Anxiety so bad I'm having brief hallucinations and delusional thoughts.

[Attaloss01]

They are very brief and only last a couple of minutes then I recognize they are not real but very scary. I went to the local Mental Health clinic drop in. They got me an appointment with my psychiatrist for this afternoon. Very fast! They think that too many drastic changes in too short a time have put it over the top. My Primary Doc wants me to come off my antianxiety med, although the hallucinations started a week before that, it hasn't helped. I'm already on a low dose. I want to come off it but she has only given me 5 weeks to do it, after 25 years! A benzodiazapine. My psychiatrist will give me longer I'm sure.

Divorce after 30 years, cancer, 2 strokes, my Landlord informing me they are demolishing my little house next year. Ive been gere 24 years, then going outside and seeing a bulldozer going through the forest next to my house. All this in 18 months

I'm 65. This is not easy.

Anyway, no suicidal plans or anything. Can't do that to my little grandsons. But I often feel, recently, that I'd rather be dead.

Really need support and willing to give it too! So I moved this site to my home page. I feel so anxious I want to throw up.

[Stippler]

I have been through a lot of what you are describing, and I know you are are facing some difficult times. Please try your best to give yourself a break and go easy on yourself. Give yourself time to heal, and if you can, try to avoid stressful situations because you have enough to deal with right now. I used to take benzodiazapines and getting off of them was hard, but one of the best things I have ever done. They might make several changes to your medications until they can find what works best for you specifically. Once they have found it, you will feel much better. I am schizophrenic, but have been stable for over 18 years now and I owe it all to being on the correct medications, but also never missing a dose. I am sending prayers and holding you in the light. 🙏🙏🙏

[Attaloss01 in reply to Stippler]

Thank you Stippler! I'm trying. I really don't think I can come off of 2 0. 5mg clonazepam in 5 weeks without increasing my anxiety a lot but I think my psychiatrist will give me at least another month. I was on seroquil

( quetiapine ) once. It made me very sleepy but I guess that would pass. I stopped before I could find out. That was 5 yrs ago. This is very scary for me though so I'm much more compliant.

Also on Paroxetine, wellbutrin and Busparone. I guess Ill see what he suggests tho.

Ty!

[Junella in reply to Attaloss01]

This is a lot of medication. I am trying to get off Paroxetine after 30 years. When I started it, I was told it wasn't addictive, but now they say it is one of the worst to get off of. Have gone from 20 to 15 mg thus far. In the last three years I have taken Lorazapam .05 as needed. It worked in bringing down BP spikes that I get under stress. Being afraid has been with me since birth even though I had caring parents. I can remember back to two years old and the many fears. I was very shy but was cured until my 23-year-old sister died when I was 8. I was not told why. I became fearful of dying and illness and it has never entirely gone away. My marriage has not been happy all the time as my spouse has background problems too, but I love him dearly. Now I am a senior and facing aging diseases.

I am thankful I cope much better than I did as a youth, but life is shorter now since I hit 80. In the last few years I have found great help in faith, Christian meditation, positive reading, a primarily vegan diet, and exercise. Since doing an hour three days a week at a heated indoor pool, I have strengthened my body and I know the diet has made a difference, though I like to eat and want to lose 10 lbs. I usually walk some each day varying distances. I am still working at it and shall keep going. I am praying for you.

[LoveforAll41]

Attaloss that is a tremendous amount of change! I agree with Stippler that you deserve some self-support and self-care. I hope that you can get the meds sorted out and realize/accept that it will be a hard transition phase that you can support yourself in. Are you doing cognitive therapy as well? I love therapy

[Attaloss01 in reply to LoveforAll41]

Thanks! Yes I've done CBT, Group psychotherapy and a few others. They have helped!

[Frogeyes]

Hello friend, you are not alone.

[Wakeboarder24]

You know when you’ve been through all that it would make sense that you are feeling stressed. I know it’s easier said than done, but be patient with yourself.

[Attaloss01 in reply to Wakeboarder24]

Thanks. That's always been hard but trying for sure. Thanks!!

[Wakki]

I’ve been through some major trauma too. Multiple huge life changing events that hit me over and over again. I feel what you are going through. Just take it one day at a time. You have come this far, your strong enough to keep going. Find a new hobby or activity. Its easier to work through the loss by replacing it with new. Take your grandsons on fishing trips make new memories. The past is gone now is the time to make memories that those grandsons will carry in their lifetime.

[Attaloss01 in reply to Wakki]

I SO appreciate your suggestions. Very helpful! Thanks!

[Kinlay]

That is a LOT. Be kind to yourself. I know that weaning off of benzos can be daunting - I went through it - but they can absolutely cause a lot of what you are experiencing, so you will end up feeling better when you get to the other side - which you will! I would definitely push for a lower and slower weaning off, though, because the withdrawal can be pretty rough. Hang in there! So many of us have been through similar situations, so reach out often for support.

[Attaloss01 in reply to Kinlay]

Thanks! Question. My doc, pharmacist and psychiatrist all have different weaning ideas. One says go down ½ of a 0.5mg dose a week and don't ever increase. That's one month! After 24 years!

Another says the same but over 6 weeks and reduce half tab for 2 weeks, see how you do if too overwhelming then go up ¼ tab for a week then back down and proceed like that over 6 to 10 weeks.

Suggestions? My anxiety disorder is bad!

Another says over 5 weeks no more. I am committed but not doing well r n.

[Junella in reply to Attaloss01]

My Lorazapam pills are too small to cut. Maybe the doses run in different sizes than what you take. I don't even see how I can cut it in half let alone a 1/4.

[Kinlay in reply to Junella]

Ask the pharmacy/prescriber for a pill splitter. They usually offer them free or very low cost. I couldn't cut them by hand.

[Attaloss01 in reply to Kinlay]

Thx! Yes, I have a lot of extras plusxmy doc prescribed 5 repeats. So Im taking it ¼tab less for 2 or 3 weeks ... see how I do then go down another¼ tab for 3 weeks. I was on 2.5 0 5 tabs a day. Down to 2 now and will stay there for a while. When I eventually come off I will try to decease a ¼ tab every 3 weeks and see how it goes. If I need 4 weeks I'll take it. I have enough extras from when he was overprescribing and I didn't take all of it. So I have enough soares and time to go lo and slo. Great advice! xx

[Kinlay]

Definitely the longer one if possible. In fact, assuming you are currently on one full .5, I'd ask if I can start even slower by going down to 3/4 (one half plus one quarter) for at least a month, then down to 1/2 for a month, then down to 1/4 for a month. Push for longer, lower, and slower. I did xanax way too fast years ago, and just wish I had known there was a better option. It was truly horrific. Of course, everyone is different and some people don't have a lot of trouble. Hopefully you'll be one of those! But definitely reach out and ask for a longer taper. Good luck!

[Junella in reply to Kinlay]

Yes, a friend was unable to take hers when they stopped making them after 40 years or more. Her docs tried other ones, and they were worse. It took her about 5 weeks. It was hard but was surprised she could do it at her age of 80.

[Gramas]

Maybe I missed this but why does your primary doc want you to come off your anti anxiety meds, and does your psychiatrist want you to do this as well? I would stick with whatever your psychiatrist recommends as they are the authority on the subject. It seems like this is the worst time for you to have to do this with all the stress you are going through. If they want you off this certain med can you take a different one in its place? I take Ativan and have no problems with it. Keep us up to date on how things are going.

[Attaloss01]

Thx 4 your reply. Well my psychiatrist says to stay on them for now until we see if the seroquel is going to help. So far I've only had 1 hallucination since I started them a few days ago. I guess it takes a while to have full effect. I'm on 12.5mg x2 a day. He said Depressive Psychosis. Likely temporarily. TG!!

[litethatnevergoesout]

the average mean time for withdrawal of benzodiazepine is 9.5 months