I hate myself right now

[_Mr_Nobody_]

I feel so sad right now and angry with myself. I'm getting over a breakup and I just can't stop feeling angry with myself. I caused her to want to call things off. Without exaggeration, she was the best woman I've ever met, and because of me we not together anymore. I hate myself for it. I hate myself for not doing more. I'm going to therapy again. I keep thinking why couldn't I have done this before, why did it have to take losing her to see that I was in denial about how bad my condition really is. I don't want her to be a life lesson. I wanted her to be my wife.

[Wakeboarder24]

therapy is a great idea in my experience

[Hidden]

you want to put your best foot forward but reality check we have flaws. Change the person so they are best version. Second chances. Might still happen. Find out if still single and willing

[b1b1b1]

Would it be possible for you to call her and explain/apologize? Unless you did something truly terrible, she might be willing to give you another chance. Maybe wait a bit, and then suggest a low key meeting for coffee. If she agrees, explain from the bottom of your heart. If she is no longer interested, however, you will have to find a way to move on. If you care that much it is worth taking a chance and calling her. x

[_Mr_Nobody_ in reply to b1b1b1]

She moved to another country for work.

[Gingerbreadman1978]

only thing you can do is contact her if you can tell her how you feel then the ball is in her court but I wouldn’t constantly text or ring once you have done your bit patiently wait for a reply good luck 👍

[CLB1125]

you can try writing her a letter and tell her you realized what happened and you’re working on it. Let her know how much she means to you. If she feels the same way she may want to start over. If she doesn’t then maybe it wasn’t meant to be. But continue to work on yourself. You have a lot to give to the right person. Good luck

[b1b1b1]

Other countries have phones and, as has been pointed out above, you can write a letter.

[_Mr_Nobody_ in reply to b1b1b1]

I meant we can't meet up for coffee because she's in a different country. I still have her phone number and could send her a text but she made it clear that she needs time away from me. She said that she wants me to go to therapy first before she talks to me again. We still friends but it's weird

[b1b1b1 in reply to _Mr_Nobody_]

Well, that sounds promising. You say you are going to therapy, so that is the first step. In hopefully not to long a time period you will be able to talk again and see what happens from there.

[_Mr_Nobody_ in reply to b1b1b1]

Yeah I'm looking forward to that day. I'm conflicted about it though. I fully understand where she's coming from but understanding her pov means that I can't be more than friends with someone I am deeply in love with. I'm not someone that just falls in love with people so when I do, that feeling doesn't fade easily it takes a very long time. I still have that love for a friend I fell for. It's been 7 years since we last spoke. It took me 5 years to get over the feelings for my highschool girlfriend. It's really tough for me to let go of someone

[_Mr_Nobody_ in reply to b1b1b1]

These lyrics kind of explain how I see how things went with her

Esmerelda - Ben Howard

Oh, blinded, now I see that I

Could not hold you

My orange tree left in the darkened

Room for three of us to share

Oh, maybe you were free before my

Blackened wind covered you

I took the sing from your song

I made a bed

Where you don't belong

Oh poor me, she fell beneath the wheels to help me up

Black Sea, I failed to be a light you found in love

Oh poor me, she fell beneath the wheels to help me up

Black Sea, the monster killed the melody you loved

Now, I'm going places on my own

Blinded, now I see the death moves amongst us

And with such ease arrived to surround us

These silent beasts are hard to bear

Lonely, oh no not me

I have a grave to dig

Fast moving feet, you gave me light

Where it once was gone

I made a bed

Where you don't belong

Poor me, she fell beneath the wheels to help me up

Black Sea, I failed to be the light you found in love

Oh poor me, she fell beneath the wheels to help me up

Black Sea, the monster killed the melody you loved

Now, I'm going places on my own

[Lve2dance in reply to _Mr_Nobody_]

Sometimes space helps. Wait a little bit to contact her.

[Toddzen]

Relationships brought me no lasting happiness. Just deep suffering and suicidal thoughts after the break ups. Eventually I gave up and I accepted being single. It hasn't been easy. But it's a relief not to go through the pain of being rejected or worse cheated on.

[_Mr_Nobody_ in reply to Toddzen]

Doesn't seem like a healthy way to live

[Toddzen in reply to _Mr_Nobody_]

It's healthy for me. I'm 63 year old. I'm not chasing after a Relationship to bring me happiness. Good luck on finding love. Some people do find it.

[Lve2dance]

We are here for you.. Therapy is another great place to share..