Could use some support right now

[mauv]

Going thru a deep depression and just want to get out from under this quicksand I feel is drawing me under I usually can get out of my depressions but have been in this one for 26 days and no relief. Some days are better than others. This is just a bad day. I know I need to accept where I am and be gentle with myself. My problem is I want to control my depressions and thinking why am I still in this. Really hurting and reaching out because I know you understand

[Hidden]

Hi. I'm sorry you're depressed now. Sending support your way!

[mauv in reply to Hidden]

Thank you, I. can use all the support I can get COVID makes it worse because I can’t spend time with my friends. I am glad for the friends I have made in this support group

[Hidden]

We sure do understand here... Sorry u are feeling like this. Take one day at a time, u will be fine

[mauv in reply to Hidden]

I am glad to text with friends who really do understand how I feel. I know recovery is 2 steps forward and 1 step back. Sometimes it is 1 step forward and 2 steps back. I am a work in progress. As long as I wake up breathing there is hope.

[Hidden in reply to mauv]

Oh I got that right... We are all work in progress.

[Sankissjuice in reply to mauv]

Wow reading this is inspiring me to keep persevering. I have been in this rut since August when that doctor switched my med for no good reason other than to make more money. " As long as I wake up breathing, there is hope."

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer]

Hi Mauv. It’s sure understandable that you want to control your depression but the desire for control gets us into trouble. We can’t do it. Not because we’re weak. Or because we’re not dealing with depression in the “right” way. It just doesn’t work. Give up needing to control life and a huge burden will be lifted from you. Like everything else I “advise” here I’m still working on this myself. Hope you feel better soon

[mauv in reply to Catsamaze]

Giving up control is my biggest challenge. God is keeping me here in this depression for a reason. I need to rest in His grace and His love and accept where I am right now. In God’s time He will bring me out of this depression as He has done before. It is in His timing not mind. He wants us to comfort each other because we truely understand each other’s pain..

[froggymom88]

Sending you a great big hug. Be gentle with yourself and remind yourself that you a special, one of a kind creation. Say nice things to yourself.

[mauv in reply to froggymom88]

Thank you for your nice words. I have been very hard on myself but am working at treating myself with compassion when I am in a deep depression. I am 76 yrs old and have had depressions since age 12. Not major until post partum depression with my first child. Had4 children. One died from crib death, one age 33 from Duchences Muscular Dystrophy. I have one girl age 42 who is developementally delayed(age10-12) married to aboy who is developementally delayed. One girl married to a boy ( with my 2 granddaughters) Zoe-13,All-10. I only see them 2-3 times a year. They live 10 hrs away. I am married to a verbally abusive man. COVID has made it worse since I don’t see my friends to play cards or at Bible Study or Alanon.

[Cleaningthehouse in reply to mauv]

Dearest Mauv,

What a soldier you have been. Keep working at this. People love you.

[Sankissjuice in reply to mauv]

Can we be friends, Mauv?

[SeekingPeace1]

Hi Mauv. So sorry you're going through such a hard time. Have you seen a dr for your depression? If it is happening so frequently and is so severe then you really should see a dr. What is causing this depression? Is it because of the stress and strains of life or it has no reason?

If the depression comes on without any reason then it could be a medical or lifestyle reason that can be corrected easily.

Try to change to a healthier lifestyle - such as a nutritious natural diet, enough sleep, exercise, yoga, meditation, enough sunlight, etc. and see if it helps. It could be a nutrient deficiency.

Read this report: Understanding nutrition, depression and mental illnesses

ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articl...

"......A notable feature of the diets of patients suffering from mental disorders is the severity of deficiency in these nutrients.[3] Studies have indicated that daily supplements of vital nutrients are often effective in reducing patients' symptoms.[4] Supplements containing amino acids have also been found to reduce symptoms, as they are converted to neurotransmitters which in turn alleviate depression and other mental health problems.

The most common nutritional deficiencies seen in patients with mental disorders are of omega–3 fatty acids, B vitamins, minerals, and amino acids that are precursors to neurotransmitters. In addition to omega–3 fatty acids, vitamin B (e.g., folate) and magnesium deficiencies have been linked to depression.[26–28]

[mauv in reply to SeekingPeace1]

Thank you for this article on nutrition. I know I am low in a lot of the minerals suggested and plan to start taking the correct amount. I will ask my psychiatrist about trytophan.

[13ga]

hi mauv...

i've been where you are; and i'm struggling myself right now, with the recent death of my step dad; and the pending death of my mom's brother (uncle)... not to mention a complex family dynamic, that i won't bore you with.

.

i know that you can get past your depression. and i don't mean to repeat what Catsamaze has already said - but it really does help to strive to let go of the things that are beyond your control.

.

also - doing this alone is exceeding difficult. i commend you for reaching out for help here... there are many caring people willing to help support you. but that may not be enough, if this is a bad depression. have you sought professional help? a therapist can really help to guide you thru recovery. you just need to find one you like. if you find one you don't like - don't hesitate to fire them and hire a new one!! you're their boss, and you're in control. there are good ones and bad ones; and ones that are better suited to YOU.

.

getting out of a depression is never a straight line. there are always setbacks, and you need to be prepared for those, and keep pushing forward. staying out of depression afterward is also a task that we should always be working on!! depression is like alcoholism, in that, once had, we are more susceptible to future battles.

.

there are other organziations that can help to hook you up with a therapist as well as offer additionial resources. one of them is nami.org this is a national organization with local chapters across the country.

.

if you want to talk, we're here to listen... do you want to talk about what might have triggered your latest episode?

and mauv... most importantly... you're not alone.

[mauv in reply to 13ga]

I had a crown fall out and had to have the rest of the tooth pulled.One week after 1st Covid shot had a rash on my arm that covered a third of my arm and very itchy. My daughter has issues with her hiatal hernia and is on the phone a lot to me. My husband won’t have anything to do with her. He is verbally abusive. I had her and her husband over for the Super Bowl and he told me he was not going to be involved at all. Family dynamics are not good. Have to separate from him when he picks at me or puts me down. I know it is not me but it still adds to my depression. Stress is the key factor to my depression and I have to deal with it a lot .

[13ga in reply to mauv]

wow mauv - can i ever empathize!

there's some serious suckage in all that...

so let's start with that which is most in control... itchy rash... i won't bother suggesting calamine or similar; assume you've already tried... i can say that when i've had unstoppable itchey's that i've found scratching myself until i bled very satisfying... but i would NOT recommend this. hopefully that was worth a small smile... (i wasn't kidding - i've done that)

don't know if you've tried taking an antihistamine or allergy med - but that might help if you haven't tried it.

outside of the crown - all the rest clearly fall into the family dynamic basket. and obviously stress is the common denominator in all of the above.

i fully empathize with those crappy family dynamics... i have a step mom i've not spoken to in a year; and don't expect that to change. i've been ranting about my brother for the last 2.5 weeks... won't bore you. but he's also on phone w/ my mom who's trying to grieve loss of her hubby of 50 yrs complaining about all his sad tales... and i'm on phone w/ mom trying to make up for my bro's damage...

i'm def. familiar w/ stress... and i'm dealing w/ a situation not too different from yours. so you're in good company - tho i'm not sure i qualify as "good" company at the moment...

.

i wish i had better suggestions for you... but it seems to me - if you want an outsiders opinion - if i were in your shoes; i'd focus first on YOU, then my daughter. not sure who said this first.. but you "need to put your oxygen mask on first - before you help others". sharing your pain lightens your load - and i definitely feel your pain.

i'd then focus on your daughter; because she's clearly not getting support from her husband, and if she's turning to you - then you must be a really good friend and mother to her. and i know you're feeling her pain as if it's your own. i hope she's seeking medical help for her hiatal hernia - that's a miserable thing to have to deal with; and often requires lifestyle changes along with treatment. none of which is easy.

that your husband is verbally abusive and unwilling to help out - well that speaks volumes, and i know the stress that causes you; must be terrible burden.

so you're O2 mask first...

what are you doing for you? how do you try to manage all that stress?

i really feel for your situation... wish i could give you a big hug... but i'm def sending you a big virtual hug... 🤗

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to 13ga]

So many good things you said here, 13ga, but I want to zoom in on one in particular.....recovering from depression is not a straight line. That is exactly right. Setbacks are to be expected. We’ve all heard “2 steps forward and 1 step back”. A setback is the one step back. We do NOT go back to Square One. We’ve come too far for that......

[13ga in reply to Catsamaze]

major agreement, catsamaze; and truly awesome point!

sounds like you've come up with a great mantra!

"we do NOT go back to square one - we've come too far for that..."

love that and kudos!!!! 💜

[Catsamaze ADAA Volunteer in reply to 13ga]

It really can be a mantra! I tell myself that every time I feel like I’m backsliding at all 😊

[Cleaningthehouse]

The fact that you reach out in these posts tells me you are slowly coming out. Please continue to fight for yourself.

[Cleaningthehouse]

I hope that my comments are helpful. I feel like I say the wrong things. My son who is depressed, tells me I say the wrong things.

[EuroJoy]

Yes, do understand! It is a frustrating place to be in. Have you had some counseling or therapy? I found this organization that has licensed therapists who are kind and lend an empathetic ear - if you'd like to unburden, here's their number: 855-382-5433. You can call this number for free.Remember those 'up' days - that might give you a hopeful perspective. I find going out and getting some fresh air, exercising or simply going for walks helps...

[mauv]

I have a very good therapist. I am making an effort to walk. My balance isn’t the best and our roads have a lot of. Potholes. I walk around my house on a 1/2 acre 8 times, once a day. I am on a Fisher Wallace Machine for depression. I have tried numerous antidepressants. I have had depressions for many years and usually can handle them but COVID is making this one worse. I have been in it 21 days. Each day I wake up breathing there is Hope. With God nothing is impossible!