Its no story to tell ok? Im in a very dark place atm and I’m considering trying to find a way out! Im sick and tired of ppl and everything connected! Thats it!!
Whats The Point: Its no story to tell... - Anxiety and Depre...
Whats The Point
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Toymaker357
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53 Replies
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the older I get the more I don’t like people either be thankful for what you have your health the people around you close family your children every one else out of that circle don’t matter we have a dog and that dog is more precious to me than some people I know don’t know what else to say chin up and smile and carry on today is a new page in a diary yesterday is gone good luck 👍
Ok my friend ty
Can you say why you are in such a dark place? I think the dark place will not last forever, but I understand how bad it can feel. I don't know if you are in the US or UK, but they both have a help line, so please use it if you need to. Please let us know how you are. People on this site care and I care. Take care of yourself; you are important. xx
Hi and thankyou for ur concern but I’m on anti-depressants and they work. But only to a point until I become annoyed with people. Everyone thinks Im fine and dandy...I have everything a man could ever want. I just dont see any point in waiting for my health to decline and be dependent on others like my dad did. My wife of 23yrs who is a great lady...her well dried up after menopause and that ended what little fun was left to enjoy for me. I wont cheat on her but I miss intimacy, holding and the joy of being in love. My grown kids dont talk to me anymore...why...Idk. Was a good dad to them...anyways yes...I’m in the USA. Shrinks wont be of any help to me either unless they can restore my wifes libido or make my kids talk to me again. 🤣👌🏼 Hava great day and ty
Has your wife seen a gynecologist? She probably cannot take estrogen by mouth, but most gynecologists will prescribe estrogen cream which is supposed to help. I believe there are other remedies also, as this is a very common problem.
Thankyou for the reply. Short answer...she wont share her intimate thoughts or personal health issues. She’s a beautiful lady & at 67 shes stills gorgeous & drives me nuts sexually. I’m 66 and feel like I’m in the prime of my life sexually. She cut me off from sex yrs ago & I’ve tried everything short of begging(ok, I’ve begged)and still I get a big fat “NO”!! So no means no...I get it but damnit...its not fair to me for chrissakes! We had great sex up until her menopause and shes even applauded me for my performance in bed. She says its her and not me so...here I am....miserable and going to waste. Anyways, thats some of the depression but I have tons more crap going on with my grown ass kids too! Damn! Theres not enuf space on this page for all the bitching I have piled up! Good grief Im sounding like a sorry ass man complaining cause he aint getting laid anymore...Hahahha!! Like I said in my topic..”Whats the point of living anymore”? Have a great day my friend and ty for listening. 😉👌🏼
PS. I really think antidepressants would help you. Do you think you could look into them?
Im on everything and they work but to a point. Tired of pills, ppl and life ok sorry
Please call 988 the Crisis Prevention Line in the U.S. they R very compassionate and supportive
Thanks for the offer but alls that will do is alert everyone that I’m coo-coo or weak. I hate weak men and I’m starting to fall into that catagory. grrrrr!
" I hate weak men and I’m starting to fall into that catagory. grrrrr! "
Here.. 988 number aside for a sec.
You're not weak for asking for help. (and BTW, I'm being a little bit of a hypocrite here, because I too struggle with asking for for help myself as a male)
.
But, for me it's a little bit different, because it was easier for me to ask for help in my previous support group (which I was in for almost 20 years), then online. (which sadly I'm "still" trying to adjust to)
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With all that said..
If there is one thing that I learned a long time ago is the attitude of what is "socially acceptable" or not for men. (or really humans in general, but I do believe that men tend to have this problem more)
If you have a heart attack, it's socially OK.
If you have a drinking problem, it's socially OK.
If you have a drug problem, it may be socially OK.
If you have an anger problem, it may be socially OK.
If you have a mental health problem, it's not OK and you're weak.
.
You're not weak for asking for help.
.
Just like I spent years trying to help people in my previous support group that, "They aren't weak for needing to take pills". (if they truly did need to take pills)
Again.. I'm being somewhat of a hypocrite here.. because I'm still trying to find my way with what I want to share with others here online.
But (and yes I'm making excuses here) when you've been in a traditional sit down circle helping and also receiving help for as long as I have, you're just more used to that setting, and I'm still trying my best to get used to the "pool water" for an online support group.
.
(Again) You are not weak for asking for help.
Thank you for the reply friend. I appreciate the comments. Ive been off and on like this for awhile now. It comes and goes and I manage thru it somehow. Just sucks everytime and harder to beat as I age.
U R not a weak man. Reaching out for help is a very brave thing to do.
Sadly know the feeling exactly, I am hanging on because i have two cats dependant on me . Devoted 4 decades to my daughter after my husband died when she was 3, now has nothing more to do with me, worse is that I don't see my little grandson. I have a fractured spine, a vax injury confirmed by the hospital and every day the pain is torture. I have paid for a pre paid cremation plan and re done my Will. The only advantage I have over you is i am 10 years your senior. If you have good health, perhaps try to get to the route of the way you feel, good luck.
I'm sorry your last life has been so tough, mine is awful too , it's just awful alone and miserable , but I think it's just a human condition the thing is the other limbo and pain to pay too it's just hopeless, although there r good moments maybe we have been taught to over expect or maybe it's just life feels bad
I'm sorry you are suffering too. It's sad so many people like us. I've never been a lonely person but when you can't get out or do the jobs around the house because of pain then it is lonely. I can honestly say all my life I have never been a taker, always a giver and why it hurts so much the way my daughter is. Maybe I gave too much to compensate losing her father, who knows. I do have 4 friends, two really good ones who check on me every day even though I don't see them.I hope your situation improves x
Thanks for sharing, it's awful when you feel life doesn't treat you with the same respect as you treat life or the same dignity as you treat life , it feels so unfair , so unfair, my healths not getting better no, but I manage , although I think the days are poor quality and the sadness is sad, and the other tough is if I let it pass them the day ends , and everything is done best I can and tolerated best I can , not sure human life is good on earth in earth's gravity maybe life is worse per se but it's horrible thing other people are happier than you or sadder than you, best wishes
Thanks for sharing
Thankyou for sharing that. I also have 2 cats and they loved me from kittens but in my demise someone is here to care for them. Sorry ur kids a brat and doesnt talk to u anymore. My oldest daughter of 3 girls and my second brat dont talk to me anymore either. Dont ask me why, I did my best raising them, supported them financially and bought them cars. What a waste of mine and everyone elses time. I’m sorry to heap more on ur pile alrdy. I’ll be ok
So sorry to hear that. It seems the more you do, the less you are thought of. I took out Cat Protection Guardianship and it's been added to my Will. Take care x
I'm sorry for what you are going through. Nothing is permanent in our lives. You've taken the first move by speaking out. That shows how strong you are. It can feel so dark at times but I believe there's always hope. Always feel free to speak out.
Thankyou so much for the reply. Its really bad when noone(family)has anything positive to say regarding my condition. But its all good...everyone is focused on self and life so I get it. I’ll just continue smiling & hiding my true emotions. I’m a retired trucker, US ARMY vet so I’ve been everywhere and seen alot(good & bad). I’ve accomplished all my life goals so I’m thinking I’m bored with living anymore. I dont see the point of living anymore. Its all either fake, photoshopped or a simulation. Almost everyone I’ve ever loved are dead & gone now. Life is drab, colorless and blank.
Please, you can still find true love. It may come from where you least expect it. Don't loose hope sir because I believe you can still smile again. I was in a very dark place with nothing to lean on. I made the choice to search for happiness and I believe you can do it. I still struggle everyday with sadness but I refuse to give up. It's always sad especially when you've put in a lot to create happiness for people around you but nobody cares when you needed them most. Please know that after darkness comes light. We will always tell our stories by ourselves.
I appreciate your reply and it was very well said and felt good to hear. You’re words warmed my heart...thankyou!
Thank you for being amazing
TRUE LOVE ???? He has a wife for better or worse , richer or poorer and in sickness and in health . Imagine how she must feel … sounds like you might have given up on all of them ? Maybe they hear your down moods and effects them , You make your own happiness try not to dwell on the “poor me side “
. Go volunteer, I have volunteered since my early 20’s everywhere from children to elderly , and hospice many yrs . You will be happy helping others you’ll get the best feeling and honestly won’t have the time or desire to dwell on self .
Lots of people your age and younger weren’t blessed with good health … be thankful for for it and use it to help others that need your help ..
RE: Poor me side
Thats really uplifting for you & I’m happy volunteering helps ur cause. Everyones different...I’ve never enjoyed being around alot of ppl or crowds and esp hospitals. What works for you doesnt appeal to me. So I guess Im just a selfish old bastard thats wants Me Me! Youre probably right...thankyou! So concludes my day.🤯
Exactly 😢
I am sorry you are feeling like this. Please reach out to your GP for some guidance and help. Try get out for a walk or some fresh air
I cant even get out of the damn bed let alone talk a walk in the park. but ty
I have "those days".
If you can't get outside to walk, which I completely understand what that feeling is like on my bad (bedridden) days, then try to at least have a window open a little bit to get some fresh air.
Eventually you "may" get to the point of opening your front door, and standing outside and breathing the outside air (without walking) for 5 minutes.
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After that, it's up to you.
But please know that (either way) we are here for you.
I know how you feel. When I was at the height of my depression I did not want to leave my bed for weeks. I might still be in that hole (or worse) now if I didn’t have my family to drag me out.
Did you ever try Wellbutrin ( generic) with Lexepro ? I know someone that it’s helped tremendously. WB in am … Lexipro ( sleepy) at bedtime .
Sorry for my dumb response earlier. In regards to ur earlier question. Yes...I’m being seen by my GP and have bn on antidepressants for alot of years now. Thing is...they work but up to a point. When Im frustrated with ppl, family etc Im aggravated by them to the point of no return. I spiral into a full blown depression and takes alot of hard effort to climb out of it. Soooo...yeah! Thats part of it.
I have those days too. People can be frustrating, especially when they don't understand what we're going through. Sometimes it feels like I'm at the bottom of a well and everyone else is up above but I can't get up there.
The intensity of the dark and heavy feelings will pass. I know from experience that you feel like it's going to be forever, but I promise it's not. Try to recognize things in your life that at the very least have the ability to distract you from your most intense feelings. Take the time to do things for yourself that make you feel good (or at least less bad) and give yourself permission to not feel okay while you try to work on it.
We r all equal here we always will be I hope u feel better
Thankyou
I appreciate the thought. I guess being distracted replying to comments helps..at least while I’m doing it. Otherwise its back to same ol same. I know its me bcz those around me are oblivious to what Im saying here. They think I’m living like the saying in So Cal “LIFES A BEACH” but Im not enjoying anything. Im tired alrdy thinking abt moving out of this chair. Im in great shape for my age(66), Im just sick of everybody and going on seems unbearable...I dont see the point of it all anymore. What a waste of you guys space and time. I’m sorry....
Hi Toymaker357I'm really sorry you feel like this, it must be awful.for you. Becsuse you havnt said why you feel this way, it's difficult to help. All I know is that from personal experience, it helps to talk to someone? Have you tried to talk to a professional? Or even friends and family? I really do hope you find help and start ro feel better.
People can suck and people can be lifesavers....it's all about being more selective for me now. I'm not so quick to jump on anyone's bandwagon until I get to know them. And the ones that are jerks....boundaries and no contact works for me. I know we have to deal with jerks at work and at stores and banks and DMV's and all that....but remember....this is on them...not you. They are just miserable curmudgeon's who probably hate their life at home and the only power they have in life is to be a jerk to people a work. Same goes for everyday people in our lives we have to interact with, some are nice, some are not....stick with the winners....the nice people. We have to develop a veneer if you will when having to deal with jerks, we don't let them into our heads because they don't deserve to rent any space there....when you walk away...leave them behind. And know your a better person for not being like them.
Thanks for the reply...appreciate those tips. They do work as youve said...Im just getn older and it sucks...sucks bad. Idk how else to explain it without being to graphic so I’ll just let it be. Thanks again friend 😉👌🏼
I hear ya , I'm 70 this year.....and gravity sucks
I appreciate the offer friend but I’m an atheist and non-believer. Not believing has nothing to do with my current state of mind thankyou
Hi Toymaker357, Much respect to you for your service to your country. Have you ever thought of how you might advise a fellow veteran who is in a similar situation as you are?
Toymaker357• in reply to
Hi Charlottel and ty for the reply. I’d have to understand what era veteran we’re talking abt so I can understand their pain. I’m a Vietnam era US ARMY vet so Idk how to help any fellow soldier after that war. Every war has its own set of circumstances. Same as WWII vets dont expect anyone nowdays to understand the mental battles they suffered.
I have a son serving in the Navy and have read about a lot of mental illness going on with sailors living aboard ships at port for months to years on end and tragic suicides going on there. Your experience is far different from theirs however. From the outside looking in, it would appear that you have lived an amazing life this far and have family kids grandkids cats etc which are all things that we tend to cling to when in despair. I’m not doing well either these days but just wanted you to know that you’re not alone in your thoughts. I won’t rehash the advice that others have given you here but we really do care. I think you should be grateful for the things that you nave achieved and be there for the ones that need you. Your kids and grandkids deserve to have you in their lives. Think of them! Be well my friend.
I know ur trying to help and ty hon but its easier said than can be done. My kids live 2,500mi from me so physical contact is impossible. Long as they dont dial my number I wont ever hear from them. No addresses, phone numbers...yep! Soooo...yeah...I’m frustrated. My accomplishments mean nothing to me anymore bcz noone knows abt them nor do they care. Im sounding pretty miserable and Im sorry...ty for being here.
Geez, I thought because I have no kids that that is one of the reasons that I feel So alone & depressed, etc. When my Sig. Other passed last Nov. I was, & still feel SO very alone, sad, anxious, fearful & depressed. But, I see from yours & these posts that having kids is not the answer (at least for some)! I am hoping that your wife can see a doctor that can perhaps help her with the problem that you mentioned. Or, maybe marriage counseling for both of you. Just suggestions that you have probably thought of, anyway. Re. people --sometimes, I feel the exact same way that you stated --I have helped people (family & friends) & feel that I haven't rec. the same support. But, I am not sorry that I helped as it was out of love (maybe some guilt, but mostly love)! Yes, some people have disappointed me, too! I, also, have found some beautiful, caring, and kind people who want & do help me. So, those people are out there; but, I do think there aren't many of them. Most people I find are quite wrapped up in their own stuff (sometimes, I feel that way & it's not good as I need to get out of my head & all the GD negative thoughts that swarm, at times. Hope that you find the support that you need. Thanks for all the sharing on this site --Very helpful.
Thankyou so much for ur kindly words as it helps alot to know theres some ppl that do really understand. Far as kids go..from my viewpoint...its not worth it. Seriously! I busted my b***s for them girls but anyways. You havent missed much in my opinion. But the kids arent my real problem theres tons other issues here. The wife....well shes from the Bronx, NY and Puerto Rican to boot. So when they say no thats it...trust me. They dont share intimate info and very stubborn. But its not fair to make me suffer due to her closing the door on the subject forever. God I feel so weird telling u all this but damn getting it off my chest right now felt amazing! Thankyou for being here.
Welcome! I just got this new computer so back on HU! Good that you can have HU to get your feelings out, and a place like this that understands. Too bad that your wife is So stubborn. You both need to want help, and hope that things will work out, somehow.
Hang in there! If I could find the light ANYBOBY can!
I’m better today yall! I’ll live to bitch another day...lol!! 🤣👌🏼
Good to hear Toymaker357....we'll be here ready to listen
Make it a good day/evening 
xx
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