Triggering situation

[Jennblank7734]

My current situation is triggering memories from my childhood. I was already examining myself in order to gain an understanding of why I'm so empathetic.

I've honestly been through a lot.

My father was abusive.

I watched him die when I was 5.

My step-father was abusive. He died in May.

Jason was beyond abusive. Wow. I have only talked to his niece a couple times since he died. I let her know I'm suffering. My sons won't talk to me. I have decided to be public about my mental health journey. She told me to not drag his name through the mud. After the things she has said about her past and being quite proud of her growth. I muted her.

I'm trying so hard to put an effort into documenting this so my sons will have an idea.

Their father was very abusive.

I contacted the first guy I really had feelings for. I was talking to a friend and started remembering shit like him pushing a loaded shotgun at me and telling me to kill myself. He cheated on me multiple times. Unfortunately he hadn't changed and kept asking for inappropriate pictures and to meet up. I said no, he's now married and has young kids. Also, unfortunately, he said all of these things on an app that he shares with his wife. She read all of it before he got home from work. Wasn't my intention to cause problems.

It gets overwhelming to think about.

[Marysblue]

I had a lot of problems in past. I'll try to stay more in the present moment to avoid thinking about them and getting depressed. Try telling yourself I'm not going to go there. At some point you realize going there is going to make you depressed.