Rock bottom: just finished lifting my... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Rock bottom

allofatremor profile image
10 Replies

just finished lifting my husband out of bed and changing his bedding and washing him and fresh dress him and reconnect a sheath to a urine bag.i get him back in bed and give him his meds he has late stage Parkinson’s Disease.

he can’t control his bladder and the sheaths he is provided with keep falling off because with Parkinson’s he can’t keep still.

That’s the start of my day everyday and throughout the day changing bedding , clothes and washing him.

the washer and dryer are constantly on the go I just go from one job to another it’s endless tiresome and mundane.

I have no life, no family, no friends, and no hood neighbours.

how do we keep on going? Why do we keep on going? What for? When will this end, I’m going to bed now it’s 7am, I hope I sleep.

Merry Christmas to all especially the people who are in similar situations, god bless you xxx

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allofatremor profile image
allofatremor
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10 Replies
Stippler profile image
Stippler

I am sorry you are going through this. I will be holding you in prayer. Sending peace. 🙏🙏🙏

Xene profile image
Xene

Oh my word, my heart goes out to you. I can relate as my relatives husband has severe Alzheimer’s and she’s in the same boat as you and she’s not healthy herself. I hope you manage to get some sleep and have the best Christmas you’re able to under the circumstances.

Hello thank you for your Xmas wishes, I hope you can find some quite moments of reprieve from your devoted work caring for your husband, you know if this is too much you can seek help maby consider a care home he will need a nursing home they are better looked after in them my friends dad has Parkinson's it was too much for her family in the end you need to think about your own self care too this could effect you badly as it's doing already and in the long run it be kinder for both of you to get outside help, you could also get help I'm sure respite to give yourself a break,please take care of yourself too sending a hug 🤗💛

CLB1125 profile image
CLB1125

Have you checked in with the Parkinson’s foundation to see if they might have a solution for you? Just a suggestion. That’s a tiring task for sure. I hope you can get rest. I don’t know what programs you have there but in the us we have respite care and hospice care. Respite care they come in and take over for a little while so you can do whatever you need to do just to give the caregiver a break and hospice is for helping with care. I guess we all just do what we have to. It’s hard, but we are here for you to say whatever you need to. I am with you in spirit. ❤️

allofatremor profile image
allofatremor in reply to CLB1125

thank you so much xxx

Cb1963 profile image
Cb1963

Well I wish a happy Christmas 🎄, I'm so sorry your having so many things going on, 😔 have you asked for outside help?You can't continue to function like this, you will end up being extremely poorly yourself, you need to ask for respite,and get your husband put into a care home or something similar to give you a break, if things are getting to bad you need to explain to your doctors you are on the end of a nervous breakdown

My father had parkinson's and things got so bad at home with falls etc, he eventually had to go into a home, even me couldn't lift him up , and obviously he was doubly incontinent, you can't continue like this, get help now, you will end up physically ill and mentally drained if not already, don't feel guilty, if your husband end's up in a care home as my mum felt like my dad of 50 odd years of marriage had come to a sudden end, she actually started to resent him, it wasn't nice watching the health of my dad fall apart while my mum struggled,there's no

" winner's "in this horrible condition, you need as much help as possible 🙏

allofatremor profile image
allofatremor in reply to Cb1963

Thank you for listening so grateful for your advice xxx

CLB1125 profile image
CLB1125 in reply to allofatremor

Cb1963is right. We know you love him and he knows it too. But it sounds like his level of care is more than one person can provide. If he were in a home you could spend quality time just sitting with him and not killing yourself trying to care for him. There’s no shame in admitting you need help. Hugs

Cb1963 profile image
Cb1963 in reply to allofatremor

I understand totally where you're coming from, I bet your exhausted, please, please seek advice, when husband and wife are together for a lifetime, roles can change, and sadly health can change either of your predicaments, my mum and dad were married for best part of 55 years, but my dad's health started to decline, my mum coped at the beginning, but eventually it all became to much for her. My dad had the occasional day in care homes or weekends, but really it was putting the inevitable off, things were getting to much, the system puts to much upon people like yourself until you break, don't let it come to this, I bet you feel like you've gone to bed as a zombie, and I HEAR YOU,this is call for help, I bet you've cried, emotionally because of your husbands health, and the thought he's no longer the man you can see, I've seen it myself, you are becoming a nurse, and a carer, and your heart must be breaking 😢, care homes are the places for your husband, my mum was in two places when my dad had to go into a care home, but my dad's health came first, and this is what you need to do, remember it's YOUR HEALTH as well, , I'm more than happy to chat anytime if you don't have much friends or family, even if it's about the good old British weather 🤗, I can talk about anything you like if it gives you a break and takes your mind away from things 😇

catsasleep profile image
catsasleep

I hope you managed to get some good time to reflect over Christmas? I have total admiration for anyone who cares for others health, paid or otherwise! It is not just physically but emotionally exhausting, please heed what everyone else said and reach out for help and support, it’s not an admission of defeat but you also have to look after yourself

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