the struggle bus yet again...

[mizzou7016]

Sometimes I really wish that I could turn off my emotions and feel numb....especially at work....sometimes being an empath really really stinks...

[mizzou7016]

Just struggling to understand things at work.....not dealing well with the mindset of addiction, hopelessness, and helplessness on both sides of the fence....a lot of unanswered questions in my mind.....that will probably never be answered

[Shalomseeker in reply to mizzou7016]

Support groups like 12 steps online is helpful

[mizzou7016 in reply to Shalomseeker]

I'm not having the addiction issues right now....I work in a prison and lately we have been dealing with a lot of overdoses and such...I've been a corrections officer for 26 years and this issue still bothers me pretty bad.

[Shalomseeker in reply to mizzou7016]

Hi! I’m sorry, I wasn’t referring to the addiction 12 steps but the ones that are more supportive for mental health like ACOA. Sometimes these meetings are trauma informed. If that’s not a fit for you, no worries! 👍🏻

[mizzou7016 in reply to Shalomseeker]

Sorry....I didn't think of it that way.....I will definitely check in to that....I'm always looking for ways to learn healing ways

[Hidden]

I agree. Empathy is a beautiful thing but at what cost? I have had to switch off my emotions lately with some in my world. People who don’t serve my higher good. Doesn’t mean I don’t care … just some people are unappreciative (or unreceptive) so yeah, eventually I figure “what’s the point?” The trick for me is finding when to flip that switch back on for people who do deserve my empathy. A balancing act I get tired of trying to master. I feel your struggles on this one.👍

[mizzou7016 in reply to Hidden]

I so want to be the "hard nosed" "by the book" corrections officer....but it's just not me....have been doing this for too long....cant turn off my humanity side

[Hidden in reply to mizzou7016]

That environment would be difficult. I would want to have compassion for everyone but would probably be hardened by those who continually proved unworthy. What a terrible spot to be put in on a daily basis as a career. “Guarded empathy” would probably become my norm in your work environment. It takes a strong person to do what you do and still have empathy and compassion for those behind bars giving you crap. This world needs more people like you Mizzou.

[mizzou7016 in reply to Hidden]

it's not so much that they are "unworthy"...it is more the old definition of insanity....repeating the same behavior over and over again while expecting completely different results...the facility I work at has some major major concerns right now...and you are definitely right it can be a terrible spot...but I can't look at it that way.....I have to look at it like if I can dig deep and reach 1 person....help them change even something in their life.....it's not lost...if i give up that philosophy.....my overall hope dwindles....and that's not good for me..

[Shalomseeker]

I totally get it! But when we get a little stronger and can better process and tolerate what we feel, the sensitivity can be a gift to connect with others in ways that most people can’t!

[LifeIsThePitts]

That's a burden most of us can't imagine. The responsibility you have to yourself, coworkers and inmates alike requires enormous amounts of compassion and empathy. Absorbing that level of emotion in the workplace daily would deplete me. Mizzou, it takes a very special temperament and personality to serve others in the capacity that you have dedicated your life to. You're a blessing to the establishment that you're part of...and the inmates whose lives you touch 💞

[mizzou7016 in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

But I can't help but wonder if I am doing enough...am I making a difference....lost a lot of faith in a lot of things...

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to mizzou7016]

I cannot speak for your coworkers and inmates, although I suspect they all hold you in very high regards. However, you've made a difference in my life. I can attest to that. Thank you for your empathy and understanding and respect and encouragement 🙏 you're a grounding presence on this forum for many people. For all of us, you've made a difference.It's a rough world out there and you're bombarded by a sector of society that most citizens cannot fathom. How you keep hold of your faith in life and maintain a semblance of sanity is remarkable. Just sayin, buddy 😊

[mizzou7016 in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

You don't understand the impact to me that this response has made. Sometimes I forget how much the small things matter. I struggle sometimes to see myself as others do. You put that back in front of me. Thanks

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to mizzou7016]

You're welcome 🤗 you have a heart of gold, my friend. Hope you're having a wonderful weekend 💖

[mizzou7016 in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Sometimes I struggle with this. My heart of gold has been pulverized a lot...but I keep gluing it back together and trying to give it to people

[LifeIsThePitts in reply to mizzou7016]

That's the beauty of a true survivor...beat us up emotionally, drown us in depression, cripple us with anxiety...we rise from the ashes like a Phoenix, scarred and glued together for the upteenth time but resilient and stronger at those healed places than before. I recognize that lovely trait in you. We all ride the struggle bus 🚌 from time to time... I've been on it a lot lately, too. This time I'm gonna drive the sucker instead of being just a passenger 🤭

[mizzou7016 in reply to LifeIsThePitts]

Don't know how many more times I can rise though. It is definitely taking its toll

[hanginginthere55]

Boy can I understand. I completely get where your coming from. I too am an empathetic and I also have spiritual gifts. As well as a physical illness. It can be exhausting. There is no "off" button for sensitivity. Sending hugs 🤗