My ex contacted me and asked me to house his friend til he could be moved to Colorado.
Sure, why not? He hasn't done me any wrong.
So why do I sit here and cry.
I've always been a good person. I go by the guide line "what would god want me to do" I feel like thats the best way to live.
But at what cost?
I've been used and abused all my life and yet here I am being the good person while my ex can't even be around me.
Did I grow two heads and not know it?
I'm at war with myself. I want him to feel my pain and suffering, but God wouldn't want me to act on that.
So here sits the good lil girl broken hearted and suffering while the whole world just keeps revolving and the days go on.
I was doing so good. I thought I was feeling better, but as soon as contact was made I'm back to square one.
Back to crying, back to being sad.
Is it better to hurt or to feel nothing?
I wish I felt nothing. It would make everything easier.
I wish I had the ability to do to people as they have done to me. It would be a different story altogether.
Idk what I'm doing