worried

[Stilltrying2]

The last time I was here was 2 years ago. I had everything under control until now. Now I can’t move riddled with fear and anxiety. I feel like a failure.

[Ellamaye]

It's been 2 years so you can't be a failure x more like your having a lapse and that will pass like last time x

[Stilltrying2 in reply to Ellamaye]

2 years was a very good run. I’m just so overwhelmed right now. I have family, but I can’t tell them how bad it is. They will be disappointed in me. I fought so hard the last time to get my head straight again. Thank you so much for the support!

[Ellamaye in reply to Stilltrying2]

Sometimes we can't share with our family or friends. But still have to share so maybe it's time to go back to your doctor or if it's not really bad then just talking on HU helps x you beat this once and can again x

[Barbloki]

You're not a failure. Things happen in life that can cause setbacks, especially in those of us with mental health issues. My last 10 years has been a rollercoaster after my mother died. I got better and then fell into the black hole again after another family death, then I was good again, then some health issues and marriage issues and I fell in the black hole again. You just have to keep trying. Keep reaching out for help and support and whatever you need to feel better again. Therapy. Medication. Group Support. This group. Whatever it takes. Don't give up.

[Stilltrying2 in reply to Barbloki]

Thank you so much for the kind words. It was actually my mom’s passing 2 years ago that brought me here. She was a complicated woman, but I still miss her everyday.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Stilltrying2]

hello Stilltrying, sorry to ask you something for myself - The hospice where my mum passed away said she was a complicated woman, and this is the first time i've heard that phrase. What does it mean, please, you might just help me to understand her better.

I'm stuck at the moment, too. I think we can both get through this by step by step getting our lives in order. Today I'm doing everything I can online, even if I don't feel ready for any appointments that come out of it. There is just so much to do - important stuff. Good luck with your struggles. We can do it.😊😊

[Stilltrying2 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

I can only tell you what “complicated” means to me. I do not know if it applies to your mom. She changed over the years. She became addicted to prescription drugs. There was the mom I had before the drugs, and there was the mom I had after the drugs. In the end she suffered from dementia and became very hard to handle. She had many faults, but I never stopped loving her. I miss her every day. I really do appreciate you reaching out to me. Hopefully, we can help each other.

[MaggieSylvie in reply to Stilltrying2]

Thanks, Stilltrying, for getting back to me so soon. That doesn't sound complicated to me at all. I knew one of my mum's secrets and I think perhaps she had some more that she divulged to the nurses in the hospice. I don't think any of us would want our family to know all our secrets when we die, so I don't blame her, but ..... I suspect that under her mask of a perfect human being, she was a normal human being like anyone else. There were no drugs involved until the year before she died, and they just made her sleep. She was only 67 so there was no dementia. I am much older and I am afraid dementia is galloping after me. My memory is really letting me down.

[Stilltrying2 in reply to MaggieSylvie]

Yes, we are all human, and we all have flaws. It sounds like you had a very good mom (mum). I agree with you, I certainly would not want my loved one’s to know all of my secrets. Thank you for sharing about your mum. It is always good to hear someone else’s story. Feel free to share more of your story if you would like.

[Hidden in reply to MaggieSylvie]

That's a great attitude!👍🏼

[GhostRobin]

You are not alone. Feeling terrible after a pretty good year. You were able to get better two years ago, and you can do it again!

[Stilltrying2 in reply to GhostRobin]

Thank you for your support. I hope that we can both get to a better place. Just having all of the kind words here is helpful.

[Dolphin14]

Welcome back

I'm so glad to read you had 2 good years! That's huge

There is no failure, something stirred things up again.

You can get through this time too

🐬

[Starrlight]

Love yourself you deserve it

[bethelbee]

You're not a failure; you had a setback which is common with depression and anxiety . What has helped you before? Meds? Therapy? Do you have a therapist and)or a doctor? Reaching out here is a great start. Maybe consider online(zoom) support groups. LiveWell Foundation.org has great groups. I was on there a while ago and they helped. NAMI also has groups. Both organizations are free to use, just have to register.

[Stilltrying2]

Thank you for the suggestions. I did not know that there were free zoom support groups. I will have to check that out. I am on an antidepressant. It helps keep everything in balance most of the time, but sometimes the anxiety cycles and and I think it alters my brain chemicals for a while until I can get them back into balance. I really like the support that I am finding here. Every one has been so kind and supportive. What a wonderful community you have here! I am thankful to all who have responded.

[Zhangliqun]

Do you have a diagnosis?

[Stilltrying2]

I was diagnosed years ago with anxiety and depression. I have meds which usually keep everything under control, but every once in awhile things go haywire. This is the first time I have had a problem in 2 years.

[MrsSippySlim]

I go through the same thing when it comes to feeling like a failure. It's like I can't get control of my life and the embarrassment of not being successful makes the anxiety so much worse.

[Stilltrying2 in reply to MrsSippySlim]

I agree that it does feel embarrassing. We feel like it’s our own fault. We accept blame for it. We should do better. But no one would shame us for developing any other disease. I know it is hard because I am right there with you. We need to learn to be kinder to ourselves. I think we are harder on ourselves than anyone else would ever be.

[MrsSippySlim in reply to Stilltrying2]

That's so true. My friend is always telling me not to be hard on myself because I'm recovering and none of this is my fault. It's not your fault either.

[Stilltrying2 in reply to MrsSippySlim]

It sounds like you have a very good and wise friend. That is a blessing.

[Teaching]

I really don't think you are a failure. This sickness sucks. I feel you are stronger than you think. It can only take a courageous person like you to be able to live everyday with this sickness. You are loved!

[Stilltrying2 in reply to Teaching]

Thank you so very much for your kind words!