I want to feel positive going into the new year. I’ve made so much progress the last 6 months since I’ve taken a step back from nights out and drinking but I got drunk the other day and feel like I’ve ruined it all. And last year I went into the new year in the worst place mentally and now it’s happening again and it’s really making me sad to think. I just miss feeling happy and being ok. I kind of forgotten what it really feels like to go to bed and not feel ugly or fat or like a bad person. I was in therapy for months and it did help but I can’t afford it anymore so I’ve slumped again.
And now I know I’m going to put so much pressure on myself to make sure that 2024 is better that I make no mistakes and that I am happy when I don’t know how attainable that is for me. I constantly fuck up but I can’t go through another year unhappy.
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Sandpiper14
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I always find this time of year tough, I never feel like there’s any point to trying to start afresh in the new year, it’s tough with how dark it is and I often find I don’t go out except when I have to for work or shopping, I’ve fallen into this trap again this year but I’m forcing myself to get into a hobby or an activity and give myself something to focus on, but not throw myself in too much so I can recharge my batteries in between
A night of drinking after a break from it isn't anything to punish yourself for. You haven't ruined anything and you shouldn't feel like you failed some kind of test.
Being "Happy" is a relative term and it doesn't have to have stipulations attached for you to BE happy.
I've found that YouTube is a great therapist. I've learned so much about my relationship with anxiety and depression from listening to podcasts from teachers like Dennis Simsek the anxiety guy and right now I'm listening to Tara brachs audiobook "radical acceptance". I put the link below 👇 if you're interested.
Acceptance is the Path I've chosen to realign my personal growth trajectory. I cannot change those around me. I can change ME. Shifting my focus from outside influences to myself and making the changes happen from within me have made my journey through Life more tolerable.
Although I am struggling through an unprecedented transition of loss right now that has really shaken up my world and Reality, I know that the grief I'm going through will eventually retreat. Learning to be compassionate to myself like I would be to a friend has helped tremendously. Treat yourself like you would if your best friend was hurting and give yourself the loving advice and empathy you would give her in the same situation.
This article on radical acceptance popped into my feed this morning like the universe was reinforcing my lesson. Thought I'd share it because it directly names Tara brachs book too! Sometimes the universe responds in mysterious and amazing ways....and I'm definitely in need of a sledgehammer type approach sometimes 🤭🙄🤪😆
Thank you, kind sir. I'm grieving the loss of my first dog and have found I'm spiraling into a well known and frequently visited place of darkness. Just trying to survive the rest of the holiday season with frayed nerves and raging emotions.
Oh that’s tuff stuff with loved ones. Dreading the day my old timer goes. All we can do, although with what ails us can be difficult, is to focus on all the love they gave us. I’m pretty sure I’ll get another dog right away to help with my sadness.
Gracie is the only one left. Smokey and Haven are my guardian Angels 😇 😇 🐶 🐶 now and were siblings from separate litters, same parents. Smokey was my "Once In A Lifetime Dog"...I don't think my heart will ever heal 💔
Could you afford having one appointment with your therapist for a tune up? I was in therapy for over three years and haven't seen my therapist for about four months. I texted her and told her that when I get anxious, I hear her in my head. She told me that I probably only need appointments for "tune ups" now. When you go for your appointment ask for some handouts so that you can take them home and remind yourself of what your therapist told you
Ok....there are several things that need to be addressed....
1st and foremost having a relapse.....especially with alcohol....is not uncommon....I don't know how many times this has happened in the last 6 months....but if this was the only time that's pretty good sounds to me.
The 2nd thing is the depression...just remember that it's okay to not be ok...and the things you say to yourself aren't true....just be genuine...to yourself and others....and the right people will be a part of your journey. it's okay to not be ok....it's ok to not be yourself....it's ok to have doubts....it is not ok to stay there....you can do this.
3) Journaling has helped me on my journey quite a bit...Helps me get my feelings somewhere other than my head. I can then go back and reflect and readdress issues with how i dealt with them.
4) Make sure that the pressure you're putting on yourself is realistic....research smart goals....you can do this....believe in yourself....have hope...
The Key to all of this is to continue to be the best you....to put forth the effort to get where you want to be.....realize that setbacks....are not failures....they are lessons....learn from them and move on. Don't hang out and live with the setbacks. the only true failure is when 1 completely quits after a setback
Thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me! I really appreciate it.
Yeah and putting it like that, one set back isn’t the end of the world. I put too much pressure on myself I know that. I like speaking on here because I know others relate, I wish I was brave enough to speak about it with my friends but I feel like I’m always so hopeless and I unfortunately my therapist told me I have a tendency to over care about what others think and how they perceive me
I’m starting a 21 day journaling challenge in the new year so that should be good. I want to keep showing up for me and not let this get in my way!
You will have people and situations that will try and move you 'off your square' just be strong and fight. Keep being yourself and the right people will support you
New years is a good time to change a leaf! New chapter and all that!
I for one have felt a new year starts the very next day. Then the next day is my new year and…..so on. It helps me to not be constrained to an arbitrary date, so if I do slip up I have a new day, week, month, year and lifetime to do and be better.
A new day! How great! I’m so absorbed in the past sometimes I don’t really know why! The last two years have been lost on me. Not not more though hopefully!
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