I'm the first one to advocate that continued, regular, uninterrupted therapy is necessary when you are at a depression low. With that being said. I have an issue that I could use some help with. I'm on my third therapist in the last six months. I just don't seem to get any help from them. I am planning on looking for someone new (actively searching) but in the meantime I'm still seeing my current therapist. The problem is that she is bad...she asks me the same questions several times and she says things that set me off. I seem to be more up on therapies snd treatment than she is. Its frustrating. I always feel worse when I leave our meetings. I know I need help and I don't know how long it will take to find someone else. Is it worth it to keep seeing her just to have some kind of support? I kind of get panicked if I don't have someone to call if I need to. On the other hand, I couldn't do much worse on my own. I guess I kind of answered my own question but I could use some advice.
Could use some advice on therapist si... - Anxiety and Depre...
Could use some advice on therapist situation.
Keep looking.
You will find the right person for you.
Therapy is about the relationship, in my opinion.
Yes! Thanks
If I may, have you answered the same questions she asked you or did you avoid answering? Also what did she say when you told her that you would like to know why she keeps asking the same questions?Are there other questions you would like her to ask you?
During my therapy questions that made me uncomfortable revealed a weakness and it is by attempting to reflect on them that I finally made progress. I know first-hand it is painful to face what hurts but it is so rewarding at the end.
Take care.
No, I've been very open with her (I always figure if I'm spending all this money I shouldn't hold back!). And that's what's frustrating...I tell her past traumas and things and she never remembers that I said these things and makes me repeat and relive these things all over again. Thanks for your help!
Im glad you remember that you are the customer, and that you don’t hold back. In that spirit, might you ask, “You seem to be asking me about the same experiences over and over. Are you doing that to help me process them? If you are, what should I be doing to cooperate with that?”
Reliving past trauma can be part of the hard work of recovery. Or it can be an ineffective therapist. I’ll tough it out through daily cleaning of a wound to prevent infection and promote healing (memories of my RN mom and mercurochrome), but repeated re-injury? No, thanks. Done here. Next?
Thanks. I try to practice being assertive with my therapists. That's a good point about reasking for the sake of exposure. In this case I told her I was being triggered and she said she just wanted to know these things for background info. I truly think she just spaced out on it. The best therapists I've had take notes and I think that should be the logical thing to do.I dunno. Thanks for the response!
My therapist takes notes. My prescribing psychiatrist takes notes. Anybody who does work where the next step is not obvious to the senses takes notes. “Spacing out” is why people take notes. I share your logic.
I find you so insightful propjock.
Thanks!
Hmmmmm if it were me I wouldn't want to keep repeating hurtful stories.😔 I can't imagine that the therapist is doing it on purpose but it's not helping.
Very true. Good point thanks!
After reading some of your previous posts, it seems to me that you also have some spiritual questions. Many therapists are not equipped to help you with those. They may not even be permitted to.
True, good point. I was hoping this therapist would be specialized in scrupulosity ocd but I don't think she is. You're right, finding someone specialized in your specific problems is key. Unfortunately my insurance doesn't allow me to see a lot of the more qualified psychologists. In the meantime I keep hunting. I'm thinking of requesting more infrequent visits. That way I can keep her for the time being as a resource with less opportunity to get me worked up.
I only recently learned that religious scrupulously is a thing. But apparently it’s been known about for centuries. A friend of mine was so gripped by it, but she is gradually recovering. It still claws at me. It can always find something.
“A good pilot is always learning” applies to therapists, too, IMO. I’m glad you’re getting some good information on here about helping your therapist help you.
I have never been to a therapist. My approach has always been research, self help books/videos and of course, HealthUnlocked. I have found a few blogs that have been very good, also.
However, there are those who need the face to face talk therapy. If I were to do this, the therapist and I would have to feel very comfortable and relaxed together. This combined with an obvious interest in me and a willingness to make me feel welcomed would be very important.
I sincerely hope you find someone who is suited to you, Broken1971. Until then, keep coming here, sometimes those that have suffered the longest are the experts, truly. We come here for advice, yet we take only the advice we need. The rest is lovely and supportive, though.
Thank you so much. I hope everyone here understands how much I, personally, appreciate the support they provide. It truly has been more helpful than my therapy.
I would like to gently suggest that you might be giving up on therapists too quickly.
Is one of the previous two therapists worth another try?
It is normal for therapy to be uncomfortable. It is normal for therapy to make things worse before they get better. It is normal for it to take twelve months before you feel a noticeable difference.
No therapist will be perfect and no therapist will fully live up to your expectation.
You could very well be right. I've been very short tempered and short on patience in recent months and I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. I get triggered very easily by the stupidest things and it drives me nuts. But the current person I'm seeing I've given several months and I just have had it. I'm sure the fact that it is phone therapy doesn't help either. I just know that i have had great therapists that I've clicked with in the past. I just can't see them because i moved away, my insurance won't let me or they retired. I have faith someone is out there!
On my own journey, I’ve found that asking my therapist for book recommendations for my situation has been very helpful. I often learn more from the books than from the sessions.
Honestly, it makes sense. The role of a therapist is to point you in the right direction. You are the traveler. You are the boss of your journey. You call the shots.
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