Feeling really down today, for no apparent reason, although that's not strictly true, I just feel totally overwhelmed with the amount of things i need to do, some things are manual and to many things are clerical, and i can't get my head around any of it in this instance.
Usually i can snap out of it, but today i cant, i feel enveloped in a quicksand that is pulling me down and i dont have the wherewithal to clamber out of the mire.
I desperately miss my David who was my right-hand man, who wouldn't let things wear me down, he rescued me from all life's pitfalls, and since being alone i miss those days much more than i could say. Yes i have many friends, but its not the same, and really, to be honest, many are just acquaintances, and we become very good actors, purporting that all is fine in our problematic world.
I go out socially very often, but its an effort to stay upbeat and entertaining , something that's kind of expected of me, because i was always known as a party animal, but today i would much rather stay at home with my pupsters where i feel safe.
Coming home from an evening out is bittersweet, for once i open my door ,its then i realise i am totally on my own.
My biggest failing is that i am far to sensitive, I hurt easily, and a misspent word can hurt me to the quick , and i retreat like a wounded animal.
The human condition is one of many parts and we struggle to fit those conditions in, human frailties are not a weakness, its because we are all totally different.
People might say, find your niche, but if that niche is no more, where do we go.?
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I got extremely frustrated and fed up yesterday over a booked appointment in Newport that went wrong and ended up coming home early to calm down and cancelled the booked swimming session as well!
After the booked interview didn't happen I went across the road to Tredegar House and had a nice tranquil walk round the parklands there which I found helpful!
Today I am fine and feeling a lot better and I will see them at swimming at 3pm as booked!
Swimming were nice when I rang to cancel and apologise and said how we all get times when we feel angry and frustrated over things and hope to see me this afternoon at 3pm!
Hello my dear friend I am exactly the same and we talked about this before, even said too sensitive for here slights of critism hit hard, unfortunately in life there's always going to be the not so sensitive ones that I feel often take pleasure in upsetting the likes of us, maby some past trauma had a nock on effect were they were treat nasty, they say we're products of our childhood, I feel.same also in it's a effort to go out socialising it's all couples at family get togethers,and coming home to a quite empty house can be grim, my DIY is getting harder as i approach 6o 6 months time, ive lost my regular gas engineer plumber, ive been without radiators upstairs winter, who do i trust workmen like to rip ladies on there own off, luckily i have a regular builder friend from my previous nebours, he's coming Feb, I'm stuck on breaking a concrete hearth up, lol you know me, and the hall laminate floor awaits me I'll say I'll start it down it weekend but when it comes ill be making excuses, there's often a sadness too when i sit in my lovely garden alone just me and pixie, but I'm usually busy cutting back or designing something gardening sure is my therapy I'm happy to do that alone, I just bought a cosy throw for chilly summer eves I'll snuggle up with that and pixiebob, I believe in fate and when times right our soul mates will come along, you can luv again I know you don't plan to but who knows when cupids arrow will strike when you least expect it, here's the swans I just took in park there a happy couple with baby grown up nearly, there's a lovely swan lost its partner they have one for life it plods on mam says lonely swan maby it will get a mate, one tried to mate it it didn't want him we managed to save it from the fight that brewed, it swims in the lake with others near many swan family's and ducks geese it's alone but not as you say is the case with you, I'm lucky I have my mam, a old friend came this morning as he was passing he offered to help with one job I said no my builder is doing it I'm.sure your same you pref not to put on others, my mam can only help so much these days she has arthritis and trouble bending down, hope the photo brings a smile, this time of year is particularly grim on getting tasks done but i feel spring in the air some days, hugs and 💛to you as always 🤗💖✨🐝💙😸I don't want to live passed 8o it be even harder then ☹️
have to say Mandy, you are very productive and always on the go with one project or another, and i know you enjoy a challenge and you get on with it.xx
I hope you can find something to lift you up today. Maybe a favorite song. This group is a good place to read what others are dealing with to know that you are not the only one. I also don't know my purpose for this life. Why am I here? What for? Someone please tell me. Maybe it's so we can support each other in our mental illnesses through this online group. I hope you can find peace today.
losing someone like that (a best friend) is a devastating thing. I know that he will always be on your mind and close to you. I believe he is now your guardian angel and will keep you safe. Sometimes when suffering from depression and anxiety we can't (literally can't move or get out of bed some days) even function some days. It's not easy losing somebody your close to but over time you will feel that he is watching over you and will come to some peace with it.
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Being alone
I am hurt and alone. 
just want to know I’m okay and not alone 
How to deal with being alone?
I just need to know I'm not alone
