HAVE YOU EVER HAD A TIME WHEN YOU HATED YOURSELF. WELL THATS ME. I ALWAYS WANTED A BIG BUTT AND FLAT STOMACH BUT VERY HARD TO GET. I NOTICE LOT OF WOMEN OUT HERE HAS THAT AND I DONT. I GET SO FRUSTRATED CAUSE I WISH I HAD THEY SHAPE OR I WISH I HAD WHAT THEY HAVE. SOMETIMES I LOOK AT MYSELF AND WONDER WHY CANT I LOVE MYSELF. I FEEL LIKE MOST MEN LOOK AT WOMAN AND WANT THEM CAUSE THEY HAVE BIG BOOTY AND BIG TITTIES. SO I TRY AND FIX MY SHAPE BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK. I LITERALLY HATE MYSELF ALL THE TIME CAUSE I WANT TO BE LOVED ALL AT ONCE AND NOT FOR MY BODY!
WHY DO I HATE MYSELF: HAVE YOU EVER HAD... - Anxiety and Depre...
WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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Kboo25
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52 Replies
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I understand how you feel I sometimes hate how I look but I accept it because it’s just the way I am . I used to be so self conscious I still am to this day thankfully wearing modest clothes since 8th grade because I am a hijabi it has saved a lot of my troubles made me feel more confident and more comfortable 😄 honestly wear clothes that makes you comfortable 😄🙏
I ACCEPT IT TO BUT ITS NOT THE WAY I WANT TO BE. ITS LIKE MOST WOMEN OUT HERE GOT SURGERY OR ITS FAKE AND I DONT WANT NOTHING FAKE BUT NO MATTER IF ITS FAKE OR NOT MEN LOVE WOMEN WITH BOOTYS LIKE ITS SAD BUT I ALWAYS FELT THAT MY WHOLE LIFE LITERALLY
you need to accept your feelings and push through them you don’t have to copy anyone to be beautiful or accept that is what I learned
I don’t wanna be anybody but me but if I can’t get anybody cause I don’t have what other people got then I will never have anything
You can have something I am not even in a relationship I feel so happy feel joy because of supportive kind people
All types of women find true love including obese ones, very skinny ones, those with stomachs etc. Few women actually have big butts and a flat stomach so you are setting yourself up for failure if you are relying just on that to attract men.
I am not exactly gods gift but have never had any problems finding dates when I was younger. True men will go for physical appearance but if that's all you have then you won't keep them.
What men find most attractive is women who have good personalities and most of all are comfortable in their own skin. Confidence is a big attraction.
I feel comfortable within myself I just hate that I can’t love my body and the way I am in general .. I want to be super healthy and get fit and do it the right way but it’s like I lost so. I have weight and haven’t gained in other areas and it’s so annoying .. I get irritated cause I have to find the right size I wanna be skinny and have a washboard stomach so I can grab what I want out the stores and not look and stuff it can be very frustrating at times and that’s why I’m trying to get myself together .
let me tell you that that is very common in women, because of how we are raised, we are raised for the male gaze, and for the approval of others through our beauty, what you are describing that you "can't" is actually real. You've been socially conditioned to belive exactly what you are beliving, and the exposure of images of women like that gives you the impression that with beauty you can have social status, and social benefits, and it is a reality, most women get praised only for looks, but that's because we humans have still a standard of beauty and we have this extreme pressure on women to perform in that way. And man, with toxic masculinity reinforce those things. if you are heterossexual, i advise you to find a man who is more inteligent to this ideas about social roles and stuff, because you are a queen my lady, don't ever outshine your crown, and try to fit in in this sick society. I bet you are sexy, and beautiful, and i know i haven't seen you but women in general have magic, are godesses, and you really need to be choosing better in terms of people you surround yourself with, and having people celebrate your beauty. It's normal to have insecurities tho, and you should share it with a partner who sees you and wants what is best for you.
Hope it helped
Why do you hate yourself? What did you do wrong?
That’s the thing I don’t do anything wrong ... I hate myself cause it seems like i never had a man to love me for me and want everything in another woman.. it’s some things that I don’t have that other woman do.. I get so irritated within myself cause I can’t be like other woman.. they have so much more to offer and I work hard for. Everything I do .. but still nothing is good . I don’t know why I hate myself at times I get tired of looking at the world and knowing they have way more than what I got. It’s sad
I can't be like other men apparently. Old, poor, bald, pudgy, I'm invisible too. From puberty to this day, I have had an unbroken string of rejection. Women have never had any interest in me at all and at 56 now, it looks like that's unlikely to change.
BUT...I don't hate me. My family loves me, my church family loves me, and most of all, God loves me. He intended me to look the way I do and to have the eccentric personality I have that women don't like -- it all has a holy purpose.
In 1994 I came to the point where I was seriously considering getting a gun and eating it. I then remembered an event in 1982 when I was 17.
A man from an obscure sect had befriended me and we went on a camping trip in the White Mountains of New Hampshire. Night had come and it was so dark there that if my hand was one inch from my nose I couldn't have seen it. Sam, this man, said it was time to meditate. I was a kid, I was thinking only about baseball, the Red Sox and their series with the Milwaukee Brewers that weekend. We had to sit "Indian style" on the floor of the tent and though I'm supposed to have a little bit of Indian blood in me (Seneca tribe, I think), my knees just don't take that very well. The point being that I was a little irritable, mind on other things as you would expect from a teenager, not the least bit interested in "meditating" at all. Okay, fine, let's get it over with, humor the guy.
Next thing I know, I saw a soft but brilliant white-yellow light. I saw hanging in that light vines, spring green, with those sort of heart-shaped leaves that have a point on the end. When I say hanging in the light, I mean it literally. There was no wall, tree, or anything else for them to hang on.
Then the vines drifted off to the left and then I saw myself running into the arms of Jesus. He was a head taller than me but we were both in robes that were made of light and we were both made of light. (Probably the closest description I can give is if you took a pencil and sketched pictures of each of us on a light bulb. Except my now long-gone hair was brilliant red.) And that was it. Just 7 or 8 seconds.
The very next day after I got home, my very first episode of severe depression started. I would hear the guitar riff from "Down On Main Street" from Bob Seger and it would play over and over in my head, and at this point, still very young but already a fairly long series of rejections under my belt, things started to seem futile. After a few months I came out of it. Then it returned in 1987, again I came out of it after a few months. Then in late 1993 it returned -- to stay. I have had GAD, dysthymia with spikes of severe depression ever since.
In that moment in 1994 when I said what I thought might be my last prayer and considered getting a gun, I remembered that night in the White Mountains. I knew why Jesus had come that night, to prepare me for this. Though I have had some VERY tough times since then, lots of tears and agony, I have never since then seriously considered suicide. I was going to have a life that would be difficult, in many ways make no sense at all, my biggest dream of having a woman to love would be frustrated at least until this very moment, and quite possibly right through to the end, but it would have a holy purpose. I know that part of that purpose is talking to you right now.
God wants to use you to talk to other people just like you. Don't give up. If you do, someone, maybe many someones, might die because you weren't there to talk to them.
Thanks so much. Really good post
I feel the same way about myself too. This is coming from a male perspective. I have always wanted to look like Chris Hemsworth but I am not him. That is the issue is we compare ourselves to others and that only causes us pain. Like Hb2003 said, we need to learn to love who we are. Are you mad that you are not a power lifting champion? What about being the words fastest sprinter are you mad that you are not that? We can't always be the best or look the best at any one thing. It's just never going to happen. Also, I know this is cliche but beauty is subjective. You pointed out women having surgery or having fake whatever and while there is a market for that there is also a lot of people who don't like that. I know it's hard but it all comes down to loving who we are. That doesn't mean you can't work to better yourself. It just means you are being kind to yourself and acknowledging you have value as you are.
I agree with this Wholeheartedly
Yeah I get what your saying for sure .. I just think if I had that would I be a better person and fill more confident within myself or would it make me more happier I really don’t know cause I never had it ... it sucks for a lot of us woman out here that can’t get what we truly want
But that is assuming having more material things will make you happy. And it also assumes the people who have those things are happy. This is simply not true. Again, it comes back to making yourself happy. You will never be happy if you are looking for it through others eyes You will never be content with yourself if you are constantly looking at how everyone else sees you. Even supermodels get ridiculed. There is no pleasing everyone. It just won't happen. Work on yourself and work towards your being the best you that you can be. That is what will make you happy.
I try everyday really hard and I’m continue to do my best I guess there are some really true down to earth men left in this world!
You are doing great. Just remember that you have value and that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity just like everyone else.
You can say that again. I feel a whole lot better now
Good. I am glad.
It feels good to talk to people about what I been going through my whole life just ain’t never let it out !
It's helpful to vent. Don't bottle things up, it never ends well.
I just had a talk with my dude and I literally just told him everything I said in these messages and literally bout broke down.. cause I can’t find myself or I’m my happy with myself .. I just wish this was a way I can fix this
I am sorry you are going through this. But again, you must realize that these material things will not make you happy. In all honesty, even if you did have the things you wanted you would still feel insecure about this issue. In fact you would feel worse and because you would ask, "I have everything why is it still not enough?" Again, happiness doesn't come from others it comes from you. You are the only one who can make yourself feel better about this. Going further, I am not attacking you just saying. Humans are visual creatures. People will always look at others. That doesn't mean you are any less or not good enough. Again the issue isn't what you think you lack. The issue is assuming that you would be happy with those things to begin with. And you wouldn't be. As I already mentioned you would run into the same issues. You have to make yourself happy and accept yourself for who you are. No one can ever do that for you. Nothing else will ever do that for you.
Yes you are right ... your not attacking me you honestly are being straight up and I need that like foreal. I always question myself what if i had a huge ass and big butt would it make a difference and I question that as well. So yeah your right I need to find happiness within myself and start loving myself unless I won’t get any better and I wanna get better with this but it is really hard and I need help literally!
I know it's hard. But it all comes down to the truth. You know that having those things wouldn't make you happy. It just wouldn't because your problem isn't that you don't have those things it's that you want others to see you as if you did have those things. That is you looking for others approval. the only approval you need is your own. Even if you had what you believed to be the perfect body, I guarantee you that the same issues you have now would still happen regardless. How many women have been cheated on who have a body that you think is perfect? I bet you the answer is pretty high. Love yourself and realize that your value and worth doesn't come from the validation of what men think of your ass. It comes form you and what you think of yourself as a person. Remember you are more than a body.
GEESH ARE YOU GOD OR SOMETHING YOU MAKE ME FEEL A WHOLE LOT BETTER LIKE FOREAL. YES I ALWAYS THOUGHT WHAT OTHER WOMAN WENT THROUGH WITH THE PERFECT BODIES AND HONESTLY I CAN IMAGINE. LIKE FOREAL
Not god just realistic and pragmatic. Everyone has struggles. It's why we all need to learn to be okay with who we are. That is the key to being happy.
I’m gonna start working on that more. If I start loving myself and making myself believe that I am beautiful and smart and don’t need all the necessary stuff that I been wanting my whole life . I will be fine it’s just hard trying to live like you should and telling yourself everyday that your going to get your goals and just start within yourself
It is hard. But it's worth it. Keep going and you will get there faster than you think. Also stop seeking validation from others. Especially about your looks. That is only going to get you hurt. There is no other outcome with that. Pain is all that road leads to.
Yes today starts a new day and I will move right and be the best I can be ... I don’t really seek validation I just can feel it or sense it from other people. I hate being hurt and I want to be happy but I can’t be happy alone I have to do this for myself and the rest of the people I’m surrounded by
That is a great start already.
Come on you know those people with big boobs and a big butt hate themselves too because people call them sluts or because they get more attention than they want. People always want what they don't have and often when they finally get it they're no longer satisfied with it and would rather have something else. Come on you know you are beautiful. Find the one thing you love and the one thing you have that others wish they had or could be like and let me know what it is (and you have something I know you do whether it's your smile or height or it's you hugs or joy you have got something.).
Yes I seen that before like foreal. I feel like them type of people get a lot of attention and some of them don’t like what they have. I would love myself more if I have the things that I want and so on and so on. I’m working on loving myself
How are you? I feel you heh! Many people feel like that. While my boobs are big, they are not firm. While I do have a flat stomach I don't have butts. I love how I look. I don't look like miss universe but I definitely don't look like a monkey. What I am finding from your post is confirming what I have been thinking all long. I believe it is more important what I think because I only act on what I think, not on what others think. Television has shown us copy cats, lowself esteem people who now look like dolls. This to many seem good but to me, it seems like very low self esteem. If a person is famous, they will be talked about famously. What I mean is that, we are not gossiping but speaking about famous people. These people have done diff plastic surgeries which to me is absolute hatred for how one looked before. Any person who has done any plastic surgery except for medical reasons is fake and has theeee lowest self esteem. I have seen people who have done such surgeries having failed relationships and marriages. Can a person be loved just because they look in a certain way? I believe they can be attractive which can lead to love if there is a connection but that is not how real love is based on. Yes, we can not see a person entering a club and say, "wow, what a beautiful soul". We can't see peoples souls, we only see after some time. It is however important to look healthy and neat. If you don't mind, can you describe your shape if you don't mind because I feel you are nice looking, you are just comparing yourself with people who have used money to look different who have theeee lowest self esteem and made you believe this is how they were born.
Having a flat tummy and a big arse might make you more popular but it doesn't mean that people will like you.
I was into Bodybuilding etc years ago but because I enjoyed it, not because I wanted people's attention.
Just be a good honest person and people will genuinely like you and befriend you.
not all dudes but i get what u are saying i know alot of my freinds hit on my sister and i hate it why cant other dudes not like women for there body and for who they are and how they treat u but it isnt all about that u just be you dont hate your self for somthuing your not those girls they just want guys who like they for there beuty and not there personality or how they treat you so dont hate yourself cause other girls do stuff just to get noticed you will evantully find somone who doesnt care about your body
I think I have I just gotta start loving myself more
thays good but u dont need to have a flat stomach and all this just for a dude who doesnt really love you just be you and that is a diude can ask for
That makes a lot of since. you guys are really helping me out a lot with this because now I have determined that I am on a strict diet and doing cardio and taking weight loss supplements .. if nobody can see that I wanna change my body for me and not a man than that’s their problem I’m gonna promote myself into being better. And loving myself more.
tats te attitude i hope it goes well and i am happy your are loving yourself more
Well, not for you, but I found Aly art on youtube, about body types. I hated myself so much I DENIED my shape. Now I know: I am a soft gamine and I try to adapt my style to my body shape and it feels instantly better.
ive definitely felt this way but all I think about is how I have one life and everyday is guaranteed so why compare my self to other people especially people who I see online, all of them go through millions of dollars in treatment to look that way. I started working out to try to get my dream body but quickly realized i'm not doing it for the perfect body im just doing it to try to be my best self, we aren't all meant to look the same and people love us for who we are even if we don't love ourselves. I hope you feel better soon and realize how much you're worth the way you are!
Yes I been feeling this way for years and I lost a ton of weight and then I always questioned myself on why other women had so much more in body than me . It’s like nobody wants to help me or tell me there secrets into getting a bigger butt and doing weight loss and how they are achieving their goals so I took my own effect and did some research and figure out how they get their bodies to look the way it looks and honestly most women is doing surgery and I’m not finna be like them other woman in this world I want to do it the right way all natural and not pay for anything but my diet foods and weight loss clothes. A lot of women are lucky to have their shapes but some are not lucky. Trying to love myself and doing cardio with healthy dieting is definitely going to get me to my journey
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