Do you feel?: With my mental illness I... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Do you feel?

Zeda profile image
Zeda
30 Replies

With my mental illness I have isolated myself for twenty years exactly this month. For the first time I'm so lonely. I find it amazing in what and where you can find beauty that so many people don't recognize. I find people who are so selfish, angry and uncaring. What kind of way is that to be. How am I supposed to meet anyone in a world of so many careless people.

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Zeda profile image
Zeda
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30 Replies
Boston001 profile image
Boston001

I found it Ironic when people were in Covid lockdown that the only thing that changed for me was the mask

LifeIsThePitts profile image
LifeIsThePitts in reply to Boston001

Ha! I KNEW there were others like us! Lockdown was a blessing. Loved it!! 😷Other than not going to work, which is my #1 Dream, collecting free govt 🤑💰, and standing in long lines for metered grocery shopping, my life actually IMPROVED during this time!!

Go🔒lockdown!! It's all the craze🤣

Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to LifeIsThePitts

I thought I was going to end up in jail but a friend of mine convinced me to take advantage of the Covid unemployment, it really was a blessing for lack of a better word. OMFG standing in line outside the grocery store wearing a mask, was an apocalyptic nightmare for my agoraphobia.

LifeIsThePitts profile image
LifeIsThePitts in reply to Boston001

This is me100%...I'd stay home forever if I had the opportunity. I still wear a 😷 mask at work. It's a great barrier to the public.

Meme
Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to LifeIsThePitts

Baby Yoda, haha that was me when I had to get up at 3: Am every day to drive for 16 hours, 5 days a week. Do you know what it's like trying to sleep at 7:Pm with two children in the house? lol.

LifeIsThePitts profile image
LifeIsThePitts in reply to Boston001

Errrr....NO! No progeny by choice. NEVER have I had One day in my life where I thought having mini me's running around would be a good idea. I go to bed by choice by 8 pm multiple nights a week! I'm a really Old soul at the ripe old age of 48.😆

Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to LifeIsThePitts

Early to bed, early to rise, makes a person, well, um, wash pillow cases more often hahahaha

LifeIsThePitts profile image
LifeIsThePitts in reply to Boston001

Lmfao 😂my 🛏️ bed is my refuge and safe place. Sleep is my superpower and escape. Always has been. Today is my mom's bday. She's been gone for 29 years now. I was 19. I'm staying in bed this morning and just "being". Usually I'm out running with my husband and dogs. But today I'm going to be peaceful and loving and gentle with my feelings. It's a historically difficult week as I usually relive the events that lead up to her untimely passing like it was happening all over again. This year I'm trying to break my cycle and focus on being grateful instead of grieving.....I did say I was TRYING 🥴🥺

Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to LifeIsThePitts

I understand the difficulty. I was 15 when my father was taken from us by a drunk driver. I still think about him all the time, February is a hard month to get thru every year. it wasn't until I was in my 30s that I really came to terms with the grief, you never get over it but you learn to go on with it.

LifeIsThePitts profile image
LifeIsThePitts in reply to Boston001

Thanks for the heartfelt reply 🙏 yes... it's a bi- annual event. She passed Oct 4, so every 6 months or so I revisit the grieving process and trauma. Gonna finally reframe the past and put myself into a better emotional response. It's time...

Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to LifeIsThePitts

I am not a spiritual person at all, my belief system is firmly set on scientific facts. That said when my second child came home for the first time, my now ex-wife and I could smell my father's pipe tobacco around her crib, my wife had never met my dad. We were living in a house, my father had never been to. Step 3 feet away from the crib and the sent was gone, step back in and the sent was there, this lasted for over an hour. Don't ask me how but I don't think our loved ones ever go too far from us.

LifeIsThePitts profile image
LifeIsThePitts in reply to Boston001

Woah 😳... that's some crazy beyond the 🪦 grave stuff you can't ignore!!

Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to LifeIsThePitts

Yes spooky but at the same time heartwarming to know that he bridged time and space to visit with his new grandchild ❤️ After that my ex would talk to him whenever something unusual happened, also heartwarming to see her form a relationship with someone she had never met

Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to Boston001

Ooops now i'm crying

Zeda profile image
Zeda in reply to Boston001

I am very scientific and logical but have had my share of the paranormal or supernatural whatever , but maybe because it's me... Hallucinations? Sights, sounds, smells. Who knows for sure. Keep an open mind and love in your heart.

Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to Zeda

I have to agree, I doubt myself from time to time. But when you are there with others, having the same experience it gets exciting! Like my 2017 UFO encounter, I was there with two others and they took a photo. I think it was some kind of military hovering drone. Massachusetts is the home for the U.S. Army Natick Soldier Systems Center, about 20 miles from here.

Zeda profile image
Zeda in reply to Boston001

I'm in Florida and swear I see UFO's but it always turns out military just recently saw new aircraft I swore was a group of UFO's. Wrong again 🤣In Florida you see all kinds of stuff air, water ,ground. It's crazy! You've heard of USO's haven't you?

Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to Zeda

Personally, given the mind-boggling number of planets, there are in the universe. I am certain life is everywhere (algae, bacteria, and other extremophiles). But the more I learn about the history of our moon, how it was formed, and all the benefits it has for life on Earth, the odds of complex life like slugs, worms, and clams I would willing bet are exceedingly rare, we could be alone at this time in the universe. FYI: If you see something you personally can't identify, I'd say that qualifies as Unidentified 😊

12-30-2017
Zeda profile image
Zeda in reply to Boston001

It's very arrogant to think we here on earth is all that exists. Compared to the universe one human isn't as significant as a grain of sand. I believe we have plenty here that is unidentified. With more to come.

Zeda profile image
Zeda in reply to Zeda

Someone asked Hawkins once if he thought aliens would look like us the inhabitants of earth. He replied that most of the inhabitants of earth have six legs and a pair of wings. 😂

Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to Zeda

Sorry if I came a crossed as arrogant. What I was trying to communicate was the "Odds" of the formation of our moon, the timing in Earth's history, the size of the Moon, the rate that it is moving away from the Earth, the way it stabilizes the wobble of the Earth, It drives our tides and circulates warm water to the poles, it drives the magnetic field around the Earth. In my opinion, the Moon is solely responsible for giving us a stable environment for 4 billion years that life needed, and only 500 million years ago was slime able to evolve into worms. It has nothing to do with me being human, but rather the mathematical odds of all those things and more being nearly perfect. Not impossible, but like winning the Powerball jackpot three times in your life perfect. But that's just my opinion. I'm no astrophysics professor just a guy who has watched a lot of documentaries lol

Boston001 profile image
Boston001 in reply to Boston001

I went to a Hawkins lecture once, fascinating guy!

Zeda profile image
Zeda in reply to Boston001

I would love to see him. He also has a great sense of humor.

Zeda profile image
Zeda in reply to Boston001

You didn't come across as arrogant at all. I also watch a lot of documentaries and read. 😉

blueslite profile image
blueslite in reply to Boston001

"...I don't think our loved ones ever go too far from us." What a comforting thought. At least for me it is. But the incident itself is so interesting and, as you said below, heartwarming.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

Zeda

Good people are out there, we just have to find them.

I'm sorry you have been isolated for so long. It's sad that the world out side your walls doesn't feel safe.

You sound like a nature lover? Seeing the other things we have that some don't?

There is no magic answer. We all have to find our way. I do agree the simple things in life bring the most joy

Best wishes

🐬

Zeda profile image
Zeda in reply to Dolphin14

I'm trying to find a way. I manage to attract the wrong kind and not very good at interacting. Anxiety gets in the way. I just don't know how to go about it and recently got burned big time over the internet. I have a problem with being honest with people evidently.

blueslite profile image
blueslite in reply to Zeda

HI Zeda :), I'm not too bad at interacting with people (I think) but I'm very shy and it's difficult for me to be the first to speak or say "hi" to someone. I'm okay online but offline....forget it. Honesty - there are some people who don't appreciate it. LOL

Zeda profile image
Zeda in reply to blueslite

Being honest I've found gets you in more trouble 😵‍💫

LifeIsThePitts profile image
LifeIsThePitts

Just gotta teach ourselves to focus on the people that uplift us and shut out the one's that tear us down. Depression and anxiety sufferers are very sensitive people. We can't be inundated with negativity. It gets absorbed into us if we don't take notice. I've found that surrounding myself with quality people and not paying attention to the trolls and drama is the best decision.

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