Hi, I’m wondering if I will forever be depressed and anxious. It’s been a few years of dealing with this severe depression/anxiety and it’s the worst it’s ever been and the longest duration of time feeling bad. Is this how my life will be forever? Will I ever feel “normal”? From an outsiders look in to my life I have a great life but I can’t shake this depression and anxiety. I come up with all these things to make myself feel better but I never follow thru..... start taking vitamins- I have the vitamins but I don’t take them, take the dog for a walk- nope, can’t leave the house, cook healthy food-nope, clean my house- nope, work hard at my job-nope.... I have no motivation to do anything... Sorry for the rant, I’m just beginning to think this is how my life will be forever....I’m 49 and miserable.
Does Depression/Anxiety Ever Go Away - Anxiety and Depre...
Anxiety and Depression Support
Oh it's tough having depression and anxiety. I believe all we can do is keep trying. Keep going and try to notice the moments where it isn't entirely terrible.
It sounds like you are working on building good habits that may be helpful in the long run. Keep doing that. Doing something is better than nothing. Even small. Recreate yourself that way.
I feel the same exact way. Will it ever end?
Does it ever go away? Maybe. Who knows - they may come up with something in the future. It's possible.
Yes. Read Essential Help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes and practice what she preaches.
Hi, Beevee, do u have any suggestions for books on depression? I’ve always had anxiety but I think depression is possibly my main problem right now.
Essential Help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes. The title may differ outside the U.K. depression can be a by product of fighting anxiety all the time. I also visited a website called anxietynomore.co.uk which was created by Paul David which also helped me a lot in terms of understanding anxiety and what acceptance actually meant. Check out his blog too which has lots of comments from others in the same boat as you and from those who have also recovered.
Of course you can recover from both anxiety and the kind of depression which is a response to having anxiety. But there is no magic formula of the wand waving variety. No newly discovered vitamin that will make it go away.
Right now, your nervous system has become over sensitised by stress. Eventually the original cause can be forgotten, the anxiety itself becomes the stress that keeps your nerves over sensitive.
You're probably doing everything in your power to fight the bad feeling. Trouble is, fighting only creates more stress and tension. So instead of fighting you should do nothing. Don't follow up by adding second fear to first fear: stop pumping more adrenalin into your system whenever anxiety rears its ugly heady.
The object is to give your nerves a break and allow them to lose their over sensitivity.
So stop frightening yourself half to death every time a bad feeling comes. Just accept everything your shattered nerves throw at you without responding and you've taken the first step to recovery.
Recovery will come when you stop wanting your GAD and OCD to magically disappear.
Stigma or no stigma, recovery is entirely possible. I am proof. In fact, your mind and body is waiting to recover and the natural healing process will begin when you learn to accept the symptoms instead of fighting to get of them. It is the fighting that keeps sufferers stuck in the cycle. ♥️
I’ve had both my whole life and have known nothing else. Anxiety I have never gotten to go away, it’s lessened but never vanished. Depression I think I have completely under control, by completely I mean 90% because there are weak days. It’s all a mental game of chess.
Tolongtoenter, If you check my profile you will see a poem I wrote
called "I Think I Can" written by me during the time I was Agoraphobic.
A line from there "But Life is like a game of chess, not always knowing
what move is best.
By chance, by choice, by fate or will.
The joys of life can be fulfilled"
And here I am today passing my success forward xx
I kinda tend to think the brain reacts against certain emotions by trying to “think” it’s way out. But emotions and thoughts are really very different.
That’s what anxious thoughts would have you believe. I thought I’d never recover too but learnt to accept all that negativity and let it go. It’s just energy being released in the form of anxious thoughts and feelings and the mind and body healing but sufferers get caught up in it all and just add more stress and fear to the symptoms so it never stops. Acceptance breaks that cycle.
It's not going to just go away. It could get worse. I know that's not what you want to hear but that's reality. Something is causing it whether its biological or psychological. You have to find the source of it and bring things back into a balance. The number one thing I would start with knowing what I know now is food. You could be eating something everyday that is causing inflammation in your body and throwing it completely out of whack.
Food is not the cause of your anxiety. It will go away when you discover the method that leads to recovery for everyone prepared to embrace it. What is that? Read the postings on this thread. I say: read the postings on this thread specially those by Beevee.
Recovery requires your imput and this is more than taking a vitamin tablet or some special food supplement every day. Seek and you will find.
Food can cause mental illness. If somebody doesnt know they are intolerant or it is causing their body inflammation. There is much proof of that. The mind and body are one. I've read beevees posts but there isnt just one method to solve everyones problems. It's not that simple. People who are severely vitamin deficient can fall into major depression and get better once their bodies get what it needs. It makes sense.
Read up on celiac disease and anxiety and depression. For a lot of celiacs depression is the main symptom.
Thank u Jeff1953, I have had anxiety I believe since childhood. My depression started to get bad in my late 20s but never inhibited me from doing what I wanted to do. Over the last 2 years it’s begun to effect my career which has always been one of my top priorities so much so that I had to go on intermittent FMLA, because I couldn’t even get out of bed to goto work. I could always push thru my “lows” up until recently. I will purchase the books that were mentioned above and see if they can help me with recovering.
Hi Slushy47, I’m just learning that food plays a role in how I feel. I am trying to go grocery shopping and buy healthy foods now instead of eating out for every meal. I know I have extremely bad inflammation in my body. I’m over weight and feel like u could stick a pin in me to deflate the puffiness. I need to find out how to get rid of the inflammation- it’s causing my body to ache and I have pains in my body that come and go... and I’m only 49. I will try to learn more about inflammation and do what I can to reduce it. Thank u!
We do what we have to in order to find answers in feeling better.
Self Hypnosis, Meditation, Breathing, Biofeedback, Mind Control etc
came into play for me and worked. Caffeine played havoc with my
anxiety at one time. But once you weigh the effects of food, only you
can make that choice as to the trade offs. For me, I still have my chocolate,
once you know where that unsettling feeling comes from and don't fear it,
you can still enjoy the things in life, within moderation. Eating healthy,
is always a good thing. xx
True but it’s not impossible. Acceptance is about feeling it all, letting the storm rage within and doing nothing to change it. You have to feel it all. It’s not something you need to enjoy or like feeling. It’s not pleasant but it’s just feeling it and not doing anything to try and change it. Over time, the thoughts and feelings melt away leaving peace of mind and body.
Just letting yourself feel is a luxury not everyone has. And even if they can many people have to do far more work to get anywhere near recovery, for many people acceptance is only a small step in a huge process to manage their mental illnesses.
For people who do not have a mental illness and are mentally healthy thought and feelings so come and go.
...and thoughts and feelings would also come and go for an anxiety sufferer too if they didn’t dwell upon them and worry about them all day. They worry and stress about how they are feeling and monitor themselves very closely because anxiety magnifies those thoughts and feelings. That is the only difference.
True thoughts and feelings go up and down for people with mental illness. False it's not caused by worrying about being stressed you can have panic attacks without being stressed about the panic attacks, you can have really bad anxiety without focusing on it. For example A mentally healthy persons has a baseline at 0, with 10 being panic attack and -10 unconscious, a person with clinical anxiety base level is 6. Everyone varies by 5 up and 5 down each day. That is the difference
Are your panic attacks recurring and come out of the blue? Do you know what triggered them in the first place? Why do you think they keep happening? What do you do when you have a panic attack? Does it worry you that you might have a panic attack?
I had panic attacks, chronic anxiety, GAD, intrusive thoughts etc. It’s all gone. Completely. I only feel anxious in circumstances that are appropriate and even then, I don’t dwell upon the feelings. They soon pass. I don’t fear it.
Acceptance is hard. Do you want recovery given to you on a plate? If only.
Everybody with anxiety disorder or the depression that comes from having anxiety disorder can recover. There are no exceptions.
I agree Jeff!
To answer your question, YES ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION CAN GO AWAY! but it’s going to take lots of time and hard work! you’re gonna have to work at it. Therapy helps and so do self help books! They could give you more information lol but I’ve read that every person on earth has anxiety! it’s just a natural thing. Maybe not as bad as some people but everyone has anxiety to some extent Things will get better, you’re not alone. Hugs ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I invite you to think again. On this thread both myself and Beevee have recovered using a self-help book. Not by 'just reading' it, as you say, but by reading it and putting what it says into practice.
I refer of course to the self help books written by Claire Weekes of whom it has been written : "the brilliant physician Claire Weekes created a treatment protocol to the unending benefit of tens of millions of patients over the year." - Doctor David Barlow, Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Psychiatry at Boston University.
Over the past few years, all of Doctor Weekes' self-help books have been reader reviewed on the U.K. and U.S. versions of Amazon 1,600 times. 90% rated them either Very Good or Excellent. The phrase 'saved my life' appears frequently.
Although Doctor Weekes did hold personal consultations the bulk of her recoveries came from her self help books.
Professional help based on one-to-one therapy can also bring recovery but even Sigmund Freud admitted towards the end of his life psychoanalysis had a poor success rate.
Self help books work if you fall in the norm. If you fall too far outside of the norm they become unhelpful.
What do you mean by too far outside the norm?
so in life for most things there is a bell curve, the middle being the norm and a range either side being the area that is considered normal, then there is always people who fall outside of that, for what ever reason. Something that normally happens to me.
Acceptance will work for anyone because anxiety is fuelled by fear or fearing the feelings of fear such as panic attacks. It doesn’t matter how abnormal a person may feel or what side of a curve they fall on.
We create anxiety. We do it to ourselves. It’s our natural fight or flight response in overdrive because we keep triggering it because we are frightened of the feelings of fear. When it’s overused, it can trigger without anything actually happening. I used to wake up in panic even though I hadn’t thought about anything to trigger it. It just happened. I was hung up on that for a while but then decided to stop trying to figure out why it was doing that and leave it be.
The feelings can’t harm us. They are there to protect us in times of perceived danger. They are purposely designed to make us fight or avoid the threat and flee the scene. This is why acceptance works because you send a message to the amygdala that there is no threat so it starts to tone down the response and stop your adrenal glands pumping you full of adrenalin to prepare you for that threat. That threat is usually the fear of having a panic attack which creates the perfect storm.
We all have the power to stop it too when we stop fearing. It’s not something that just happens to us and fully treatable no matter how abnormal someone might feel. Anxiety makes you feel abnormal.
I don't feel abnormal, medically I puzzle the doctors. I puzzle the developmental people. I literally an classed as complex. This isn't a feeling thing, I regularly fall into the below 1 percent of the population for many different things. I'm the person who gets the extremely rare (1/10000 or something like that) side effect on the majority of medication I try. I'm the person who just confuses people. I love it, I love breaking stereotypes. It sucks when it means people can't or won't help you but it also leads to hilarious situations.
Also where have you got the scared of having a panic attack thing, I'm not scared of panic attacks most of the time I just deal with them and don't notice them too much, I just try to keep my breathing steady and wait for it to go, meltdowns on the other hand make themselves known and cause havoc.
Acceptance is not a cure all, fighting against yourself isn't going to help anything sure, but it doesn't just get rid of anxiety or anything else. Feelings can't hurt you if, you don't have a sever mental illness or developmental disability, sure.
You said you are not scared of having a panic attack most of the time and don’t notice them so much. Your earlier posts on this forum suggest otherwise to me.
“Struggling day to day with mental health, freaking out about different things, you are so anxious but you don’t know why, you hate feeling out of control, wanting all those thoughts in your head to shut up, everything sucks.“
All this you have described are classic symptoms of anxiety and very common. Some of the thoughts and feelings may be unique to you but the cause is the same and don’t think you are any different to many others on this forum. It seems pretty clear to me that you are bewildered, that you are frightened and confused about your situation and unable to convey that to anyone.
I’ve been in that very same situation. If you weren’t scared or fearful you wouldn’t have said all those things. There is very little difference between hating something and being frightened or scared. If you didn’t struggle with it all, you wouldn’t be on this forum seeking help. Acceptance is the opposite of struggling and key to overcoming the very thing you are struggling with. It is the struggle that will stop you moving forward and living free from highly inappropriate levels of anxiety and panic.
I’ll leave it there and wish you luck in searching for answers. Recovery will happen when you give up that search, accept what is happening to you and no longer afraid of those thoughts and feelings.
I'm not scared of anxiety, I'm scared of ended up in a psych ward again. I'm scared of ended up in a dangerous position because my head took over again. That's what I'm scared of. I'm scared of having a massive meltdown. I'm scared of have a psychotic break. I'm scared of all the other aspects of mental health that I have no control over when they happen. Like dissociation.
Example: I fully accepted that I have chronic pain, that does mean I don't struggle to control it.
Example 2: I fully accepted I need to use a wheelchair sometimes and going down hills are amazing but that doesn't mean I don't struggle when places aren't accessible or people touch my chair or are annoying about it.
Example 3: I fully accepted that I have dyslexia that doesn't mean I don't sometimes struggle to read or spell.
Example 4: I'm fully accept I have sensory processing disorder, that doesn't mean I don't struggle to manage it day to day.
I could go on all day.
for some people it goes away over time, you could be one of those people or you could not be. the ups and downs are terrifying and upsetting and hard to deal with. but after i have a major episode for a few weeks and i finally feel happy again, i realize that it’s worth the struggle to get through the bad shit. i’m the mean time find little things that enlighten you, fresh air, light exercise or yoga, maybe find a pretty park around your area and when you feel the worst you can go there and feel free. that’s what helps me, but i know we’re all v different. i hope you can find some light🧡
I would gladly have sought out a therapist who had lived and breathed anxiety and knew how to overcome the disorder but they are few and far between. I saw a few, one of which had me on all 4s barking like a dog, trying to rid myself of extreme anxiety. Thought it was an exorcism!
Anxiety isn’t complex when you know what you are dealing with, how it manifests itself and know how to overcome it. Knowledge and understanding is the bedrock of recovery. Acceptance is the foundation.
Recovery can be slow (depends on how long a person takes to fully grasp the concept of acceptance, loses their fear or sheer displeasure of the symptoms and lets go) but it is entirely possible. Anyone can recover from anxiety and it doesn’t matter how long a person may have been suffering. Recovery is waiting to happen, sufferers just need to step aside and let Mother Nature take care of the natural healing process in the same way the human body heals from an injury.
it's kinda a therapists job to adapt the self help/theories. Into something that works for the individual and mix together lots of different theories to find the best way to help an individual. Which is far more individualized than any book can be, also a book can't do medication! There is a definite need for mental health professionals
Not saying there isn’t a need but most of what they know has been learnt from text books or taught by those who have not suffered and simply don’t understand the level of suffering.
My recovery is down to two people who suffered themselves and knew how to overcome it by changing their attitude towards the symptoms and learning to let go.
Of course they don’t go away “completely”. Everyone has anxiety! It’s a normal thing like i’ve said. Not everyone has the disorder but anxiety is still there. Everyone’s going to feel depressed at times too in life. Life is hard! We weren’t promised a life free of problems. But I have seen people recover from mental illness and it does take a lot of hard work and time! You can get better. I didn’t come on here to argue with anyone, I simply just stated that you can recover because it’s the truth! I’m sorry you don’t believe that, but when you believe and tell yourself YOU CAN RECOVER, then you will if you put in the work it takes won’t happen overnight.
Giada, let me jump on the band wagon of Acceptance. Unfortunately,
it took me years to believe in it but once I put it into practice, I was free.
That was the "key" to healing. Using it everyday.
It requires a shift in a sufferers’ attitude so that they no longer care about the symptoms being there and crack on with their day, regardless of how they are feeling.
Accepting all those thoughts and feelings is made easier when the sufferer understands what is happening to them and why and all generated by an anxious mind which is being fuelled by fear of the symptoms. Turning all those “What ifs???” into “So What?!!”
Beevee, I agree. The "what if" thought is powerful. It can keep it's
hold on us for us long as we allow it to. When enough becomes enough,
I kicked Anxiety to the curb.
When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. ❤️
Agree with the powerful what ifs which did take a certain leap of faith to leave alone and all helped by understanding that it was anxiety creating the thoughts and not based on reality.
As a kid my mom and sister would make fun of me because I would always ask “what if”... this happens what will I say.... little did I know that was anxiety speaking.... just learned that about myself... Even now my sister will laugh and say remember when u were too scared to make a telephone call to Kmart to ask if our photos were ready to be picked up... Now as a 49 year old adult I guess it’s showing up in different ways....
The self help book I am referring to cures all forms of anxiety, panic disorder, OCD, agoraphobia etc for the simple reason that all have the same root cause which is fear. The principles that Dr Weekes pioneered work for everyone. Not just some lucky individuals with bucketfuls of courage.
Anxiety only makes situations seem more complex than they really are due to all that brain chatter. It creates mountains out of molehills. However all those symptoms that bewilder, frighten or confuse are caused by fear so the cure is also the same. Losing your fear of them. When I say fear, I also mean an intense dislike and doing anything to get rid of the feelings. By accepting, you allow the feelings to come which draws their sting until they sting no more. Recovery is then just a matter of time.
I never argue, never. I can only relay to people how I finally got out of
this trap that Anxiety was holding me in. Believe me Giada, Medication
and lots of therapy up to 5-6 times a week were used. As well as
in patient hospitalization. Something had to change and it was ME.
You once wanted to know my story...this is a big part of it.
Definitely, use therapy. It will help direct you onto the right path. It will
allow you to find different methods of gaining control over your life again.
Not everything works for everyone, we each have to find our way in our
own time. I wish you nothing but the best and am here for you and others xx
Apologies. I am not the argumentative type. Just very passionate about helping others using the knowledge and experience I gained during my road to recovery. I wish you well.
RecreateMyself, let me just say one last thing before moving on to
others who need our support. As long as you have a list of "nope" you
can't do anything because of no motivation, nothing will change.
When the day comes that the you can say "I think I can, turned into
I knew I could"....you will start going forward. I care xx
Exactly! it’s possible
You are asking for elaboration on acceptance. Surely Beevee has given a brilliant resume several times on this thread.
So there are three people here who have found respite/recovery from anxiety and depression from reading a book by the same author. Claire Weekes, who was nominated for a Noble Prize for her work for psychiatry.
Respectfully, everybody else is still suffering from anxiety and are all criticising the idea of finding recovery from a self help book.
Can you see the incongruity in the view that self help books are of little help?
Twenty years ago I paid 4 figures and went for therapy at the world famous Priory Clinic. I hadn't the feintest idea what they were talking about. Though I am sure there are good therapists about.
I picked up a copy of 'Self help for your nerves' by Claire Weekes. Within two hours I knew what was happening to me and I had gained understanding, reassurance and a road to recovery. I wasn't cured by reading the book. I recovered by putting into practice what I had read.
Doctor Weekes said that her method can be summed up in 6 words so this may be the answer to your question.
"Face. Accept. Float. Let time pass."
Hi there,I may have been born just to answer your question!!😆💝. But seriously,I suffered severe deppression for about 6 years. So much I'd love to say to you to try to help you but I'll try to condense. I'm 46 and though I've had a number of heartaches in my life,as most do,I'd never experienced that deep deep depression that just dosn't go away ,it was with me all the time,it zapped any happiness I'd had,I was utterly miserable and it was hell on earth,(not being dramatic just want to convey how bad it was),I didn't even know a person could get that low,I was terrified after a while that I was stuck like that forever,all I could hope for is that life went fast as I didn't want to take my life for my family's sake. I tried to tell people,but I guess they didn't know what to do,so I shut down thinking I'd be put in a mental home if anyone knew. I became almost robotic,doing life some times to perfection cos I had to. Still living in utter hell. The guilt almost killed me as I have 4 children who I adore ,a home ..... But I think after many many years of abuse from my husband by the time he'd left me I was finished,he'd ruined me,I'm strong but he killed my soul. Have you had trauma?? Anyway' you'd think I'd get better but that's when it got worse which confused me . I was soooooo alone . I don't know how I don't know why ,maybe it was all those years of literally begging god to help me,I'm still not 100%sure,but I can tell you I'm better!!!!!can even say it's a miracle, obviously still have had bad days or weeks when something bad happens cis I'm on this site ,but I can say I'm generally happy,yes happy!!!!! Honestly a miracle to me!!!! I tried tablet s here and there I tried councelling here and there and retreated.
But I got better anyway!!!! I'm on antidepressants now ,I won't go off them, escalatopram ( little side effects for me). Please please please keep hope ,you need hope ,you need someone like me to tell you , absolutely yes you will get better,I honestly believe you will,if I can anyone can. I didn't do anything special so don't think I did something amazing or tried harder than you ,it's nothing to do with that ,that makes it worse. Some things that really helped me was doing anything that brought me even the tiniest bit of joy,mine is my veggie patch,I get out there in dirt lol,there's no bills or pressure or family problem s out there,I'd take a beer, and wanted to be left alone I could cry if I wanted to, i looked a mess I'm sure but eventually I said F it I NEED this,I still love my veggie garden. Is there something you love,not what others love what YOU enjoy. Don't try to recreate yourself too much , find YOU,what YOU like,with no expectation s ,give yourself a little break, deppression is absolutely exhausting!!!! I think this is where my healing started,and hugging my cat(see so small and so silly but I needed affection I needed to be hugged but I had no one there do that so my cat got lots of cuddles they still do lol ,and there are absolutely no expectation s whatsoever from a pet,they don't care if the house is a mess or you look a mess. I will say a very big prayer for you ,and know you are not alone I this ,there are people who TRULY understand how terrible deppression can be. With all my heart I hope you will soon start to feel something lift,that you'll feel a little lighter and know you won't feel like this forever💗 🌈🤗
Hello Mumma_h, I’m just reading your response from 7 months ago today. I’m in tears. I truly felt something just by reading your words. I am working from home and on my lunch break just sitting here crying over this. For some reason when u asked if I had any traumas in my past it triggered me. I for the most part have had (or should have had) 49 years of a pretty nice life.. or at least it should have been.... I had a lot of conflict with my dad... but likely nothing considered traumatic... he drank a lot and singled me out to put down as lazy, u could do better in school and sports and orchestra- blah blah, etc...
Right now I don’t have anything in my life that I do for enjoyment. I can’t even tell u what I would enjoy doing. Many years ago I enjoyed doing a couple of things that I don’t do anymore because I’m out of shape and now overweight... I look at family members (no friends left)... and some of them have hobbies and active lives outside of work but for some reason I don’t. I’ve had “find a hobby” on my to do list for 5 years and just end up procrastinating.
I’m feeling better now than 7 months ago and have improved but I can feel things changing over the last month or so... I have been really depressed lately and very negative... and that’s probably why I’m on this site again...
You can lose the weight and get in shape. You can find a hobby but most likely it will find you. You can realize that those family members you compare yourself to have their own demons. And you can get on this site, as you have, where 52,000 people and counting often feel the way you do. You’ll be ok, recreate!
It was an illustration.
Giada, I commend you for seeking the best treatments for you. It can be hard to believe that the tough, down-in-out miserable moments will not last, but I see you. Just reading how you are approaching this seems to show how strong you are and how you willing to do the work in helping your mental health. And I hear ya--I've struggled with Anxiety (GAD), OCD, Depression (MDD) for many years and I've been through medications, doctors, and therapists. But, that's part of it all really. I've also been through relationships, jobs, life. Keep doing it. It will get easier, and the relapses won't last as long. Try to use what you gain from all of this. Just reading your insight about acceptance of mental health conditions, fighting against stigmas, all of it is showing a real knowledge and strength. Good for you. You are going to get through this and education others, which is desperately needed, as you do.
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