Feeling lonely

[Schatten]

I just got introduced to this website and I am not familiar with the way it works.

But I felt lonely. Actually I have been feeling lonely alot lately. The person I love ( my husband) doesn't love me or prioritise me. And I deeply felt it today. It is like when a glass shatters, and you suddenly realize how much you have lied to yourself. When I finally saw this fact that I am not that important to him, every other memory that we had together seemed different and more clear. I remember my parents and my siblings always asking me before our marriage: are you sure you want to marry him? What is the rush? Give it more time.. try going out with another person. Maybe you like some body else more. You deserve more attention...

I can see now, what they saw then.

I am a fool. I heared that there is always a person who loves the other one more. I am that person. It is fine . But my other person does not love me enough.

[JustMeAtHome]

I'm also new to this site, but wanted you to know that you are not alone. I was in the same position many years ago and was a habitual "bad picker". Every partner I chose was not the right fit for me and many of them were abusive in different ways. Just know that you are not alone and this does not need to define you.

[Schatten in reply to JustMeAtHome]

Oh I am so happy that you wrote me a reply. Thank you so much. 🌷

I wish you all the best things.

[Hidden]

Gosh, I'm so sorry to read of your struggles right now. I feel that you need a trusted person to talk to, whether it's a friend or therapist, if you can. Marriage conflicts can be complex and I understand. Sending hugs your way.

[Schatten in reply to Hidden]

Hi , I appreciate your reply. Thank you so much. 🌷💕 I do feel like I need to talk to my friend or my sister. I am just not sure yet if I want to open up..

You know, I want to give it more time. Maybe we can fix our problems like just between the two of us.

thanks again.

[Hidden in reply to Schatten]

I know what you mean, not being ready to open up. I understand that. I don't open up to my family bc I'm afraid of being judged or not believed. Hug

[catsrock]

You are not a fool - you are someone trying very hard to make a relationship work. Marriage is hard and we don't hear enough about the struggles involved. I saw an interview once with Emma Thompson where the interviewer asked her what the secret was to being happily married so many years and she said, "Not all of those years were happy." I was like, yes! I'm glad you posted and I hope you find some peace in your situation soon.

[Schatten]

Oh my god! Thank you so much. I wish peace for you too. 🌷🙂

[Tealpillow]

I waited six years to agree to marriage because I was so afraid of being in an unloving relationship (my dad is on his 4th marriage). Fast forward 16 years and there have been many times when I’ve felt hurt, unloved, unwanted by my husband. Exactly what I was afraid of. He has ADHD so I’m not sure if that is considered neurodivergent but the medication he takes makes him an thoughtless cranky a**hole. We’ve talked about divorce a few times but with 3 kids and a crappy economy, it’s really hard to be single parents. So we are at a point where we just exist in the same house.

Looking back, I feel stuck because of how many years I put up with feeling like an unlovable burden to my spouse. It has hurt my self worth, outlook on life, and contributes heavily to my depression and anxiety. I wouldn’t wish these feelings on my worst enemy. I know every relationship is unique and I am not trying to say this is going to happen to you. I’m just a walking cautionary tale 😆

[Schatten in reply to Tealpillow]

I am so sorry to hear about your problems.

It might be rude to ask this, I don't know..

I apologise if it is.. you do not have to answer. but I have to ask,

Do you regret staying in your relationship?

Like if you had the chance to go back in time and just say no to the marriage request, would you ?

Right now I feel like I mighttttt have made a mistake. Because apparently he lied to me, he is an addict, and he loves his vape more than me...

Of course he has soooooooo many good qualities as well. And I for sure love him. But what I wonder is that, is it a mistake to continue on this path with him? I might be too skeptical or overthink a lot. But it bothers me. I feel like happiness has left me.. 😞

[Tealpillow in reply to Schatten]

I’m an open book so no worries! I think if I’m being honest, yes I do regret getting married. I’m grateful for my 3 kids, house, career etc. But internally I’m a mess: it’s sad not being able to connect with my husband. Im at the point where I don’t try anymore because the rebuffs are too painful. You described it well - the happiness I used to feel melted away. And people used to describe me as bubbly/ray of sunshine.

He has a lot of good qualities which makes living together palatable …. But not joyful.

I’m sorry you are experiencing even a touch of some of this. It’s so hard and I most likely don’t have the best advice because I’m still in the muck of it.

Sending you strength and support!

[Marysblue]

I've also felt loneliness this week.. and even though I'm very much alone I don't feel it very often like this.

[Schatten in reply to Marysblue]

Oh, sorry to hear that. It's good that you don't feel it that much. It's a win I'd say!

[Marysblue in reply to Schatten]

Thank you I'm sorry you feel that way too.

[Tealpillow in reply to Marysblue]

Hugs to you both

[Schatten in reply to Tealpillow]

Hugs to you too 🤗

[PinkLight]

Hi, I’m new here too. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Sending you love and a big hug. I’ve been feeling lonely for a long time too, but recently it’s gotten worse. I applaud you for sharing your truth. Now you have a chance to process it in your own time and decide what comes next for you. No matter what you decide to do or not do, please know that you are seen and also protected. You do deserve to be treated with love, attention, kindness, gentleness, and care.🤗

[Tealpillow in reply to PinkLight]

This was beautiful

[Schatten in reply to PinkLight]

Hi, thanks for your calming words.Yes , we all deserve love, attention, kindnes and..

I wish all of this for you dear PinkLight.

I can not lie but writing here really helped me a lot. I mean I was not so sure about it at first but now I can see the miracle of getting help from others and simply just talking here.

[BedBug]

I have been there. You are not a fool. Alot of us make the same mistake. You have to put it behind you and move on. You are bigger than this. Hang in there. It does get better.