Does this sound like bipolar

[Starrlight]

I miss mania. I do. Really very much...except for the bad desicions, the psychosis and the toss back down into hell.

So lately I have mood swings but maybe hypomania with deep depression occuring as it is not intense . They happen quickly back and forth much of most days like rapid cycling and i can still sleep and function. Not sure, maybe its my thoughts that are creating this although i was diagnosed with bipolar by four different doctors throughout the years.

I am most of all anxious w / panic attacks. I get irritable and i know mania can get that way; doesnt always feel great. But who wouldnt be irritable with high anxiety?

Im just trying to figure out whats going on with me.

Any ideas? How are others with bipolar experiencing it?

[deborah27]

what things give you stability?

[Starrlight in reply to deborah27]

My schedule which I try to maintain, support people, meditation and exercise.

[deborah27 in reply to Starrlight]

good to hear that, so often isolation can really become established and makes everything even more difficult. I have a few friends who keep things 'grounded' and rational when anxiety takes over.

[Starrlight in reply to deborah27]

I am so glad you have relationships like that. You are right. There is tendancy to isolate. I sometimes struggle with it.

[deborah27 in reply to Starrlight]

use here to speak about what is going on with you, it puts things in perspective. it is a good place to share a burden and also to reach out and support someone else when things are rubbish for them too.

[lovedogs51511]

Hi I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 but feel exactly like you said. With mine its happy a few days and then depressed wishing I could just die. I'm probably more depressed than hyper. I do notice the hyper part but after that I get severely depressed. Can I ask if you take meds for it? I take two antipsychotic drugs Geodon and lamictal which help a lot!! Without those 2 I get really messed up. I'm glad you wrote that post. Maybe we can help each other get thru the hard times or good times. My name is Kacey. Anytime you need to talk thru this I'm available cause I'm not working right now. Hope to hear from you.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to lovedogs51511]

I forgot to say that like you said I suffer from horrible anxiety most of all. It keeps me housebound a lot. I get super nervous around ppl and even family. Its just awful to suffer from extreme anxiety!!

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

True, its tough. The anxiety causes a bit of that for me also.

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

Sounds similar huh? Kacy lets keep in touch.

I am on meds too, zyprexa, abilify, propanolol, lithium. I feel like i need a good anti anxiety but since i am already on all of these, i am hesitant.

[Starrlight in reply to Starrlight]

Im glad your meds help you . What else is helpful for you?

[lovedogs51511]

Thanks for the messages. Yes lets keep in touch cause I really think we can help each other!! I hope your meds work to help you get thru the day. I agree with you about getting on an anti anxiety medication to help with the horrible anxiety. Its to much to bear each day. Hope you have a really great day hun!!!

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

Thanks! Hope you have many beautiful moments in your day!

[lovedogs51511]

Hi starlight, just checking in with you to see how your doing. I hope you don't mind cause I just want to make sure your doing ok. I've had a really nice lady named Lisa that stays in touch with me daily which has been nice. Talks me thru the hard times. I sure hope I can do the same for you. Anyways let me know anytime if you need to talk ok?

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

Lovedogs, I really appriciate you checking in on me. It really helps.

I woke up feeling blessed in ways and am trying to focus on that instead of intrusive thoughts which can make me feel like I am failing. I figure as long as i cant do anything about the situation, just trying to be in the present moment (will meditate today and practice being mindful) and not worry is best but easier said than done. And when I can do something about the worry, I will work hard.

How are you lovedogs? How are you feeling today?

[lovedogs51511 in reply to Starrlight]

That's a really good way to look at things!! I do so much worrying its ridiculous!! What is with that anyways? Is that related to bipolar? I'm such a worried. My mom always tells me stop worrying! Its so hard to not worry about anything. I'm glad your doing good. Keep in touch ok. Have a great Sunday😎😀💝

[Starrlight in reply to lovedogs51511]

Yeah about the worrying, the things I worry about (mostly future events) always turn out easier than i make it up to be.

Wow I am really fighting depression today. I have been working hard but thats not enough to block out this depression. At least I still have motivation.

Thanks for being here! Have a nice Sunday!

[lovedogs51511]

Hi Deborah!! I'm sorry I thought all the replies! I didn't even pay attention I thought they were all from starlight. My ADHD has done that to me a lot. I'm a space cadet they call me. Spacey Kacey!!! Lol. Um stability I usually have a dog with me and I put all of my attention goes to my dog!! Right now I havent had a dog in 5 years. That's why I've been struggling so much. I miss my best friend Cheyenne, that was a shepherd lab mix. She was my best friend!! I don't have any friends here in las vegas but one lady which I rarely talk to. Dogs give me a lot of stability. They are so wonderful especially the unconditional love they give!!! Sometimes my advice isn't great I apologize for that. Hope to hear from you soon. I'm sorry I was Spacey Kacey again. Need a pill for that too!!!

[deborah27 in reply to lovedogs51511]

hi, please don't worry at all! I am really glad you are chatting on forum. you have struggled since losing your special friend Cheyenne, are you in a position to get a dog from a rescue shelter? you sound like a really caring person. keep posting on here and there's no way you are spacey kacey! you're a survivor and never forget that.

[lovedogs51511 in reply to deborah27]

Oh hi there Deborah😀 I'm 3 months away from moving from Las Vegas to St. George, Utah. I'm going to be getting life back meaning ill be retaking a CNA course, finding a nice apt or modular home and then get my new best friend💝💝🐶 I haven't been truly happy since losing Cheyenne!! Miss her like crazy!! She was strong, playful, silly and oh boy did she love the water!! Never had even one problem with her. She will always be my number 1 🐕. I can't wait to rescue another dog. I haven't been able to have one here cause of living in an apt. Its been 5 years already. Utah will be great cause ill be able to take my next dog hiking and swimming. Rather be in country living and not in the city. How are you? Everything going ok? I'm here if you ever need to talk to someone ok!!

[deborah27 in reply to lovedogs51511]

hi, brilliant that you have plans, sounds exciting! we aren't ever asking for the moon, just the ability to pay the bills and have some joy. I can just picture you and your new best friend hiking and rambling together, bliss. I'm ok, a bit wobbly on and off. really hard taking our own advice, always easier to give to others. keep in touch. x