Does it ever end?

[Cookie2217]

This depression, doom, gloom, scarred to go out sometimes too. Does it ever end? The latest bout of my major depressive disorder has lasted 4 years now. Enough already. My loved ones don't really understand and say things like get out in the sunshine it's good for you..etc. etc. I know they're trying to be helpful I really do but it can get overwhelming and they just don't seem to grasp the idea that I just don't have the desire to do these things right now. Believe me I wish I wanted too. My husband and I are supposed to move to Florida in a few months but I'm scarred that I'll just continue to be depressed in "the sunshine state." Anyone have any suggestions?

[gajh]

Yes it does end. The way out is by taking baby steps. It is overwhelming to think of doing something. You break it down into teeny tiny steps. Take the first step. Celebrate that. Then maybe the next day try to take the next step. It is gradual. It doesn't happen overnight. I don't know where you are starting from, but just for an example. If you want to wash the dishes and you are staying in bed all day. The first step is to go out and lay on the couch. Nothing to do with the dishes. Then sit up on the couch. Then stand at the kitchen sink for a minute. Keep going really slow. Once you succeed at this task then you can do the same thing for a different task. Don't overwhelm yourself. Really give yourself credit for each and every step that you take. Share it with us here if you want and we can support and encourage you. We can celebrate your victories. You don't have to do it alone. This has made such a huge difference in my life. Very slow but steady progress. Not yet where I want to be, but much, much better than where I was. Getting the support here really makes the difference.

[Mrspjsmom in reply to gajh]

Perfectly said. Every day I get up and tell myself today is another chance. I have to take baby steps too. The only thing I would add is making an I DID list every day. Writing down all the things I do may seem small. But on a bad day taking a shower, brushing my teeth, taking care of the dog and the cat, making something to eat all matter. Even on your worst days you do more than you realize. Keep posting. It helps.

[Cookie2217 in reply to Mrspjsmom]

Thank you so much for the helpful suggestions. I appreciate it.

[Rhianna62]

It does! I have battled major depressive disorder for decades and even hospitalized for it for months. But with mine it's clinical depression and I am on Wellbutrin, Remeron, Seroquel, Busphar and Klonopin for anxiety. Sometimes you have to be on a "Cocktail" of meds to resolve the depression. There is also deep brain electrical stimulation like what Wynona Judd has for treatment resistant depression. I just keep researching "new treatments". I tell myself giving up is not an answer. Are you in any meds for anxiety and MDD? Or other treatments? I hope you feel better soon! 🙏🙏🤞

[Rhianna62]

I just sent you a reply but accidentally sent it to the wrong person. I resent it and it's the one above this one.

[Rhianna62]

I think the being scared to go out is social anxiety disorder (I might be wrong). I know that the Busphar and the Klonopin as well as a Beta Blocker helped me a lot. And I don't have that "Doom and gloom" feeling so much. Are you seeing a mental health professional? Are you being treated for this or prescribed anything? Have you told them your feelings about your anxiety? I know it's no fun. I'm lucky to have a good Psychiatrist..but I also have to be on a "cocktail" of meds. Sometimes one med is not enough. Praying for your continued recovery. 🙏🙏🤞

[Cookie2217 in reply to Rhianna62]

Unfortunately I don't have medical insurance right now so it's hard financially to get a psychiatrist and a therapist but I'm definitely looking into those Avenues good news is I got a new job and it has health insurance so hopefully things will work out that way.

[Rhianna62 in reply to Cookie2217]

That's great. I know what helped me was joining a social club. My fav was playing bingo. We would win T-shirts and stuff. I moved further so I haven't been back there in almost 2 years and I really miss it. It was a place for people in treatment with a mental health diagnosis. Anyway I hope everything works out for you.

[Rhianna62 in reply to Cookie2217]

I know there are clinics here that are on a sliding scale. Just whatever you pay. You shouldn't have to suffer. When I first moved to Hamilton, I had no insurance, but I was able to get into a Mental health agency and receive Psychiatric services for free. I was so broke I couldn't even afford to make monthly payments or go on a payment plan. Then I became severely depressed and was hospitalized and I don't know how but I guess I was in just awful shape, I was admitted and stayed the three days for free. They then referred me to a Psychiatrist who was independent and worked pro bono until you got insurance or something like that, but by this time I was already at a mental health clinic I liked. About a year later I got on Medicaid and I was able to receive medical services badly needed. Have you had your thyroid checked? They say a low functioning thyroid will make you depressed or high functioning. They give you a small blood test and I had very low numbers on my thyroid and I was put on Levothyroxine which I am still on and will have to be for the rest of my life. They also suggested B12 shots and B6 vitamins, B vitamins are excellent (especially Niacin) because they raise your Serotonin and Dopamine levels. They helped me out a lot until I found the right medication. And you know what? Except for the B12 shots (I now take the OTC tablets) I still take them. I also have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) for the shorter winter days, as well as sitting by a light therapy box and that helps as well. But what works for one person, might not work for another, so be sure to ask your Doctor about these alternative therapys until you find the right meds. 😊

[Cookie2217 in reply to Rhianna62]

Thank you Rhianna for all of your helpful advice and things that you have done in order to get yourself a psychiatrist and be involved in a mental health clinic. I've looked here for a mental health clinic and in the process of signing up there hopefully for sliding scale therapeutic services. I have heard that a light box helps you a lot so I'm going to be purchasing one of those in the near future as well. I appreciate all of your thoughts on this thank you so much.

[Rhianna62 in reply to Cookie2217]

You're welcome..let me know if it's working for you. You deserve nothing but happiness. We all do. But sadly we are sliding through the cracks of the mental health system. It just doesn't seem right.

[Cookie2217 in reply to Rhianna62]

Your exactly right about that Rhianna. Mental health has a long way to go because there's still a stigma surrounding i. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean that mental health issues and problems don't exist you know what I mean. So many people say things to us like "oh just get over it" or think that we're lazy because we can't get out of bed but that's not it at all. Depression is a debilitating disease and I'm just beginning to see the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel to dig myself out of the hole called depression. I asked my doctor to put me on a new medication because my old medication wasn't working anymore. I was on 100 mg of Pristiq and 10 mg of Abilify and I had my doctor switch me to Prozac 20 mg to start and in 2 weeks my doctor will assess whether or not to bump it up to 40 mg and this is along with the Abilify as well 10 mg as a booster. Hopeful that this will work out well for me. My best friend Lisa and my husband's Cousin Dave both take Prozac and swear by it so I figured I would try it as well. Keep in touch and I hope you're doing well wishing you peace and well-being.

[NorwegianWood]

Consider volunteering somewhere. Anywhere. It will give you a reason to get up in the morning and give structure to your day. It won't give you miracles but it will give you interactions and you will build relationships and who knows where that might lead.

[Agora1 in reply to NorwegianWood]

Absolutely. giving of one's self can have a positive effect on both

people. What goes around comes around xx

[Cookie2217 in reply to Agora1]

Very true

[Cookie2217 in reply to NorwegianWood]

I work and am social when I'm there. It's just the act of getting up in the morning that's hard for me so I'm going to have to work hard and get over that I just got some good news though and got another job that is more suited to my liking so I'm very happy about that.

[Agora1 in reply to Cookie2217]

MDDSUPPORT, what good news in finding another job that is more to your liking.

I've been fortunate all my life, in knowing the direction I wanted to take. I always

had jobs that I liked going to. That makes a big difference. Good Luck and please

keep us updated with the new job prospect. xx

[Cookie2217 in reply to Agora1]

I'm praying that all goes well with everything and I can start in a few weeks.

[Agora1 in reply to Cookie2217]

Best of luck to you. xx

[Cookie2217 in reply to Agora1]

Thank you so much!

[Rhianna62 in reply to NorwegianWood]

That's a wonderful idea! I tried that. I wanted to work for a no kill animal sanctuary. I was so excited. I was to come in for orientation that weekend. Well..so much for that. I was so depressed, I couldn't even get out of bed, or muster up the strength to even take a shower or make some toast. So it was back to the Psychiatric unit I went. 😞

[Zhangliqun]

Florida is not going to cure you -- or make you worse.

Wherever you are, it is absolutely critical to get up, go and do. Doing nothing all the time will keep you at the mercy of the feedback loop of your negative thoughts with no other voices around to break them up, which will put you in a spiral you may not come out of.

The time you least feel like getting up is the time you most need to do it.

Also -- do you have a solid diagnosis? Medications? Other treatment?

[Cookie2217 in reply to Zhangliqun]

Yes I had Major depressive disorder PTSD and adjustment disorder. I take Pristiq 100 mg. and Abilify as a booster. I've done CBT therapy and Psychotherapy as well. I want to go back to therapy but don't have insurance so it's hard financially to do so.

[Zhangliqun in reply to Cookie2217]

Do you have anxiety with it too? If yes, Trazadone at night and Duloxetine by day has helped Mr a lot.

[Cookie2217 in reply to Zhangliqun]

I have a prescription for Trazadone but haven't really used it in years. It was prescribed to me for sleeping issues.

[Rhianna62 in reply to Cookie2217]

Trazodone never worked for me. Then it was prescribed to me for something else, I can't remember. Then she put me on Ambien which worked for a little while, then stopped. I found that sleeping pills made me feel more depressed and too drowsy when I woke up and want to sleep too much. Melatonin didn't do too much either. What did work was Klonopin (I asked her about Lunesta, etc) but she said no. The Klonopin was a Godsend. I take 2mg in morning for severe anxiety and 2mg in evening (4mg total daily) and I sleep very well now.

[Rhianna62 in reply to Zhangliqun]

She has a job now which is great...

[Rhianna62 in reply to Zhangliqun]

So true. I lived in Sarasota for a long time right on Siesta Key beach. Voted one of the top five beaches in the world. So I sat in my condo and just stared out at everyone having fun with their children and family's, sitting at Tiki Huts, having Pina Colada, people playing Tennis, Volleyball..and still I sat..just sad.. lonely and empty. People begged me to go on meds. I was only in my early twenties. I refused because I didn't want to be a zombie. I wasted so much of my life living severely depressed. I did not go on meds until my late thirties. So ashamed of myself.