Toxic Mother and Low Self Esteem…

[HerStoryUntold]

my family is toxic. Especially my mother. She likes to suck the living joy out of me. She sees I am busy and working in my future career goals and I clearly don’t have enough time for myself. I am emotionally exhausted as it is. And she takes EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY to bring me down with her miserable life. I hate it. I hate her. And then she claims she “loves” me and that she just wants the best. That’s all BS. She sees me being free and out of her control. So she makes me feel bad and has favorite children (my sister and brother) to single me out and make me feel bad for chasing my dreams and getting out of that terrible dog cage. She’s physically abusive when she can be but mostly verbally abusive.

[fauxartist]

Compartmentalize her as much as you can if your living with her, I have a strict no contact order in place with my family for not talking to my mother.... she always threw ice water on my happiness or progress, and always was verbally abusive.

This is called emotional abandonment.... if you have a therapist...I'd talk to them about it. If not....start reading about it and realize how this is not your fault, you didn't deserve this, this is on her.... parents should be proud of their kids, nurture them, and show unconditional love for them.... when they don't....it damages us from kids into adult life....your not alone.

[Elizabeth830]

Your mother sounds like mine. I can have the best day of my life and want to share it with her and within seconds she can suck any joy I have out of me. She second guesses good decisions I make for myself, encourages me to be unrealistically perfect, incourages me to stay in unhealthy relationships bc if I leave my husband, what will people think? Yesterday she called me, had me on the phone for 1.5 hours which was 1.25 hours too long. Then she wants to FaceTime with me and show me a plant in her yard. I was like I’m driving. Then she texts the picture. I don’t answer. Then later that night she texts me what did you think of my plant? I said it was nice. Then I said you are being a pain today. Then she says tell me you love me. I say love you. Then she says love you more. Then I say ugh.

My brother invited me out to dinner the other night with his family but not my husband because I am seriously thinking of leaving my husband. My brother has never really liked the way my husband treats me. Anyway my mother acted like this was a bad thing. I was thrilled to be included with my brother and his family. But instead of her being happy for me spending time with her son, she was more focused on my husband. That’s just wrong.

I also have a new friend that I know she will not approve of. They don’t meet her income and prestige requirements.

You said your mom has a miserable life. My might, she complains about my father all the time. But the image she portrays to everyone is how wonderful her life is and it is so annoying and fake. Ugh just typing all this is getting me angry. I have to stop.

[Elizabeth830]

Same…my brother was allowed to go anywhere and do anything.

[Elizabeth830]

Amazing…I am 50 and my mother still drives my boat and talks to me like I am 10.

[Rosepetal60]

Yes, I know and sympathise with you. So unfair to treat one child one way and another child differently. Been there.

[Rosepetal60]

How true. But they can’t see it and always think they are right and we are left with our memories.