First post: why I came here.

[Gradients-of-Blue]

I have been depressed as long as I could remember. It has and probably always be a part in my life, and I haven't fully come to accept that but I know for now I have to work with it. I realized something that is affecting me as a person. I can't emotionally trust anyone, and it wasn't until a recent argument with my S.O. that I realized that I never opened up to them. Then I saw a pattern, I couldn't make a friend, stay in contact with anyone let alone family, and it's been years. I've emotionally isolated myself, and it's affecting everything. I know why I got to this point, though it was more of a subconscious decision, but now I can't figure out how to trust people.My therapist suggested trying to be vulnerable with my partner to start, but I have no clue how without accidentally making an arguement. I feel right now I need to talk to people in general.

[Perriex]

This is a safe, supportive place. Good on you for reaching out.

Welcome.♡

~P

[Gradients-of-Blue in reply to Perriex]

Thank you, I appreciate it.

[Montana136]

Hi Gradients of BlueTalking without creating an argument with your significant other, I'm thinking you need a well thought out statement of your feelings. That means you use "I feel" statements. That way you're speaking from your perspective honesty being forthcoming but don't make it like a huge long conversation. Your significant other might not relate to you very well, and that would reinforce that you cannot trust others. Those of us who do not relate to anxiety and depression usually want to help but just don't know what to do. I would start by writing "I feel" statements down on paper and then rereading it after a pause to see if it says what you meant to say. Your feelings are not wrong, anybody who argues with you and tells you you shouldn't feel that way, isn't very enlightened. Say the most important things welcome their opinion and remember that we are here for you, we relate, we understand, here on this platform.

I hope you're able to open up to your significant other. It'll change things between the two of you and it might change them for the better. You never know!!

Have a good night and be well.

Montana

[Gradients-of-Blue]

My partner understands depression and anxiety, and I do my very best to use I statements. It's a very strange situation of I express my feelings and it hits too close to home for them, kind of like watching a movie of grief when you lost someone. They get defensive, and I understander stand It's a learning curve situation, but I can't force my way past something like that. They don't use repeated methods to cope as far as I can tell, and talking about it gets them defensive. Doesn't mean I won't stop trying but for now I need support without a wall to climb. I know they will eventually get over this learning curve and I will be here chearing them on. In the mean time I am glad I get to talk to people like you <3 thank you for the support

[Montana136 in reply to Gradients-of-Blue]

Hi I understand if your stuff triggers their stuff, then their defensive. This means you have to walk a balance between sharing too much and sharing too little. And maybe who you share with.

Whenever I needed, this community has been available. I always get some kind of response to a post. And we understand we relate we empathize. So if ever someone in your personal life can't hear what you're saying, we can. Come back often. This is a good place. I have felt very good since I've joined in June.

Take care of yourself and be well. 🌞✌️

[designguy]

You've made a good start on being vulnerable by reaching out here, welcome.

[HisDaughter]

I believe that talking to people in general is a good idea. We all will do some things in life that are not the best of us, but it's never too late to start doing something beneficial for us. I hope that you are not being harsh on yourself. And I am sorry you suffer a lot! Support groups are good for many people. And so is group therapy. You could practice opening up, communicating with others, and trusting people by participating in group therapy or a support group where you'll be surrounded by people who have similar struggles. Sharing here is good idea too. I recommend to love yourself and to practice patience when you have a conflict with your SO. You are not doing as bad as it may feel you are. Living with depression is painful and very hard and I hope that you feel much better soon. Be strong and ask God for help. We all need Him.