What do you do when you can't ?

[kindredone]

What do you do, when you're trying to get use to mood stabilizers and instead you find yourself constantly in the office at the work? I suffering from PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Fibromyalgia. When my pain is bad, I'm short with people. However work says I'm a lose cannon. I've worked this job for 14 years. Anxiety occurs almost daily cause I figure I'll lose my job. I guess I'm not worth even my job.

[LilyAnnepuppy]

If you've been at that job for 14 years why are you afraid you're going to lose it now? Are you getting professional help for your mental health issues?

[kindredone in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

Yes I am, but when they change my mood stabilizers I get thrown off and because I'm not the usual "Nikki" [my name] then I'm not up to their standards.

[c-mac]

I feel the same about my job all the time. Once in a while I'm even right. I think being paranoid all the time can be a self fulfilling prophecy.

But you can see it's a pattern. You can feel it when it's happening. And maybe you can come up with some signs to check for to see if you're overreacting, and then gently turn your attention to other things.

[kindredone in reply to c-mac]

I've tried to ttack it, and it doesn't seem to have solid pattern. ... Like I know I hurt at the beggining of spriing

[c-mac in reply to kindredone]

My bipolar disorder used to have seasonal changes, too. But I think my paranoia at work happened regardless of mood - I feel like it's more psychological, something a therapist can help with, than a physiological problem I need medicine for. (But that's me, and I could even be wrong about that!)

I had such an attack when our HR person said she would visit me when she flew into the country. I assumed it was because I was a problem. But then I mentioned to my boss I was worried I was missing so much work because of my sick kid, and she said it wasn't a problem at all. So maybe it's just my paranoia again. I felt a lot better after asking, anyway.

[kindredone in reply to c-mac]

I do that too! Even if I havent dont anything wrong! Big boss comes in, and I freak out

[No1wthayla]

Hi, Kindredone.

I have anxiety, fibromyalgia, depression, type 2 diabetes and chronic fatigue syndrome. I know how you feel about work. I've had similar issues but all of these medical problems do affect your brain. And it affects the way your brain processes things. I also get short with people so I have to think before I spout out something stupid. I've been here 19 years in April and the last two years has been a struggle to keep my job.

I get Fibro fog all the time. And some days all I want to do at work is play on the computer. Or post on HU all day long. Before I know it it's time to go home and I haven't done anything for work.

I have spoken with our ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) folks who help by getting me tools that I need (better chair for fibro, better keyboard, a way to take a day off if I feel horrible pain (and not get accused of just "calling in" again). They also help with my diabetes and my work knows that if my blood sugar is really high, I can't be any help at work. In fact there is a high level that I should go to the hospital. High blood sugar also makes me very sleepy. I can now shut my door and take a nap (30-60 minutes) without worrying someone would fire me for sleeping at work.

Talk to your boss. Or talk to a counselor at work if there is one available. Find a way to protect yourself if your medical problems are overwhelming you.

I almost forgot to say that the assistance and tools I received for work have made a lot of difference. At least I don't feel like a truck hit me when I go home. My chair has made a big change in how I feel when I get here and that is helping me come in most days. I still take a day now and then just because I want it.

Lots of prayers, hugs and light being sent your way.

[kindredone in reply to No1wthayla]

I need to find a way to have the extra time off...a way to sit down. I'm a full time pharmacy technician... I basically run all day and cry all night

[Agora1 in reply to No1wthayla]

Sending "gentle hugs" your way :)xx

[c-mac in reply to No1wthayla]

At my last two jobs I would have killed to have a door!

[No1wthayla in reply to c-mac]

I turned down a higher salary somewhere else because my office here had a door and a window. And it was also twice the size.

[kindredone]

Over the years my pain has gotten worse. My fibro doc wont give me anything more for pain. (I'm not on hydrocodone or nothing) and my mental drugs from my physiatrist interfere with the fibro drugs.

[No1wthayla in reply to kindredone]

I've had diagnosed fibromyalgia since I was 30ish. I'm 48 now. And I think I had similar issues for at least 3 years prior to that. The pain does get worse but I try my best to push through. I generally grit my teeth and dig in when I have to do something only I can do. I hate asking for help but it's great that my daughter (26) who lives with me has started helping more. I'm afraid she has fibro as well.

For fibro pain I take Tramadol (pain), Tizanidine (muscle relaxant), Lyrica (for pain and neuropathy in my feet from diabetes), Nortriptyline (pain as well and also has helped my blood pressure) and Meloxicam (also for pain). Meloxicam is similar to Aleve, Naproxen and Ibuprofen so I can't take any of those. I do use Tylenol for break through pain.

A great cocktail of meds but it took years for my doctors to get me where I am. And when I got a new Purple mattress, that REALLY helped. Helps with preventing pressure points at night. I sleep a lot better but there are days when I decide between showering or going to work. Taking a shower wears me out and then I don't want to work.

[kindredone]

We get 5 call ins then by call in 9 you're fired

[No1wthayla in reply to kindredone]

Where do you live?

[kindredone in reply to No1wthayla]

Lubbock TX