Impulsive

[Against_the_current]

Yesterday mom drank and abused us a lot, i told my friend, he told me to come to his house. I just needed support. He got really upset, took an all night walk, missed work so i said i will come but now mom apologized and i don't feel like traveling rn, my anxiety is insane and i want to rest at home. Idk how to tell him i don't want to come at Wednesday

[SoporRose]

What did you decide to do? It sounds as if your friend over-reacted (though I suppose that depends on how badly your mom abused you and how much your safety is in question) and didn't listen to what you needed. His place doesn't sound like where you need to be right now. But what do you think? What have you decided to do?

[Against_the_current in reply to SoporRose]

I told him i won't go, it's okay. But someday i will have to go

[SoporRose in reply to Against_the_current]

Why will you have to go to his place? How well do you know this person? Please don't go anywhere you might not be safe nor anywhere you can't leave easily when you want to go.

[300days]

I’m so sorry you are dealing with an abusive and alcohol affected mother. It looks like it has caused some confusion with your friend.

Your gut is telling you what is right for you. Be Frank with your friend and express gratitude for his support but note that the situation is affecting him too. There is no easy solution and you have to do what seems right.

Finally, allow yourself to separate from standard ideas of what is due from a child to a mom. Look into Ideal Parent model of therapy. You’re injured and you can start your own healing without guilt. My mom drank/abused too - it is different from a father ; it has different implications and effects because of the role of moms.

[Against_the_current in reply to 300days]

Exactly . I hate to admit it but moms drinking hits different