It feels so much like the end.

[AnIslandOfPeace]

I've gotten to this level where I believe that there's no getting better. I'm sorry if this might trigger you but really, I need to talk right now. I need to talk about how much of a failure I am and how nothing is yielding good; how nothing will ever yield good. I've given up on everything.. except my family. Even when it feels like there's absolutely nothing to live for, the tiniest thing like hearing their voice from afar still keeps me here. But you see, even though I'm here, it feels like I'm not. It feels like I'm a walking dead or something. I'm confused by life right now and this shit, whatever it is; depression or whatever, it has ruined me. It has ruined my everyday life, it has ruined my education, as stupid as it may sound, this stuff has ruined my health. I can't even get things done.. all my decisions are wrong. I'm really really slipping away and it's just a matter of time before my heart stops. I don't know how this may sound but honestly, I don't see a happy ending and for that, I'm sorry.

[kleelibby]

Oh my dear, things really suck right now and I get how you feel. I’ve tried to keep depression and anxiety in check, but COVID etc has made it almost impossible. We’re surrounded by people who are also bumming and it’s hard to find the light. Would medication help? Sending 🙏🏼

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to kleelibby]

It doesn't look like standard medical care is available here. And if it is, it'll be really really expensive.

[kleelibby in reply to AnIslandOfPeace]

I’m sorry, I don’t know where you live. No medication available and/or very expensive? This group is so great with encouraging words.

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to kleelibby]

Thanks

[Agora1]

Talk to us IslandOfPeace x

Before each one of us has our hearts stop, it is time to share what we feel

and to know we are not alone. We're here to listen and to comfort each other. xx

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to Agora1]

Agora, I don't know if you get it but it doesn't even feel like me. I can't really explain how I'm feeling right now.

[Agora1 in reply to AnIslandOfPeace]

I've spent 30plus years in getting to know what you are talking about.

Only others like yourself who have gone through the many phases of Anxiety

can know. There is a derealization in who we are and where we are going.

We feel unreal as if walking in a daze, not really existing.

I went through this many years ago because of my anxiety and the fear it instilled

within me. I was afraid of everything and yet nothing. Of course there wasn't a

Pandemic going on at the time, so in some ways it was easy to believe that I would

get through this. Now, the virus is affecting everyone not only those with anxiety.

What you are feeling is unreality. If the world around us no longer seems real, then

maybe we're not either. Am I anywhere near your thoughts.

Please let me know, I want to help you because I care xx

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to Agora1]

Thank you very much.

"I was afraid of everything and yet nothing"

The accuracy in this statement is 100%

I mean, that is exactly how I am right now. But fr, these images in my head, they get realer every day.

[Agora1 in reply to AnIslandOfPeace]

Dearest IslandOfPeace, there are many people who can relate

to what you are feeling. When you feel comfortable enough to

talk out your feelings please reach out to us. Sharing with others

who feel the same pain can help you know that you are not alone.

PM others if that would help you. This is a safe site. xx

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to Agora1]

Thanks a lot Agora. God bless you too. ❤️

[Hidden]

I'm here if you want to talk. Everything my seem bad right now because you are hurting. But you are more than your pain, you can get through this. Talk to someone, go for a walk just sit outside, meditate. Have you tried ganja that works well for me most days. But most of all remember you are amazing and deserve happiness.

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to Hidden]

Thanks a lot. But if only talking was easy.

[Hidden in reply to AnIslandOfPeace]

Ik it's not easy, but just message me and I promise I'm a good listener. If you don't that's ok just know you're amazing and deserve happiness.

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to Hidden]

Thanks a lot for wanting to help. When I feel like I'm able to talk, I'll sure text you.

[Hidden in reply to AnIslandOfPeace]

Anytime 🖤

[GrayGoose66]

Depression is a liar. Depression will tell you that you've never done a single thing right in your life. That the world would be so much better off without you. That nothing will ever be positive, bright, happy, ever again. But it's all a lie. I am a survivor of my mother's decision to leave this world. Depression is lying and trying to convince you to give up. Don't listen to it.

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to GrayGoose66]

Looks like depression is doing a great job fr.

[WiltedFlower in reply to AnIslandOfPeace]

GrayGoose speaks the truth. Your depression doesn't define you. Grab the tiny ounce of strength you have, whether it be your family or whatever it is, and break down that wall. Its affecting you deeply, I can tell, but even if the end is taunting you, don't reach out. please hold on a bit longer. I'm here for you if you need to chat or vent or advice. i've been there before. Please stay well and try to keep yourself busy.

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to WiltedFlower]

Thanks a lot. It really is embarrassing talking about how I feel. That makes me feel worse.

[GrayGoose66 in reply to AnIslandOfPeace]

I’m so sorry. Sometimes calling it what it really is, a big lie, helps me. It makes me mad and determined not to let it beat me. The lie can’t win.

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to GrayGoose66]

I get this. Very good way to see it. 😭😭

[Hidden]

Listen, I'm very depressed right now myself. But something I have realized is that even if things are really bad,- and right now I don't have a job and I have other issues- you won't feel like this forever. It might seem like the end of the world but it's not, the world will keep on turning and God's not through with you yet!!!! A phrase that has stuck with me that I learned in therapy is depression is phasic and not basic, meaning you are going through a phase but you will come out of it. And helplessness is not hopelessness. Try to find what gives you hope or find something that makes you smile or laugh. I know you can do it.💖

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to Hidden]

Thanks a lot. God bless you.

[pink318]

“I can't really explain how I'm feeling right now.” I’m so sorry to hear this.

I also experienced this kind of feeling and it’s hard. When I was going through deep sadness, this was me. I prayed and cried. I didn’t want to talk to anyone so I wrote down my feelings in my journal. I was crying while writing and I was relieved.

Thank you for sharing. We are here for each other. I hope you will find comfort here. Whenever you are ready to talk, we are here to listen. Feel free to share anytime. Praying for you. God bless.

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to pink318]

Thanks a lot. And God bless you.

[tealgrey]

I'm in the same place you were. I've been here for a while. And I was listening to a song. After my ex cheated, and my parents abandoned me. I have severe depression. and have cut myself. I have lost myself in the process and have myself. But this song said "hold on for your life". and thats what i'm doing. Its a battle. A constant battle of life or death and im fighting to live but why? i have no reason im worthless.

[AnIslandOfPeace in reply to tealgrey]

We'll be fine, I guess. Thanks.❤️