Given responses, I am careful to write

[Roukaya]

Given the few responses, I can see I come across as a repetitive and boring .Following the advice of the waiting game, I have started looking for volunteering roles by which I can apply my current skills .

I have tried for six years, to find full time work so I will change my approach and try to find a voluntary placement to work twice a week.

This way , by showing a willingness to help those in need, I am prepared to work for a charity on a part time basis and seek full time employment.

I do not wish to repeat myself as I have my Mother going next week and due to her tiredness , she takes her worries out on me

[Hidden]

Hi Roukaya

It's kind of you but I really can't take credit for giving any particular advice as we have all in turn for many years tried to help you when you reached out, which is what this site is for.

Some of us also know you from PWB. I'm sure I can say for others that we have felt for you as you have described the situation you are in and you have had many kind replies from others.

I don't find you repetitive and boring! I see you as somewhat stuck, but today you have been receptive to an idea, it's not a new idea as many have suggested the same in your previous posts.

This is progress Roukaya and I sense a change in your mindset and a willingness to open up to new possibilities and I like your plan for the future.

Your mother sounds controlling, like mine was, and it's not easy for the 'children' no matter what age to create their own lives, we suffer from lack of confidence and self esteem. It's all too easy remaining stuck for fear of doing the wrong thing etc.

So well done and good luck with your future plans!

[Roukaya in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind words of understanding. It is insightful that finally I have a new awareness of my current situation.

An agency contacted me last week and was horrified I have been out of work for six years .

So finally, I have to bridge the gap and turn over a new leaf with a different approach.

Ideally I would like to work and earn a salary but I have to commit to a part time voluntary placement in the advice sector to build up my self esteem and self confidence .

I hope you are keeping well and I will keep on trying hopefully I believe the right job will come at the right time

[gajh]

That is wonderful that you have opened yourself up for a volunteer position. It is so great that you want to work for a charity and help those in need.

[Hidden in reply to gajh]

Here here!

[Roukaya in reply to gajh]

Thanks for reply and encouragement

[Beevee]

Hi. Curious to know why you assume yourself to be boring and repetitive based on a lack of response? There are many posters here and very easy to miss one. Regular responders are spread thinly and may be occupied with other things. The glass is half full ❤️

[Roukaya in reply to Beevee]

Good morning

I hope you are well.

How are you ?

I can only assume I am boring and repetitive because I seem to talk about the same conversation .

[Beevee in reply to Roukaya]

I am very well, thank you! I think your perception of yourself is harsh.

We all repeat ourselves. I bet that most people will think they are boring. It doesn't matter what other people may think about you because that is none of your business.

You are who you are. Don't change to suit other perceptions, otherwise you just go round in ever decreasing circles.

I'm British and all we ever talk about is the weather ☔️🌧🌦🌤⛅️🌞 or how the evenings are getting lighter or darker earlier! I wouldn't mind but it happens every year so it's not exactly big news!

Best wishes ❤️

[Rosepetal60]

Hello Roukaya, this is a good idea of yours. I’m sure the charity’s will be glad of your offer. Gosh it’s ages since we last chatted. I pop in from time to time but not a regular as I’m short on energy and the list of things to do gets longer every day, or so it seems. My mother liked to pour her troubles on to me too! I wish you well in achieving your goal. Take care

[Turnipgirl in reply to Rosepetal60]

My mother is obsessed about me going to visit and has tried to lay on guilt trips to get me to cave in but all I did was laugh!

Point is theres nothing she can do except whine and complain as she can't come out to get me and physically force me there can she?

[Roukaya in reply to Rosepetal60]

Thank you

[hypercat54]

Wow Roukaya you have taken something on board at last! Now you have opened yourself to different options don't close the door again please.

Change can only occur when you are open to it. Without being willing to change then nothing will.

Well done. x

[Roukaya in reply to hypercat54]

Good morning

I hope you are well .

Over the years you have tried to be helpful and offer well intentioned advice .

After trying for six years , I realise the necessity of working on a part time basis for a volunteer role within a charity sector by which I can apply my current skills set .

[Turnipgirl]

That will be great taking on a voluntary role and keeping yourself stimulated!

It was back in the May of 2019 when I got ordered by my controlling parents to stay at a job where I wasn't happy and I had stood up to them and I'm glad I did as well!

[Roukaya in reply to Turnipgirl]

I expect you have a paid role .

[Turnipgirl in reply to Roukaya]

I used to volunteer many years ago in a charity shop and found it rewarding!

[Bekindtoyou]

Caring for a family member can be very draining indeed and you may find you need a day or two to rest. Finding a job when you are unemployed is very hard indeed so I like your response- charity work - it's a good stepping stone and is likely to get you noticed more on job applications. I wish you well.

[Roukaya in reply to Bekindtoyou]

I hope you are well .

I think after trying for six years I became incredibly sad over lack of success .

My mental health is no longer the same and this is why I decided to opt for a part time charity role until a legal practice would be willing to offer a role which would offer the experience.

It is incredibly hard to keep trying .

How are you managing?

[MaggieSylvie]

That's a great move, Roukaya. I'm sure it will have rewards that you haven't dreamt of. We are all well aware what you have been going through over the years, and hopefully, this will bring about a "shift" - something that I feel you badly need.🤗