Frustrated....is an understatement

[No_Longer_Human]

I had nightmares, the lady searching for a job for me woke me up with q call, went to the bathroom, called to book the doctor grandpa wants, he had no availability. I called grandparents to ask if i can see another doctor. We talked till now. Now im struggling to call my GP doctor to ask for a document for xray and orthopedic. And struggling to turn on the tv because while talking with fucking grandparents i missed my comfort show that i had nightmares of ending. Yesterday some guy told me how his life was so much worse but tbh see how i struggle with family. Also i will have to go on my own for x-ray and lie mom took me. Because i don't want to burden mom and i don't want grandparents to come earlier on Friday so we do the xray.

Edit : Under-estimated. My brain laggs

[Rufus07]

I’m sorry for all of your frustration. I hope your day has gotten better🙂

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Rufus07]

Thanks

[CLB1125]

I hope you don’t need an xray for anything serious.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to CLB1125]

Both doctors declined to give me insurance for x-ray and family doesn't want to pay for it

[TangledUpIn]

I'm sorry you are going through so much - I keep hoping things will get better for you 🫠

[No_Longer_Human in reply to TangledUpIn]

They will only get worse

[Rufus07 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

I hope this isn’t the truth.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Rufus07]

Mom's getting older, grandparents getting older, dad more alienated, sis will leave the city and even now she's not texting or calling me. My mental illness is only progressing. I can't work and im getting older

[Rufus07 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

You have a lot on your plate. I hope something gives and you are doing better soon.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Rufus07]

Thank you. I just hope nothing goes wrong again. I feel hexed. I went to the supermarket and broke a shelf, i sprained my leg, the toilet got broken, grandma got sck, grandpa go drunk....

[Rufus07 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Oh dear😢. I wish I could help.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Rufus07]

I need company and understanding. Im all alone all day. Only my mom comes and drives me even more triggered. Called grandma but she scared me, she's not okay

[Rufus07 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Why does grama scare you

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Rufus07]

Because her voice was like she's dying. She raised me. I can't imagine her dying. I will go paranoid. I will think her spirit is here. And i will have nobody to talk to on the phone. And the worst - she's mom's mom. Mom would go even more insane and drinking. And i don't want to go a funeral, especially not her, especially when we're not on good terms because she doesn't understand my mental health

[Rufus07 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

Is she ill?

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Rufus07]

She said she had a coold this week but now is getting better. I pray

[Rufus07 in reply to No_Longer_Human]

That’s good that it’s just a cold and not something worse.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Rufus07]

I hope... But her voice... especially when im not okay. I shouldn't have called her. And i always update her on mom's drinking and beg for help and she will see this as a burden even though im trying to help

[Rufus07]

it’s good to keep her in the loop. Even if it’s not always good stuff.

[No_Longer_Human in reply to Rufus07]

Yeah