Today my husband asked me a question, and I answered yes. He says never mind I'll find it myself. I told him I answered him. He said maybe in your mind, but you didn't. Am I going crazy? Did I only think I answered him? I don't know anymore. Maybe he's right. I'm lost now....
Maybe I am crazy!: Today my husband... - Anxiety and Depre...
Maybe I am crazy!
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CLB1125
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30 Replies
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Sounds like he is in a cranky mood. I’d be glad he didn’t hear me. Let him find it himself lol. Don’t let it make you feel you’re going crazy, I say things to my husband all the time and he swears I never said it and I know I did.
Does he do this a lot? Could be gaslighting.
Yes he does. Even my family has noticed it.
Look at the link and see if it fits.
psycom.net/gaslighting-in-r...
Oh it fits!!
Huge red flags. It won't get any better but it might get worse.
That’s what I’m afraid of. Leaving for me isn’t an option so I feel doomed. The older he gets the less tolerant he is getting. He had a horrible experience when his dad passed and he stopped talking to his whole family including his mom now she passed. There’s no consoling him because he doesn’t have a problem according to him.
Is there nowhere else you could go? Family, friends etc. I don't know what country you are in but is it possible you could get disability of some form?
If it is impossible to physically leave him there is only one option and that is to start to detach emotionally for your own well being.
Do some more reading on gaslighting and see if you can find a way to do this.
Oh gosh, I'm sure you said it and maybe he didn't hear you? I have a small hearing problem myself so I don't hear answers.
You're ok. Hug
CLB1125 in reply to
Oh that’s a huge Discussion around here. I’m the one that can’t hear! I have been tested and my hearing is perfect. But you aren’t going to tell that to him.
The last time my partner was tested they said he didn't need hearing aids. BUT he couldn't hear my voice, which is quite "light". I am being gaslighted all the time. A new hearing test is in the offing but he has to arrange it with the GP himself. We have it on good authority that NHS aids are at least as good as the ones you pay for. He's not going to do it today as he's been in the garden, come in with a really bad hypo and I'm hard pressed to find any time to clear up the mess and then do my ironing. We are due company any minute so I guess the ironing will have to wait. Sometimes, he does hear me but chooses not to answer. It happened yesterday. Perhaps those occasions are a red flag for a hypo happening in the next 24 hours. The only way to deal with the fall out is to distance yourself emotionally, as another respondent has written.
in reply to CLB1125
Never lol
Sounds like gaslighting to me my x used to pull stuff like this on me !!! Very much gaslighting
could be gaslighting you, or could be he’s not paying attention cause he’s in a mood that he’s not even listening out to hear your response, that you actually verbalized. No you aren’t crazy. My best advice is don’t engage in it. Be like oops move on to whatever else ur doing let him do it himself and don’t feel bad about it. Big hugs.
It's so hard not to engage. I've often engaged and then realised too late that I should have left the room!
Totally!! Same here. Just sometimes if we remind ourselves or keep hearing don’t engage it can be encouraging to try that.
Its awful, isnt it? Perhaps I can get Alexa to remind me!
Absolutely it’s awful! Shouldn’t be called anxiety, I call it the demon/monster. Gotta raise the rent and kick it out of our head. Lol 😂
Actually, he is capable of hearing me at low levels. I've caught him out a few times. On a rare occasion, an interesting conversation allows him to hear but most of the time he doesn't even let me finish what I'm saying before he's interrupting me with his "Sorry?" He's now got a referral from his GP. That will be interesting given that she says he fulfils all the criteria for a referal.
Sorry Maggie I just realized I commented regarding the anxiety of the situation and that monster (anxiety) of stressing us out when we engage. But back to partners, I just think gaslighting is more common than we realize. And extremely frustrating to deal with. Hopefully it gets better and he can work on that. Hugs to you.
Actually, he is capable of hearing me at low levels. I've caught him out a few times. On a rare occasion, an interesting conversation allows him to hear but most of the time he doesn't even let me finish what I'm saying before he's interrupting me with his "Sorry?" He's now got a referral from his GP. That will be interesting given that she says he fulfils all the criteria for a referal.
I can’t not think about it. My anxiety is on super high!! I can’t sleep because it’s just nagging me. I’ve given myself a migraine now. 😔 we have barely spoken to each other since he said it. It’ll be me over reacting and him being the victim again! I’m caught in a loop. Damned if I do and damned if I don’t!!
Yep, that's the way it goes. We are each supposed to be getting some counselling from the local council.
He just might not have heard you. I've got one like that.
I know he didn’t but he’ll never admit that. It’s always me.
CLB Does your husband drink at all?? Alcohol can make one insensitive
to another's needs. 
xx
thank you
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