Just sad

[Fireheart13]

Hello, I'm new here. I have chronic depression and anxiety. I'm on Zoloft. Overall I do well. But I can feel the depression creeping up on me right now. I've had a stressful year. Husband lost his job and it took longer than expected to find a new one. Grandparents with serious health concerns. A very stressful job that gets more stressful all the time. And now I have a coworker with breast cancer and another whose house just burned down. I feel horrible for them and am supporting them in every way I can, but I feel that leaves no room for me to feel how I feel right now. I'm exhausted, but I feel I can't complain because my struggles aren't so easily visible. I'm very open about my mental health with others, but I still don't feel supported. I'm always the one helping others- coworkers, friends, family. Everyone. But when I need help, the help isn't there. I had surgery last year, no one really cared. No cards. No flowers. No care packages. Very few check-ins. Meanwhile I organized door dashing food to my coworker at chemo and made her a blanket. I moved my sister out of an extremely abusive relationship and was in contact with her daily as she worked to rebuild her life. Meanwhile when the horse who was my most important coping mechanism for 18 years died I didn't even get flowers. I just feel lost and sad. I feel neglected and worn out. I have no self esteem.

[Vonus5591]

Just because you are coping with other people's problems - doesn't mean you don't have stress, problems or emotions. Take a few days off and see how you feel after having the time for yourself. See or do something that will distract your mind or give you a good feeling, like movies or swimming etc Make time for self care - show yourself some kindness - kind and caring thoughts, buy those plants or flowers to make you feel good, Do it for yourself and show some love and understanding of those emotions that need to be felt.

[Fireheart13 in reply to Vonus5591]

Thank you. I have those days off scheduled, but unfortunately due to staffing concerns due to my coworkers emergencies those days are not until June. Maybe I will buy myself flowers though.

[tommy2toes]

Hi There:

You seem to have fallen into the same trap that I did for decades. Namely, putting the needs of others far and above your own. Over time, as a result of that, your psyche sort of disappears, and once your become cognizant to the fact of what has happened, you essentially start leading your life in terms of having to keep giving to others in order to prove your self worth. Obversely, suborning your own consciousness sooner or later becomes unsustainable, and when you become aware of the fact, you start to feel the sort of feelings that you have just described, in other words, “nobody cares about me,” “my own existence almost fades into the wallpaper,” and “I am essentially worthless.” Do those sort of sentiments ring any bells?

If they do, you are going to have to make some changes in how you see yourself, because, even subconsciously, those around you are more than happy with the current status quo. Thus, develop some mental barriers regarding the extent to which you will pitch in and help. Remember empathy is great, but over-empathy is not. Additionally, take steps to make time to love yourself, and pat yourself on the back. Also, do things what will help foster a strong sense of who you are (your self worth). Finally, do not believe that your good acts will necessarily result in something positive in return, I say that because, I used to share your mindset, but the truth was f the matter is that not many do.

[Fireheart13 in reply to tommy2toes]

Thank you. Honestly, that rings a lot of bells. Lots to think about. I guess I don't really know how to be around others when I'm not trying to do something for them.

[tommy2toes in reply to Fireheart13]

The pleasure is all mine. In one phrase, "been there, done that." Please feel free to pose as many questions as you like either below or to the community as a whole. There is strength in unity, and you are not alone.

[Fireheart13]

Thank you. I just feel so guilty when I try to prioritize myself.

[Teaching]

Welcome to the community. I'm sorry you are going through this. This is a platform full of love. Hopefully, you will get help here.

[catsrock]

It's so hard when people aren't there for us when we've been there for them. I've had a lot of deaths in my family, including 3 suicides, and it always shocks me how some people don't do anything when my life is hard or expect me to be over it within days or weeks. Just know here we understand. I hope you get a break soon.

[mindys253]

Hello, I am sorry that you are feeling like this.. try and take some time for you!!! I am here for you!! SO sorry about your beloved horse. I fed these 5 horses when I bike ride who live in terrible conditions, carrots, bananas, apples, they love me.. makes me so happy!!