Am I overreacting? I need your opinion

[punkster]

I was at work yesterday and one of my coworkers became visibly sick as the day went on. I work in a large room and there were six of us in the room. There are no dividers or cubicles to separate us. My coworker began coughing every 30 seconds and I told her I thought she was sick, hinting that she might want to go home or put a mask on. She just shrugged and said "so what, I just have a sore throat but otherwise I feel fine". She has never had COVID and has no regard for the disease. She is also about 20 years younger than me, so that has affected her attitude toward the disease. I realize I should have been more direct and ask her to put a mask on, but I didn't want to be so bold. I ended up taking a half day off because I didn't want to sit next to her with her coughing all over me. I think that it is VERY rude for someone to stay at work when they are sick, especially when they are coughing all over the place and have a sore throat. Am I overreacting?

[GlowingDarkly]

Workplace illness, I think, is a tricky topic because there are so many perspectives you can have on it.

Firstly, no, I do not think you are overreacting from your vantage point. You don’t want to get sick. Your co-worker obviously is young and either oblivious to or doesn’t care how illness can affect others differently. So from that point of view, I think what your feelings are rational.

However, there is also the other side of the coin. Perhaps she has already used up her sick time or wants to keep it in reserve for a “true emergency”. Perhaps she has other reasons she wants to be at work rather than at home. Perhaps her own work ethic has been constructed around the classic: “if able to get out of bed, you can get to work” mentality. I’ve known a good number of folks like that (my father, before he retired, was one of them). So I think her reasons for trying to stay at work could be also very rational. But I will also stipulate that in my own world view, if I am sick to the point of having a soar throat and a lot of “contagious symptoms” I will happily call in sick (or see if i can work from home).

It is my belief that the real target for your frustrations may not be your co-worker, but your place of work. Especially since COVID, I would think that more people would be sensitive to workplace illness, because if one employee is sick and spreads it, that obviously can effect overall productivity. So to have an “open office” or to not have any sort of sensible dividers seems… fool hearty.

Now all that said, would it have been possible to approach your manager about your co-worker’s illness and see if they could step in and suggest that they take the half-day instead of you having to use your hours on that? I do find it unfair you had to use your own resources to effectively allow someone else to do as they pleased.

[punkster in reply to GlowingDarkly]

I appreciate so much your balanced reply. You hit the nail on the head when you pointed out that her youth makes her unable to see how illness might affect others. As far as approaching my manager, he is offsite and also has no regard for Covid. My coworker would much rather be at home and takes time off all the time when she’s not ill. As far as modifying our office goes, we discussed this during the height of Covid but we came to the conclusion that it would be expensive and impractical.

[Agora1]

punkster, you are certainly not over reacting in this situation. No one is immuned in

getting Covid no matter how much protection we may take. But for someone to

blatantly feel sick and not care about others doesn't sit well in my book. I hope

you will be okay. Keep us updated xx

[MadBunny]

Personally , I don't think you are overreacting. Covid is very much still here. And even if its only a cold, it can still be unpleasant if you catch it. I think you came across as very tactful and polite in the way you spoke to her , although from her reply I'd guess she probably wouldn't wear a mask if you asked her to.

Of course, there might have been a reason why she couldn't go home and take time off as Glowingdarkly says.

I feel it's only polite to be careful round others if you have a cold/ cough. There was a guy opposite me on the train last Friday who was coughing like mad and made no attempt to cover his mouth. I had to get up and move. There was another on the bus this week sneezing everywhere🙄

Sadly people can be inconsiderate about these things.

[IncognitoC]

I agree with everyone else that you are certainly not over reacting about this situation.

I don’t know what the company policy is for sickness at the place where you work but I know currently in the uk having Covid does not require you to be sent home sick, that said I think you are correct and your co worker should have put a mask on for others in the workplace.

[litethatnevergoesout]

you’re absolutely not overreacting

[Agora1]

Hi hypercat54, great advice since we all must protect ourselves, the answer is for

us to wear a mask and wash hands frequently. xx

[CLB1125]

I don’t think so. With covid looming over our heads we need to vigilant with our health. You may want to consider wearing a mask yourself.

[punkster in reply to CLB1125]

Yes I will!

[LifeIsThePitts]

Totally NOT OVERREACTING!!! I wear a 😷 at work everyday and refuse to take it off. I value my life and health. My 🧠 brain is already riddled with depression and anxiety and ADHD and PTSD, I do not need Long covid to destroy it even further.

You are absolutely in the right.

I'm going through perimenopause right now and it's disrupted EVERY SINGLE ASPECT of my mental health making it WORSE on every level.

How did you cope... it's been 3 yrs and my cycles are far from predictable. It's crazy...

[punkster in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

You can be peri menopausal up to 10 years before menopause ☹️. I guess you cope one day at a time. Learning to meditate helped. I also started taking piano lessons. Therapy helped. Medication helped for a time, but in the end I had to stop taking it due to side effects. Exercise helps. Any kind of self care helps, as does helping others. It can be a bumpy journey. I guess we have to hold on and continue living our lives.

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to punkster]

I can't believe how long this transition takes and that NO ONE warns you about it AND that the lack of women's care in healthcare is STILL massively underfunded and unrecognized.

If women would unify, we'd effectively put men out of control because women are 51.1% of the US population. Yet we cannot even get the wage gap closed 😔

[punkster in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

I’m with you in that I think if women had been in medicine as long as men had that we might have a lot more treatments for our symptoms. I do, however, think a lot of men care, as they’ve had to live through it with their wives. It just hasn’t been at the forefront of their minds because they are male, and after all “it’s a natural transition and part is a women’s life”.

[SallyO420]

I would suggest you go to your boss in the future and ask him to tell the employee to put on a mask so his employees don't all get sick. Fair request.

[punkster]

I’m so sorry you had to drag yourself into work sick. At my work we have an “illness bank” and time keeps accruing indefinitely if you don’t use it. On Monday I will wear a mask if she is still sick, as some people can have Covid and it looks like a cold. I doubt she’ll test herself.

[punkster]

I can try to do that but he doesn’t have any regard for Covid either.

[Midori]

No, I don't think you are overreacting. it isn't good to bring your various lurgies into the workplace.

Cheers, Midori

[Swilly97]

I would do the exact same thing you did. I don't think you're overreacting. How you feel is completely understandable. I really dislike it when people are irresponsible with their germs.

[Yumz199725]

Your definitely not overacting! , so many people are vulnerable and this is so rude and disrespectful to every other person.