Thought monitoring

[Trish23]

I go in and out of anxious periods in my life. One thing that I do that makes it worse is monitoring my thoughts and checking myself all my waking hours. I try to say stop or no and move on but I want to get through a day without that. Any suggestions ?

[Blankpayge]

great question…the never ending thoughts and doubts and trying to talk myself out of it never works, right? Just makes it worse for me and then it turns physical. I look forward to reading some answers!

[Island2 in reply to Blankpayge]

What works and helps me in this situation is: getting busy with gardening, house work or running , work out, so I get physically tired , when I am really tired I can think of nothing but get some rest and relax. It is not a permanent solution but at least it gives you a break. Or you can find some other stuff to be busy and productive . I hope it will help to you too🙏❤️

[MindfulMoment]

I have a mental exercise I do of turning the page. For some reason in the moment worrying feels like control but it only leads to a loss of control, and quite frankly the worries are generally not logical anyways. So I will let the thought be there, acknowledge the thought and then turn the page. Sometimes I need someone I trust to give me the grounding thought, it becomes my mantra. And everytime I have the worrying thoughts I acknowledge, repeat the mantra and then turn the page. Then I engage in something that will stimulate a different part of my brain.

[punkster]

Stay busy. Exercise, meditate. Body scan meditations might be helpful. Write down your feelings before bedtime and put them to rest.

[Zhangliqun]

Thought monitoring is not necessarily a bad thing, it depends on how you do it. If you focus on stopping a negative thought, the negative thought is still center stage on the mic and it still owns you.

A far better way is thought replacement. When such a thought comes, replace it with something pleasant.

But even before that, you must believe that life is worthwhile, that Goodness is real, and these pleasant thoughts have to be ultimately rooted in that holy Goodness.

Once that's established, the simpler and even sillier the positive thought, the better because of what it's rooted in. On the other hand, if it is not rooted in the positive belief that life is worthwhile and for a reason external to us all, if you think we all exist only by accident, then even the most profound pleasant thoughts will be on shaky ground at best.

But talking about this concept in the abstract without concrete examples gets us nowhere. So, some of my own:

1) I like to view websites that have nothing but fall foliage pictures. There's something about Fall that gives me a sensation of a pleasant but nameless nostalgia. And those maples, those glorious on-fire looking maples...

2) In my worst days, I would just go to a hardware store and walk around. All this stuff in there to help you build something or fix something creates a constructive atmosphere. You may see something in there that reminds you of a little task around the house that needs handling. If it's something you're not confident about so much the better -- it means it's time to ask for help and maybe you'll have a pleasant conversation with someone at the store.

3) Any piece of music that gives the sensation that everything will be all right can be a big help. I very HIGHLY recommend an instrumental by Pat Metheny called "Always and Forever". For a soothing, reassuring mood, it is straight from Heaven's throne room. You can go to Youtube and type in Pat Metheny Always and Forever and hear it right now.

A very important thing to understand is that mood disorders are rarely if ever standing still. They are either getting worse or better. You are always in a mood spiral going one way or the other, and each moment builds on the one before it.

Therefore, each moment you spend on something genuinely positive slows or even reverses the negative spiral, so even 5 minutes away from the bad thoughts is a point gained -- it reduces the build-up and can even start to tear it down.

Another important thing is that when you have something to do that's optional and you really don't feel like doing it, then -- especially if it involves being around other people -- that is the time you most need to do it.

You need to be around other people to draw you out of yourself and think about something other than our misery, to hear other voices which knocks the negative thoughts out of your head because you can't focus on what they're saying and also be entertaining negative thoughts. Don't worry that they don't understand your illness, just accept that they don't. Because they can't. (And have compassion for them, because they may be privately suffering something that we can't understand.)

By our nature, we mood disorder people are very self-absorbed and so we often become angry that people around us who haven't had our experience behave as if they haven't had our experience. A bit unreasonable. Just take the good that you can get from them and be thankful for it. And besides, there are places like this site where there are plenty of folks who do understand.

We must be thankful for the blessings we do receive -- because happiness without gratitude is impossible.