I haven’t posted since a year ago but I figured I would post on here since I’m really not sure what to do. I have bad anxiety with new places I’ve never been to cause I don’t have a safe space or a plan B. My boyfriend is going to Portland on Monday morning and really wants me to go. We’re from west coast California so it’ll be like a 12 hour drive. I noticed specifically this month that I have really bad separation anxiety from my parents because I’ve always done everything with them. Since it’ll be just me and my boyfriend going for a week, I feel really anxious that I’ll ruin the trip for him because I’m in an unknown area with no safety areas and have extreme anxiety. He wants me to tell him if I can go or not by 5pm today, and I’m split between going or not. Going to Oregon would give me that chance to experience something new and see beautiful things with my partner, but I fear that my anxiety will dictate what I do and will ruin the trip for him. Help please?
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Gcapricorn
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It's hard to give advice on this one not knowing how bad your anxiety is. If you think you may get there and have anxiety and panic through the whole trip it's probably not a good idea.
A part of me wants to tell you to go. Idk how old you are but having separation anxiety from your parents it's something you need to work on. At some point you do have to make the move towards independence.
I feel like during the day I’ll be fine, but at night is when I’ll be freaking out. I’m 22 but barely this year I started becoming more independent since I’m at uni. I think what scares me the most is that it’s a 12hr drive and I know I won’t have my parents to help me
I understand. I'm going to Europe next week and I'm so scared. I want to go, but I'm very nervous. I've got antianxiety meds to take with me so hopefully that will help me remain stable. I do hope you are able to go on your trip. Perhaps you can call your parents if you feel overwhelmed and anxious? Is your boyfriend is understanding and supportive? Maybe you can try going part of the way to Oregon and see how you feel? If you can make it half way there and then maybe you can go the rest of the way?
I got medication so I might take those if needed. I Can call my parents too. I don’t want to ruin the trip for him if he does have to end up taking care of me bc of my anxiety
Did you end up going on your trip? I'm leaving on my trip tomorrow and I'm so scared! I'm going to just do it and hope for the best. Just wondering how you made out?
hi!! My trip doesn’t start till Monday morning but I did tell my partner I would go with him, still feeling the anxiety but I’m trying to think of the positives let me know how your trip goes!!
Good luck! I hope you have fun and I hope you leave your anxiety behind or can at least make it shut up and behave. I'm taking my meds and and I've got my therapist's number if I start to freak out. I really don't want my anxiety to ruin this trip!
I hear you Gcapricorn.. when struggling with Anxiety, going somewhere new can
make us fear the "what ifs"... This leads to Anticipational Anxiety and you stay stuck.
I agree that this is not an easy decision however, I know once you get there you will
enjoy the new exciting venture. You will come home with new memories which you
need right now in order to break that cycle at home.
Help is available anywhere. The problem is not in finding a safety place around you
but finding a safe place within your mind. Using breathing and meditation on your
trip can be an immense tool in calming your nervous system.
Whatever decision you make, I'll be behind you because I understand and I care. xx
GCapricorn, I may have missed your deadline for decision to bf, but imo you should go. I’ve suffered from panic attacks for 30 yrs. They began at age 18 for me. I have made the very trip you are considering several times as I’m on west coast as well. It’s a beautiful drive that you will always remember. Your bf will be there to support you should you become anxious and you can always phone home to say hi. I found that stepping out of my comfort zone and doing things that seemed to difficult, often led to the most happiness, growth and a fighting chance to ward off the anxiety. I say go and grow 😀
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let me know how your trip goes!!
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