painful depression

[Boston001]

Last week there was a complicated event where a family member accused me of neglecting my mother and our cat. Once again I was faced with an aggressive person who had no one to answer to, and the ability to through money at a problem to address it. They also suffer from anxiety and panic attacks but they own their business/place of work. So if they having a bad day they simply cancel their appointment or have someone else do it for them. This person is my Niece. I was always proud of them because of the difficult childhood she had, and how she turned her dream of being an artist into a thriving business. Now suddenly turn and backstab me, hurt me deeply. By asking for her help and knowledge of diabetic cats, she turned it into a drama and attacked the way I run my home where I care for my 90-year-old mother. Yes if I was wealthy like her we'd do things differently, but we are doing the best with what we have. Perhaps she is right. The bathroom is not handicapped equipped. The carpeting throughout the house is over 40 years old and the house is cluttered with 60 years of living here. It's not hoarder like you see on TV, but junk in the basement, TVs, and bed that costs a lot money to put in our local garbage facility.

This past week has taken it's toll on my mental health. I have been in bed for 5 days and I have not eaten in 5 days. After the fourth day Mom called my estranged sister to go down to my room and check on me yesterday. I can't stop crying and for the first time since I was in my early 20s I have been thinking that life for everyone would be better if I was dead. Mom would be forced to go to a care facility, And I would be out of pain. All of the happy times in my life have come and gone. My marriage, children being born, raising them to adults, my career, all of that is gone now. I love my mom but she isn't at good at emotional support, she never has been. I am alone in my life with anxiety and panic. I haven't been able to keep and hold a job for 15 years now. Talk therapy is like having a paid friend to vent to and the medications they give me help some. But there is no self-help, guru, a pill that will change all the bad luck I have suffered in life. There is no prescription that will protect me from all the Cruel people there is in the blue collar fields of work I am qualified for. There is nothing for me in the future but public assistance, old age, sickness and death.

[gajh]

I am so sorry for your suffering. I am glad you are here reaching out for support. You are not alone. We are all here for you. Please consider calling a crisis line if you need to. Please remember that your mother needs you. Your life is important. You matter.

[hypercat54]

Oh dear you are in a very difficult situation and I do feel for you.

If your niece is so well off why doesn't she help out more? It appears she is the one being neglectful and uncaring while you are doing the best you can under very trying circumstances.

They say the best form of defence is attack so have this to the ready if she has a go at you again.

Also all your family could do more, including your siblings and children? Why is all the burden on you when you have a lot of problems of your own?

You could also point out that as well as your mother you aren't coping well and need help too. After all you are all members of the same family.

Ask your selfish niece why she or others aren't paying to get all the items you don't want removed? Why aren't they paying for a cleaner and some more carpets/and general refurbishment?

Remember you can't do more than your best. And best is best even if it's not good. No one including you should expect more of yourself than that.

See what they say to that! Good luck.

[Hidden in reply to hypercat54]

I’m 67 years old. A former successful biz owner. A problem solver. Obviously all situations can be different, especially when dealing with human personalities and emotions. It’s been 27 years since my bipolar afflictions really came out with a rage and turns out I’ve been living with some levels for some 45 years. Have struggled mightly to get family meetings and proper support. Maybe find or get help with that by finding a therapist who would help with that area, It huge to our health if at all possible. It is difficult enough to stay balanced, while feeling that no one care.

I certainly do!!

We all deserve the best relief and life we can achieve, no matter what allictii s.

For me it seems that I was under medicated for much if thise 27 years. It’s obviously different for each of us and I was so very desperate to find relief I checked into a hospital for the first time. They totally changed everything and increased my anxiety meds to way more than they had been. My depression has also heavily subsided.

My 4 day stay created a $2000 bill after my insurance. I’m paying it off , interest free, at $30 a month.

Please don’t give up

I too wanted to give up , but am very glad I didn’t and kept battling. I too lost so much, but now I’m feeling a lot better, I know there is still work to be done on this planet.

Keep battling. Keep researching. Find others that get it. Whatever form or fashion that is.

I totally get your pain my dear

When you do and you will

Help others

A couple was walking along the beach totally washed ashore with starfish. He asked “how can we possibly help all of them.”She put one back in the water and said “that’s a start right there “

Much love

Craig

[Nona00]

I am very sorry to hear everything you are going through. It's hard having people you trust and care for turn their backs on you. I have been in the same boat. It has taken me a long time to deal with it. However I still have times of weakness. I know it feels like things would be better if you was gone but that IS NOT TRUE. You do have people that live you truly and would be devastated if something happened. Do not let the negative thoughts cloud your self worth. One thing I have found beneficial is therapy. I have tried psychology and did nothing for me. Therapy has helped me understand others actions along with my own. I would suggest it, it is very different. I took me 2 years to accept therapy as being beneficial. I'm not saying other aspects of psychology don't help other people, but it don't help all. Also check out YouTube. There is a guy on there called The Anxiety Guy. He has helped me as well. I am here to chat if you need an ear or some advice.

[CLB1125]

you are important! your niece is a bully. your mom needs you. maybe she doesn't express her feelings but trust me, she appreciates everything you do for her. I didn't think my mom loved me. i didn't know until she had passed and left a letter to her children telling us she was so proud of us and loved us all. try to talk to your mom, let her know how hurt you are. we are here to talk.

[Boston001 in reply to CLB1125]

❤️