Why do some people presume to know your business?

[secrets22]

I was absolutely fuming when someone yesterday said 'you have nothing to do' when i have my dining table strewn with paperwork to be dealt with and filed.

I happened to say I made a chocolate cake and this so-called friend piped up and said, well, you have nothing else to do.

If she had to deal with what I have to do she would be rolling around the floor in pieces, damn cheek.

And because i don't disclose my business and financial situation some people get nasty and feel they have a right to know.

I really shouldn't let it bother me, but it does because i am highly sensitive and take these slights to heart, its who I am.

What would you do.?

[Turnipgirl]

That's cheeky saying that to you that you supposedly have nothing better to do!

I would take no notice of her!

As long as you know you are trying your best then that's all that matters?

How are the dogs getting on?

[secrets22 in reply to Turnipgirl]

my dogs are fine, thankyou for asking.x and hows Baby.

[Turnipgirl in reply to secrets22]

Baby is as fit as a fiddle and as fat as a pig due to too many spoils and is still getting spoilt and looking forward to her 20th birthday party in April!

[secrets22 in reply to Turnipgirl]

WOW.......20, gosh ,and still doing well.

[Turnipgirl in reply to secrets22]

That's why she's 20 soon due to too many spoils!

We had a nice lunch out today at a place called the Fox and Hounds and saw some people from the carvery place there who had decided not to go to the carvery place out of protest on my behalf after some idiots had made comments about how much I put on my plate which they had thought was rude and none of their business!

[secrets22 in reply to Turnipgirl]

urghhh people, its non of their business what you put on the plate and with a carvery you take as much as you like anyway, and i love a carvery, Brent House is the best one I've ever been to. ?

[Turnipgirl in reply to secrets22]

There's a pub in the city centre that does a Sunday carvery and they put the meat and the veg on the plate for you but you can ask for say more mashed swede if you want.

I remember back in 2020 when the pubs and restaurants were opening back up and Toby carvery had said they would be serving veg on the plate and lots of people had complained!

Those that complained could have asked the member of staff say for more red cabbage on the plate!

With myself when that man was being rude most of my plate was full of veg rather than roast potatoes and Yorkshire puddings!

[hypercat54]

It doesn't sound like it was deliberately nasty but just a thoughtless remark.

I would have just corrected them then said well I was going to offer you a piece of my cake but won't now and make it light and humorous.

I must admit it would bug me afterwards though and I would start wondering if that's how others see me.

Make a decision about your friend. Are they now an ex friend to be avoided? Or are they worth keeping?

Once you make a decision it helps you feel more in control.

[secrets22 in reply to hypercat54]

Its actually a lady i have been very kind to over the years, but i fear it means nothing, and never really a friend, although the word 'friend' is bandied about so much today and has very little substance, I will continue to speak to her in passing but i won't go out of my way to help her again.

[secrets22]

Thanks Mandy, and much love to you too. XX

[Hidden]

Hi secrets, sorry to read this happened to you.I have been upset by people assuming things about me which aren't true as well.

My husband would have been able to brush this sort of thing off with no second thought like water off a ducks back.

I agree with hypercat - review this friendship.

Your business is your own, but I hope you can set your friend right at some point, if its worth it of course!

[secrets22 in reply to Hidden]

Hello WaitingGame, and like your husband, my late partner would have brushed it off as well, but unfortunately we aren't all made the same way, with me, hurt runs deep.

[Hidden in reply to secrets22]

Hurt runs deep, yes very true.Although I bear no ill will towards others who do this ( my daughter in laws mum does this and hurt me greatly recently) I just know now to be very wary of her. X

[Turnipgirl in reply to secrets22]

That's it isn't it!

What's silly and trivial to one person isn't to another!

[Audiomarc1]

Hi Secrets22. I'm sorry but there is a common belief that everyone isn't pulling their weight. Well who the hell put put them in charge. When I come across this behavior in people, I simply ignore any future contact with them. Life is too short to put up with other people's B.S. Our personal business is just that, personal. Don't let people's ignorance negatively affect you. It's tough enough to make it through every day by ourselves. As they say take a walk in my shoes before you make any comments about me. Hang in there Secrets22 and stay away from toxic people. Take care of yourself.👍👋

[secrets22 in reply to Audiomarc1]

Hello audiomarc I will cut myself adrift from them as you suggest, toxic people are always bad news, they pull you down like non other. And thankyou.

[Audiomarc1 in reply to secrets22]

Good luck, it can sometimes be a little painful especially if they are friends. I've had to get rid of friends in the past who became too volatile in our relationship. Oh well life sometimes isn't that easy. Be safe and happy.

[Midori]

I totally agree with Audiomarc,

If you are not getting much out of the friendship, then it's time to let it go.

Some folk don't know how offensive 'off the cuff' remarks like that can sting.

Nobody's business but yours.

Cheers, Midori

[Turnipgirl in reply to Midori]

That's it isn't it when they make those kind of comments they aren't thinking how they can hurt.

[Downinil]

This is why I try to avoid telling people much.

[Turnipgirl in reply to Downinil]

Thing is you don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't want to!

[secrets22 in reply to Turnipgirl]

Correct.