I just need to vent. I had been getting on really well, recovering from a bad episode of anxiety a couple of years ago, work was going really well, I was helping the projects I work on move forward, working hard, leading well, mentoring new staff, and feeling generally a lot better about my work life. My pay had lagged behind my performance for a year and a half, my manager said he would get this fixed and sort out a pay rise for me. This would have brought me into line with or above the average of the band I'm in, something that felt justified as I was often assisting others who were on gardes above mine. My manager let me know last week that he had been unable to get me a raise and that I would have to wait for the company P&P round, which typically gives 2-3% raises (no where near enough). On top of this a guy who I help a lot at work, who was the band below me, was getting the same pay as me, and has now been promoted to my grade, very likely earning more than me.
I feel totally dispondant about work now, I have no motivation, can't get myself into a good thinking space, feel like I should just sit and wait to be told what to do like everyone else. It's put me in a really bad mood, and I feel like I'm going down hill rapidly. I can hardly be bothered to get out of bed.
I would like to change companys but suffering from anxiety serveerly I feel like I can't handle the stress of the move.
I feel stuck, pissed off, and lonely.
Written by
Dell12345
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Many years ago when I was 24 I went through a similar thing myself when I had asked to get more involved in the kitchen as I worked as a catering assistant on the dishes at the time and suggested a job share with the other staff who worked on the dishwasher but the line Manager said no your job is on the dishes and that was that and like you I was devastated and it had felt like the world had ended!
Then they put a colleague in the kitchen who had only worked there a few months which had felt like a right smack in the face and that the world had ended!
What I did was took some time to calm down and think things over and thought perhaps another position would suit me better so started on a job search and eventually I succeeded and ended up with better jobs.
Nowadays I feel when they did that to me they did me a favour as all the job involved was putting pre cooked junk food in the oven rather than cooking from scratch but when that happened it had felt like the world had ended.
The chap they gave the cooks job to had ended up so fed up with them that he had walked out not long after he had the job given to him so that backfired on them miserably!
Last year I had seen the deputy manager from that job in a pub and she had some very bad news that the chap that had been given the cooks job had died from cancer and was only 41 which puts things into perspective.
I remember getting told off by the supervisor about my angry attitude over not getting the cooks job saying all it was over was I had decided that I hadn't wanted the chap to have had the job!
I went bright red when the deputy manager from that job had said that chap had died young ashamed of myself and my friend had held my hand saying that I hadn't known that was going to happen and how we all get times when we want things so badly it makes us selfish and nasty towards those who get things when we don't.
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