Another Stressful Time

[skeetersfly]

I am in this same old situation again.  My wife has been giving me the silent treatment for the last 3 days.  She has slept in the guest bedroom for the last 3 nights, as well.  The reason for this, as far as I can tell, is that I disagreed with her that the government and corporations are intentionally, and using their best efforts to harm and hopefully end the lives of the citizens of the U.S.

We were having a good Tuesday afternoon, and when I arrived home after work we had a really nice talk for a couple of hours.  Towards the end, she leaned into her knowledge of exactly how the government is actively harming its citizens and residents of this country.  In the nicest tone, possible, I said we should probably agree to disagree on this subject.

Soon after I spoke those words she very firmly said that "our child will never be vaccinated".  For a little background, we do not have a child, yet.  We've been talking about adopting one for a while, but during times like this she lets me know that's not going to happen.

This is, in no way, the first time an event like this has happened.  It gets to this level about once every couple of months.  The cycle goes something like:  (1) Lots of hugs, chatting, words, and feelings of love coming from her.  During this time we seem to connect well and we both feel comfortable. This usually lasts from one to two weeks  (2) A period of decline.  She seems more annoyed by me. Her words are shorter, but life usually carries on fairly close to normal.  This may last from 3 to 5 weeks. (3) Things may get better, for a short time, and we may talk more openly.  Always... I say something that she doesn't agree with.  This prompts some kind of meltdown from her, which always includes her deep, deep crying, yelling, slamming doors, then the silent treatment, and her sleeping in the guest room for 3-5 nights.  She has also hit me, knocked pictures off the walls, or repeatedly come into the master bedroom (where I retreat to) and yelled at me before her retreat and silent treatment.  (Repeat...)

We have been together for about 3 years and were married last year.  I'm in my late 40's and she just entered her 30's.

According to her accounts, these kinds of issues have happened for most of her life.  Signs of this showed up early in our relationship.

My story is of surviving a small rural school experience, where the children and parents made it extremely clear that I was not welcome.  Let's just say that no holds were barred in their everyday attempt to have me removed, make me leave, or just end myself.  I survived, but the mental and physical scars remain.

I'm not sure if I'm reaching out for help, or just wondering if other people have similar experiences.

[Starrlight]

I just want you to know I hear you. I don’t really know what else to say.

[Starrlight]

I was thinking and I do have something to say. I feel like your wife needs to have an awakening somehow to your unfair treatment. Everyone has the right to disagree and it doesn’t call for her behavior. It’s abuse.

[Bowiebird]

First of all I agree with your wife about the government in the USA but that is not your issue. Our daughter had all kinds of symptoms, migraines, depression, terrible menstrual periods but periodic anger issues that were not her usual behavior. It took many years and a lot of suffering until she had surgery for massive fibroids and they discovered endometriosis which can cause" hormonal hurricanes". They found the fibroids via a vaginal ultrasound, but endometriosis can only be found via surgery.

It is so sad that people are going crazy, breaking up families and friendship over politics. Fortunately my husband, my daughter and I are on the same page but at one time I disagreed- so I did a lot of reading and changed my mins. Most people rely on emotions rather than facts. , It might help for both of you to do some research and come up with facts instead of contributing to what is a highly emotional climate, both in the country and in your bedroom. We are powerless anyway to change the political climate so why ruin your relationship.

It took me 10 years of being an infertility experiment and five of those years to succeed in adoption. You really have to be emotionally stable and have a healthy relationship because the adoption process is emotionally very stressful.