because it’s hard to share my inner self, to explain how my heart aches and I don’t know why and it feels so vulnerable. Because maybe people wont get me and think how strange she is. And because I don’t know what it is that I need. Maybe all I need is to believe I am enough and am doing all the best I can. Only how do I truly believe; maybe it’s to be believed at another time. Maybe now I am not enough awake.
Agony is here with me right now. I worry so. I’m unsettled. Overwhelmed. Exhausted. Hurt. I keep making the same mistakes. I experience a fight with an unquiet mind in which I can picture its noise flowing down a river but it always comes back to me.
Like glass, life is breakable. And the beauty in life I find it hurts now. Feeling I am breaking apart emotionally mentally physically spiritually.
I think of an animal that wants to find the shelter of bushes to crawl under to die in to get to peace.
Thanks to whoever reads and does not judge me.