. I asked my GP for a second opinion from an infectious/exotic disease specialist, I’m waiting to see if they will refer me on

[Dolphin14 in reply to Groundhog_Truman]

Maybe it's just an adjustment phase with your meds? Who prescribed these meds? Have you had a discussion with this doctor?

You also mention tapping. I'm confused when you say it doesn't work because you aren't triggered. If you are having any sort of anxiety you should try practicing tapping along with some deep breathing techniques

[BlueAgave in reply to Groundhog_Truman]

I hope they do. MRI can show so much more than a CT can. Thinking about you and hope you find answers.

[Zhangliqun]

I'm no doctor but I am a patient -- that's clinical depression all right. Next step is to find the cause so you can find the right treatment.

[Groundhog_Truman in reply to Zhangliqun]

Thanks for your reply. Does the swimming head/dizziness and inability to focus on anything come with the depression do you think? Or does this sound more aligned to anxiety?

[Zhangliqun in reply to Groundhog_Truman]

If you're actually physically dizzy, there is some other physical cause. It can also come from sleep deprivation.