When the going gets tough, take care of you.

[secrets22]

When the going gets tough and you feel weary and hopeless and you see no way through the dilemma it's time to give yourself a talking to.

I have been so much on the edge recently, it's like a big dark cloud enveloping me.

People have deserted me when i had no more to give, it was all ok when i was entertaining friends constantly, but when i decided to cut back on my giving, the friends all drifted away, which is why i use the term friend guardedly as in truth the word friend is bandied about so much it has little meaning, the fact is we all have many acquaintances, but friends they are not, if you have one or two dependable's you are fortunate indeed.

Much against my better judgement i have decided to not entertain friends over Christmas and new year as i've always done, and i know it means i will be more alone, but its a decision i've made for my own peace. It has to be done.

And those days at Christmas and new year, are just days to get through.

[LadyZen]

Definitely take care of you. Having friends can be demanding. It's like any relationship. First you have to find people that share your values. Then you have to actually find ways to maintain that relationship.

So I only have one person right now that I consider a good friend. I try to meet her for lunch once in awhile and really catch up up with her by talking to her about meaningful things. We both have families, so getting together isn't easy, but I've told her I'll always be there if she needs me. She, of course, says that as well and has actually shown me that through her actios. The rest I have relegated to more of an acquaintance relationship. But that's okay.

Quality over quantity.

[Mrspjsmom]

It's hard to take care of ourselves and when we make changes the backlash amazes me. I even get it from my own family. But do what is best for you. I will probably be alone quite a bit during the holiday season too. My husband and children will be working and my best friend who used to have a New Years Eve party is too ill to do that now. Even if my husband is home during the day he's sleeping for work. So if I may I have some suggestions:On the holiday relax all day in pajamas ir comfortable lounge wear.

Reach out to your neighbors if you are close to them. My neighbor always has family over for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. When she knows I'm alone she sends her son over with dinner for me. She's an amazing cook and even sends dessert.

Stock up on candles, spa products like bubble bath, face masks and deep hair conditioner and treat yourself to a spa day.

Watch movies or binge watch a tv series you like. I lean towards comedy since laughing makes me feel better.

Most importantly spoil yourself. You deserve it.

Remember we are always here to keep you company. I'm glad you decided to put yourself first. That's a hard thing to do.

[Turnipgirl]

So at Christmas it will just be you and the dogs then?

We are planning for a quiet Christmas this year and perhaps go out on boxing day instead.

[Arymretep]

As you say it’s only another day , Xmas is so commercialised now,, we seem to have lost its true meaning , we go to Church on Xmas morning and then spend the day quietly, my friend who is on her own volunteers at the local care home and she reckons it’s the best Xmas ever as everyone is so happy to see her , she even takes her dog , a great idea for anyone wanting company.

[secrets22 in reply to Arymretep]

Yes i do believe what your friend does is commendable and a Christian thing to do.😇