Fidgeting

[Thaikun]

It took me a life to do this. To write to anyone, everyone ,and this is because I have no one to talk to, but also because I've decided to live and live well. Unbelievably I'm an influencer and have no problem speaking in public but anxiety in my offline life it's taking a toll on me, my auto-diagnose depression it's getting worse till the point I disconnect from the present moment. My husband doesn't believe in such a thing like mental health but I know I need help I don't talk to anybody about this cause my reputation could suffer from it. Well , here I'm hope to learn how to cope with the monster. Thank you 🙏🏻

[Dolphin14]

Welcome to the community. This is a very supportive group. We understand what you are going through

I'm glad you found the site

🐬

[CL3V3R-G1RL]

Welcome to the forum 😄

It's a shame that there are still a lot of folks that think mental health or mental issues are a more modern concept. That these problems didn't exist in the past. But an actuality they have always been with us. It's just that nobody talked about it. Like here in the US. Especially during my grandparents days, they handled it by drinking. Being closet alcoholics. That's how they got through their depression or anxiety. My grandmother locked herself away in her bedroom until it was close enough to leave to go pick up my grandfather from work. Except she would leave about 2 hours in advance. And she would sit for 2 hours in a hot car crocheting away. Because she couldn't handle being at home with her children. I don't think she ever wanted to be a mother. But at that time it was expected of her to have children because that's something you should do as a woman. Or at least that's what society believed a woman should do. And for men they were taught to be strong and silent. You didn't talk about your feelings. You didn't express worry. In fact, the only feeling you're allowed to show is anger because that's a man emotion. And at a certain age as a man you were expected to get married and start a family because that's what men were supposed to do at around that time. My grandfather, yes, did wanted a child. But he only really wanted one kid. But since him and his wife never talked they ended up having four. And that was quite a strain on both of them.

And I think the reason why your anxiety and your depression is getting the better of you is because you carry the sense of shame. Because you feel this will ruin your reputation. And that's another burden to carry. To wear a mask of "everything is fine". That is a lot of weight to carry. And especially since you are, I guess kind of a big deal online. You to keep that mask on for your followers. Which is another burden. There's no time for yourself.

Here you can be the real you. Talk about your feelings and there will be no judgement. You are not alone in this

Wishing you healing and calmness 🫂❤️

[designguy]

Hello and welcome, it takes a lot of courage to open up and be vulnerable but it's an important step in healing and you did it and it gets easier the more you do it, so good for you.