Broken heart, irreparable

[StupidFool1974]

My profile tells my story. At this point, I think there is nothing I or anyone else can do. I have a shattered heart that overarches everything else in my life. I can’t believe I cannot seem to be able to get over it.

[Hidden]

Hello I'm sorry for your pain most of us have experienced a broken heart at some point be it the loss of a partner pet parent, friend etc give it time the old saying really does heel although in some cases like the loss of a child or parent it never heels properly but you learn to live with it, a partner boyfriend or girlfriend is a different matter if your young you'll be fine I'm sure you just need time to accept this fill your mind with other things go on new dates a all consuming hobby sport, have you tried trying to find someone else you say it's been years,how old are you please,really when I was young I had some broken hearts you do think it will never go but then as it does you look back and think I can't believe I went through all that pain and waste of time and now I'm glad as realise the person wasn't suitable or worth it, well as you get older like a couple that have been together for say 6o years that's another matter the first initial pain eases goes even but then it's the aspect of rebuilding your life that's the issue not easy when your 7o or 8o and facing life's struggles more with age, so if your young which I'm 🤔 bear in mind you've many years to rebuild and start a new, true love starts from friendship and compatability compassion empathy towards that person understanding them there needs not so much your own, if you love this person be happy there happier now without you, as that's what true love is wanting the other person to be happy, just give it time keep busy and don't rush into anything with anyone else yet your too vulnerable but do date but don't all consume yourself with them just see now and then, as for me I'm happy single well most the time, 🤗take care of yourself, channel your love into helping others do some volunteer work 😊as I don't know exact details that's all I can say hope I've helped a bit

[StupidFool1974 in reply to Hidden]

thanks, PandaJane. Unfortunately, in my case, my heart has been shattered for almost 50 years. I’ve had other girlfriends and had no trouble getting over them but, this one, wow is all I can say. Maybe because she was so incredibly beautiful coupled with her breaking up with me (I can’t handle rejection, although I’ve handled it with another without much trouble). I know this is crazy to feel this way for so long. I kept telling myself over the years that the pain would go away but, nope! It’s still here.

I’ve been married for over 40 years and we’ve raised two great kids and I love my wife but I’ve been carrying this secret until now on this site. I think I’m hopeless but, maybe someone out there will tell me the mindset I need to free myself of this burden at long last and I can release this person from my mind.

[Hidden in reply to StupidFool1974]

Oh heck this is unexpected but she'll be old now and not so attractive maby your just foccused on that as your missing romance exitement in your marriage that's normal and it's become kinda like a crush on a pop star or actress excuse my expressions but I'm totally aghast and this is new to me other than I had a what I thought was love for someone we never ended up together we never told each other how we felt until it was too late he got some one pregnant so it was too late long story about 2o years later after we remained friends saw now n then I realised he wasn't my type had different values and some personality flaws, and I the infatuation love thing was just that friendship love, maby you could meet her and she'd fall of her pedistal 🤩like if you'd been married 4o years I'm sure she wouldv and you'll realise how much you love your wife in the real sense of the word because you've had a life together raised children built a home together that's love, I'm sorry if I'm speaking out of turn but this is all I can think of right now 🤗

[StupidFool1974 in reply to Hidden]

thanks PJ. I appreciate your kind, caring words. Every one of them. I’m sure she wouldn’t have me now as she’s lived a life of wealth and privilege and I haven’t. It’s just the feeling I had when we were together that I fantasize about regaining with her. I’ve seen pics of her and she is old but I see the young her when I look. I think just talking about it with you has helped me. I’m gonna reevaluate now for a while and see if I can gain a new perspective.

Again, I’m grateful. You have helped me.

[Hidden in reply to StupidFool1974]

Hello that's good I'm happy it's helping you talk can I ask your birth sine your wife's and your ex this may help me assure you she wasn't for you or may help indicate why you feel this way my mam studied astrology to disproof it all it did was proof it true, it's not just about sun sine it involves your moon Venus mars planetary positions but I'll get a general drift from your sun birth sine I'm Leo my charts v similar similar to Meghan markle she's often misunderstood people don't always see her private side which is the real her, it's 5 am here so I'll check back later It was a new moon yesterday new beginnings I can check what it means for your sine as it's in cancer means something bit different for each sine 😊🌝🌛

[StupidFool1974 in reply to Hidden]

My wife and I Scorpio, my lost love is Sagittarius.

[Hidden in reply to StupidFool1974]

Oh not sagittarians and Scorpio water and fire sines the water in your Scorpio sine puts the sagittarians fire out 🙄

[Cage77]

I am going through a hard break up right now and like you I did not think it would effect this bad. I was married for 19 years, 2 kids as well. My divorce was horrible and devastating, but I got through it, not in a healthy way but eventually it became healthy after 3 years of therapy. I caused self harm to myself, was in the verge of suicide, just did not care anymore. But I healed. During this time I dated woman as well. I dated for selfish reasons, and when it ended I was not heart broken. I started to date a woman a year ago, extremely beautiful, our relationship was so awesome. We never really fought but we would feed off of each other if we felt something was wrong and isolate from each other until one of us said something. Not healthy at all to do this. We both had bad divorces and brought trauma into the relationship. So we would both compare situations that happened in the relationships to our exs, and get scared. I think I did more than her. Well I ended it about a month ago and immediately rescinded me wanting to end it, but it was too late the damage was already done. I feel ever say that I let the one for me get away. The hard truth is, I am not ready for a serious committed relationship. Why because I truly have not healed from my divorce. After my divorce I pretty much ran away by jumping in and out.of relationships and making life choices based on false relationships that were my doing so I did not have to go through the real pain. Now that this last relationship is over, it has made me realize I still need to work in myself. I need to be alone and build confidence and be able to emotionally support other people instead of thinking about my needs and feelings first. I could not do this in this past relationship. I also feel so rejected as well. It is natural to feel this way. She was so beautiful and ultimately I felt inferior. I now know we just were not meant to be together, it would have gotten worse over time, she knew that and she made the hard decision to not continue on.

[StupidFool1974 in reply to Cage77]

I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through. Nothing is simple, is it? I appreciate you telling your story and hope you heal.