Why does doing good cost so much

[ImNotCrazyJustSad]

My ex contacted me and asked me to house his friend til he could be moved to Colorado.

Sure, why not? He hasn't done me any wrong.

So why do I sit here and cry.

I've always been a good person. I go by the guide line "what would god want me to do" I feel like thats the best way to live.

But at what cost?

I've been used and abused all my life and yet here I am being the good person while my ex can't even be around me.

Did I grow two heads and not know it?

I'm at war with myself. I want him to feel my pain and suffering, but God wouldn't want me to act on that.

So here sits the good lil girl broken hearted and suffering while the whole world just keeps revolving and the days go on.

I was doing so good. I thought I was feeling better, but as soon as contact was made I'm back to square one.

Back to crying, back to being sad.

Is it better to hurt or to feel nothing?

I wish I felt nothing. It would make everything easier.

I wish I had the ability to do to people as they have done to me. It would be a different story altogether.

I can't....

Idk what I'm doing

[hb_kenzie]

I know how you’re feeling. For me, cutting all contact helped me a lot when it came to moving on from my ex and now I’m with the love of my life. You have to cut the cord with him, I know it’s going to suck at first but trust me you’re going to feel much better in the long run

[Raiden]

Yeah that is a hard one your self esteem must b pretty used up. Firstly i think his a dick to put you in that position and secondly i would have done the same for my ex hoping she would come over. I feel for ya bud stay positive maybe invite some friends over to take your mind off it.

[ImNotCrazyJustSad in reply to Raiden]

My house is always full of people and I try to emerge myself in with the contsct. I just don't feel it though. My heart's not in it

[Hidden]

Just sad, you are not helping others if it hurts you. Paula White Cain, said once in a sermon, you have to take care of yourself first, then you can help others. God does not require you to be a door knob, just to do good, be kind, be gentle, and that means be that way to yourself as well. God’s blessings, be good to yourself today!

[b1b1b1]

If you don't want to house this acquaintance you don't have to. Find a way to say "no." The best words I have found are "that doesn't work out right now." If you are pushed further, just say "as I said, it doesn't work right now."