awake

[6236]

it’s 4:00 am in Georgia and I am wide awake with a thousand things running through my mind. I don’t mean to complain but I really don’t have anyone that will listen. The medicine that I am taking helps but there is still depression and anxiety, will it ever go away? I feel that I am worthless and useless and I feel that myself and everyone around me would be better off if I just died. I have a lot of issues going on right now including financial problems that I created by trying to help my kids and grandkids and I have restless leg syndrome which I have had all my life. It has been controlled using medication but now it is getting worse due to the medication I’ve been taking for 20 years will at some point in time will actually start making the symptoms worse so I’m going to have to come off of it and start on a different medication. These two things are causing a lot of anxiety and really is getting me down. Frankly if it wasn’t for my grandkids I wouldn’t go on. I’m 63 and you would think that by this time in life it would be better but all I can see is it’s getting worse. It would be so nice to just have someone in my life that really cared and tried to help but I don’t have that support. I just keep my feelings to myself and try to hold on to my faith but even that is getting harder to do. I see my psychiatrist next week and I know he wants me to do therapy but I’ve done it before and it doesn’t help. I’m sorry I feel like I am just whining and complaining so please forgive me and I will shut up.

[Stippler]

Welcome to the group. You have no need to apologize as there are many people here who experience similar things. It is good you are reaching out. I am holding you in Healing Light.

[6236 in reply to Stippler]

Thank you. But I am just so tired of this thing called life.

[Stippler in reply to 6236]

I hear you. Do you like reading books?

[6236]

I use to read all the time but I don’t find any joy in it anymore

[brendonkellyrox]

please dont die life is worth living you said somthing about faith keep praying listen depprestion anxiety suicidal thought i go through those every night but i keep going for people like you on here to help its hard i know but please no suicide that breaks my heart when i hear people say that if you are strugling you can always reach out to me or anyone else on here we will win this fight together all of us💙

[6236]

thank you Brendon. I am trying to keep those thoughts away it’s just that sometimes life gets rough. I tried to commit suicide a few years back and that’s when they put me on stronger medication which helped for a time but eventually started to become ineffective. I am with a new psychiatrist who really seems to want to help. I have an appointment Tuesday to discuss what is going on. Again thank you and hang in there we can help each other!