Weird day

[TailWags]

My mom is in a transitional care place after a fall. She seems quiet and sad to me. I think she is deciding it is time to go. My aunt in a different state is in the ICU at a hospital. They arent sure if she will survive. The last several weeks have been so hard. Today i just feel somber and kind of numb. Mostly lost. I dont understand what i am feeling. I feel the angst of anxiety is lurking just below the surface, poking through now and then. It has fially eased up after a couple nsty weeks. I am trying to stay in the present and not get too whacked out about what might happen. I know the end result. I just dont know the details and timing. I admire my mom so mch. She is one tough cookie. Wish i had her strength, classiness and social graces. She will do anything for her family. She misses dad terribly. I am rambling. I want to get a good night sleep. But somehow going to sleep seems frightening. I am babblng. Ths doesnt mdake mucch bb;h sense. Dont relly expect anyone to read this. But if you o and have any insites into what is going o with e,fee free to let me know. Blah blah blah

[car67]

Hi

I was quite sad to read your message , sometimes life can be tough but this toughness then makes us strong? So people keep telling me! I feel your pain , it’s hard and I’m sorry you’re going through this, but writing it down probably felt like your journaling so maybe that helped ? I lost my mum this year and my dad 2020, I can say the dates and then stop at that , I have lots to journal about. I’m great at giving advice just not good at taking my own! But then I look around the world , there is so much destruction going on and innocent people dying all over the world , so I am grateful that I am alive and I try to invest my energy in helping the less fortunate . I hope everything work outs for you , all the best for 2024. Start the year with a smile 👍

[TailWags in reply to car67]

Ugh, i just wrote out a detailed reply and it just went away. Not sure what i do but it happens once in a while. Very disheartening.Anyhow, i had started out by saying i just read yesterday that on dec 31st just before midnight, raise your left leg. That way you will start off the new year on the right foot.

I lost my dad in 2020 also. I am disgusted and depressed by all the pointless violencce and hate in the world. I try to ease that pain by trying to convince myself life is cheap. Look at all the proof. Then i think how blessed i was to have such wonderful parents for so long. And how much my mom loves me and says, " oh honey" when i hug her. No one loves me like that. But loosing your parents is the way the system was designed. But it hurts so much. My brain goes back and forth and in circles. Not getting anywhere. I better post befor this one goes away too.

[LadyZen]

You sound a bit in shock. I hope you were able to get some rest.

[car67]

so deft tom just before midnight (if I stay awake long enough) I will raise my left leg lol 😂 and keep you updated on how my year goes🤞😳🎉🎉🎉🎉