Anxious

[Trainchaser]

Been anxious for a few weeks. Was in denial but not now. Getting more anxious by the day. Effecting my ability to do things. No ambition as well. Brief moments of suicidal thought. When will it ever end

[northwoodboy]

I hear and feel you - so relevant to me right now. There is a key though God knows where or what the f(*^ it is!

[Trainchaser in reply to northwoodboy]

I wonder why God let's bad things happen to good people

[Montana136]

Hello to you. I'm sorry to hear you're in such an anxious state of mind. It will not change until you start helping yourself. Your post was very brief so I do not know your situation. I suffer from anxiety and what helps me is calming techniques like deep controlled slow breathing so I might be better able to approach my thoughts with logic just to get myself out of the intensity of anxiety. I relate to having suicidal thoughts and can be very scary. I definitely want you to triumph over those scary dark thoughts. Suicide only brings about pain to those you leave behind. Help yourself as much as you can or seek professional outside help. I wish you well!

Montana

[Trainchaser in reply to Montana136]

Thank you for your reply. I have since had a virtual session with my doctor resulting in being put back on a medication I was taking off of. I normally take it at night but today did this morning. Was able to take multiple naps without recalling any dreams. Still tired and look forward to a good night's sleep

[Montana136 in reply to Trainchaser]

Hello Trainchaser, I hope you have been able to get some quality sleep at night. Taking your medicine in the morning instead of night might be a good thing for you I would evaluate closely how you feel does it make you tired, give you more energy in the morning as opposed to night. Think about it as a science experiment evaluate how you feel. Get a notebook write down observations and the times you've noticed them, things like that. Just a suggestion. Something I do sometimes even for entertainment. See how boring my life can be.I don't know what medication you're on but sometimes it can take a while for some medications to build up in your system, you probably know that. And oh God do I know about suicidal thoughts. I have had them often in my long history. Some days I have struggled to stay alive but always managed to win that fight to remain on earth. I do it because I know I can feel better I have felt better and sometimes even happy. I fight because I do matter! even though somewhere deep inside I make choices that don't reflect that always. We all matter! You matter! I truly hope you can find some relief from those thoughts of hopelessness. Today I feel good not great but good and that is a good thing. I hope that there is something in today that you can find some peace comfort even maybe a twinge of happiness. Take care of you! Be well my friend

[Trainchaser in reply to Montana136]

Thanks for your post. Yesterday my doctor put me back a medication he told me to stop. Took all of these around 10 a.m. and was able to take a series of naps and not wake up anxious. Then took pills again at 9 p m. Got the best night sleep all week. At work now I am alert and fully awake. However I took a 20 minute power nap for lunch. Thinking I may of turned the corner on this. Thanks for the idea of Journaling. I will include sleep and if I remember the dream write that down as well. Hope you had a good day Rick

[Montana136 in reply to Trainchaser]

Hi train chaser I am so happy to hear that you are having better sleep. It sounds to me like a really good corner to turn. Journaling is a very good tool. It gets the ickiness out of your body and sometimes if you wait a little bit of time and go back and reread you will notice patterns, triggers, things that keep popping up it's a very good tool for self-awareness. I've been journaling on and off for over 40 years. One of the better tools I have discovered in a lifetime of healing from depression and anxiety and ptsd. Take care of yourself and be well! ✌️🌈

[Starrlight]

I have been anxious today and yesterday more than usual. I feel afraid of nothing, but somehow afraid, still. I guess we can remind ourselves that it can’t hurt us if we really think about it and it will end eventually. Let’s be brave as we tell the feelings that they don’t rule us. I also, like you, have been thinking of leaving this world because I need relief but I won’t act on it it’s just comforting to fantasize.

P.s. writing about the feelings might help us figure things out so keep writing

And best to you

[012703060610]

I type this as I sit in my dark bedroom while the world is beautiful and bright today outside. I am also overly anxious. I don't know what is driving it as I have zero commitments until late Friday. I am having a relatively good day for me and I have no will to do anything, eat or even think. Just another member who totally relates. I want to sleep so badly but can't seem to calm the anxiety enough to let go and relax my brain.

[Trainchaser in reply to 012703060610]

I hear you. I can relate to a lot of your post. The idea of sleep. Trouble sleeping at night sleep some during the day