Could use some hope!

[Pearl67]

G’morning fellow friends. My son is experiencing some very concerning mental health behaviors. Anxiety, anger, paranoid thinking, lack of appetite, eating. This is not new, just escalating and a wife now. And she is just not “having” it, which is so welcome. We have tried for many years to get him to get help and he refuses. Mostly extremely afraid of medication-which I “get.” But keep in mind he used every recreational drug on the planet without care. (Been clean for 5 years. Periodic CBD oil for sleep and appetite)

He did, under duress, go to a PA that prescribed Latuda yesterday. He is petrified and keeps sending texts with the list of side effects.....

My anxiety is pretty darn high right now as well. We live 12 hours apart and I cannot be there. (He has not asked me to be) but his wifecis overwhelmed, he is overwhelmed and his dad and I are sad and scared. I cannot leave work right now. At all! Maybe at Thanksgiving time!

This long story I now condense into,1. “ how do I maintain my sanity through this?” My job is very demanding and all encompassing. I am up by 4/4:30 and did not stop until 9pm last night. That is typical. Then I do not usually sleep well. Average hrs...3-5, awake every 2 hours at the least. I was bleassed with 5:40 last night! 2. The pa put him on Latuda. Anyone with experience with Latuda? Especially positive ones🤗

Thank you all for listening!!!!

I hope you have some peace and joy in your life!

[Hidden]

Like you told me, yoga, epsom baths and support where you can get it. Hope things are better for you now...

[Pearl67 in reply to Hidden]

Yes! Better for him, thank you! He has FINALLY decided to see a therapist🙌🏻

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Take care of you! Can you have him come visit you? Could your husband go visit? Try all the relaxation techniques.

As far as he is concerned, I understand your feeling. My son went to the army and the other to college 12 hours away. I know how hard that must be. You could send care packages to him and maybe some bubble bath or something to his wife. I’m sure just talking to his mom does help. I know it’s hard but you can tell him I need one day to myself. I could never do that myself but sometimes we actually have to let them figure some things out. I’m not good at that. My 23 year old is back home still expecting to be spoiled. So I get it. He has issues also. The medicine can help. I haven’t taken that one but others. Not every person gets every side effect nor do most get most of them. They have to try to think of everything to cover their butts. Most never occur. Most are just symptoms of people with the illness itself to cover their butt. Literally. Sometimes you have to weigh the pros and cons of what’s most damaging right now. I understand though also that people who have been on street drugs know they can get sucked in quick so he needs reassurance. I hope you can find some common ground. CBD oil is supposedly very good for anxiety as well. I’ve never tried it. You have to be careful where you get it I think. Marijuana is also very relaxing if legal where he is. My son uses that for his anxiety. I’m not a fan though.

[Pearl67 in reply to Hopeful-Tinkerbell]

Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words!!! That post was 4 months ago, and I am happy to say he is seeing a counselor at the moment. I have no idea if it will last, but praying it does! He is off the Lamictal.

[Lostjoy in reply to Pearl67]

Your story sounds a bit like mine. My youngest Son developed anxiety after his Dad and I moved 6 hours away. He is 30, but will always be my baby. My job is demanding as well. I felt so helpless. The only thing I could do is stay on the phone with him when he was having really bad times. I was so scared for him that my anxiety spiraled out of control. It’s been a year now. He seems to be doing better.

My issues turned into a monster with feeling guilty about moving so far away. The last couple of days I am finally feeling some relief. I don’t want to spoil it, so I can’t say I’m out of the woods yet.

Being a parent of adult kids is way harder than I ever imagined. When they were little I could put them in bed with me when they were scared at night. But being so far away and feeling totally helpless is far worse than I ever imagined.

I am not good at letting them figure things out on their own either. Probably part of my Son’s issues. I like hopeful_tinkerbell’s idea of a care package.

I can’t wait to be able to move back to be close to all 3 of my kids again.

Keep us posted on how your Son is doing.

[Pearl67 in reply to Lostjoy]

Oh Lostjoy! I am so sorry you can relate....I don’t want anyone to! Only because it is so painful....

I send hugs, prayers and strength for your day today! Keep the positive momentum moving forward!

[Hopeful-Tinkerbell in reply to Pearl67]

Oops. Lol. I just saw it in my feed. Glad things are better! ❤️