Hello, I’m a 47 year old Mom of 16 year old twins. I suffer from anxiety/depression. I have always been on medication for about 15 years now and I can’t remember a time when I felt like I was “normal.” This summer I started to wake in the early mornings with bad anxiety. My heart would race and that was how I started my day. This would go on until about 7:30 at night. I had a very short window of relief. The anxiety was so bad it made it hard to function. I was in a fight or flight feeling all day. I decided to seek help at the Er where I was admitted to get my medication right. They were able to get the palpitations under control and changed my medications but I’m still having anxiety the overthinking and irrational thoughts. I’m so tired of trying new medications and not having the relief I’m so desperately seeking. I am divorced and my ex husband has been with the children so I can focus on getting better but I am extremely guilty over this. I feel like I’m a terrible mother and I miss my kids dearly but the thought of them being home causes me great worry as well. Any parents out there that are suffering?
could use some comfort right now - Anxiety and Depre...
could use some comfort right now
Yes, I understand, a lot! I can relate and, you're not alone. Lately, I've been waking with anxiety and it sucks.
I suggest tapping or binaural beats. A coping skill possibly can help. I just Google that stuff and it gives a little relief.
Huggggg
I will google it too!
I understand. I’ve had very similar experiences. I’m new, but wanted to say something to let you know people are here for you.
This is my first post, a reply to yours. I’m really sorry for what you’re going through. As I write I’m wide awake with an overactive mind myself, exasperated at not being able to sleep (which, of course, is making it even worse), and struggling to do anything to help me calm down, none of which seems to be working. Unlike you I haven’t started taking medications yet, but I’ve struggled with this for almost 15 years now. (But for me since it isn’t a constant thing, just in certain circumstances, I haven’t yet consulted with a medical professional - but it seems to be getting worse so I am planning on talking with someone). My particular circumstances this time around we’re that I have been/am currently on vacation, and something triggered my belief that I couldn’t breathe in one of the places we stayed (I know the belief wasn’t true but it felt that way) and of course that has just been building on itself and every night has been a struggle. And then ending up now (last part of the vacation) in Disneyland and the resort connected to the hotel last night played music until really late (and then apparently we heard the noise from the Angels game late as well) and then tonight Disney brilliantly thought it would be okay to rehearse their Halloween party parade/music after their last show finished at 10:44, so it sounded like a house party right next door (no soundproof windows, apparently) and the noise continued to go on until 11:45 or later. Two angry calls to guest services resulted in weak apologies and saying that it was the decision of the park to hold these rehearsals after the shows had ended. But my calmness that I worked so hard to achieve during the day (avoiding rides I would normally do with my kids) is now completely shot. Strangely enough though, writing this post is calming me down, so I appreciate the opportunity to vent to you (sorry) and sympathize with you, even if our circumstances are different. I completely understand your guilt about the kids not being around now, but for what it’s worth I think you’re doing the right thing in taking care of yourself first. Good luck, and I hope your overactive mind can relax soon.
Even though you aren't having constant anxiety, it is a good idea to get help sooner rather than later. The sooner you get counseling (and/or meds) the better, as this will help prevent your thought patterns from becoming too ingrained and more difficult to "re-route" later.
Agreed, I have always been busy so have downplayed the urgency of this, but I know you’re right - and when it’s bad, it’s really bad for me, so I need to do something. One frustration is that scrolling through my insurance I have no idea how to pick someone to go visit. It’s like they are clueless on how to advise people on the process of finding a mental health professional (which, probably, they are). If you have any idea on how to solve that dilemma please let me know. Thanks!
You can look up healthcare professionals in your area, then read their information and what they specialize in. Some do specialize in anxiety and panic and may be willing to become a provider for your insurance if not already. They may also work on a sliding scale if they don't accept your insurance. If there aren't any near you, check if insurance would cover online counseling through places like Better Health or something similar, then look for someone on there who specializes in anxiety and panic. I do hope you find someone AND that your insurance will cover.
Thank you so much, I will try that.
I don’t know how you’ve coped so well for so long. Medicine is not for everyone. I’m inspired by your late night sharing. I too find it helpful. Take care and reply to me anytime. 😊
I agree with that. In fact, that’s probably part of the reason I haven’t gone to see anyone, that I don’t want to be put on some “regimen” of medicines, when I’m usually a pretty calm person. I hate even saying that here, though, because I can see that so many people on this site are struggling with things far more difficult than I am facing, and so I can completely understand why they may be feeling the way they do. I wish I could help them (even though I’m not doing great myself right now). I’m hoping that once I get back to my routine and put myself to work, I’ll start to feel normal again.
I hope you get back to your routine soon. I know people who don’t want to go through the medication process. I’ve tried to taper off some off my medications before. I didn’t work for me, but my goal is to have my neck surgery soon and get off the pain medications.
I’ve been stable for 14 years before the pain in my neck started. I can’t wait to be my old self again. I understand the desire to help others and not feeling like we are capable. You are helping me by replying to comments. I’m sure many other members feel the same way. Thank you! Hugs 😊
I hope that your neck surgery goes well and that you are your old self again quickly!
Thank you very much for the encouragement
Hi!
Firstly, i’m a mom of 15-year-old twins so I get where you’re coming from in that respect. Twins are extremely difficult in a way that no one gets it unless they’re in it. And their teen years are especially difficult. Feel free to pm me anytime to commiserate in that respect.
I remember having my first panic attack when they were a few months old.
Have you done an inpatient or outpatient DBT program? DBT is the gold standard for anxiety. When they adjusted your meds, are you inpatient?
I understand as well. When reading about anxiety/panic attacks, everything says they end in about 30 minutes at the most. Well, nope! I've been in the situation where it was constant or possibly one after another for days on end. My best suggestion is counseling in conjunction with medication, and make sure your meds are being prescribed by mental health care professionals and not family doctors. Family docs don't understand mental health the same way since it isn't their specialty, and they may not know the correct meds for your particular situation. Good luck!
Ugh - this is very hard. As others have said, we get it. And you are a good mom because you are taking care of yourself so you can be there for your children. Would writing them a card or letter help? Just throwing it out there as it's helped me at times when I missed my children. Sending you big hugs.
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