There is nothing left

[Myheartisblack]

I feel I've reached the end of my rope. I really do not have an ounce left within me to keep going. Not even love. There is no point to life without love.

[Agora1]

Welcome to a caring and supportive site new friend.

It sounds like there is an emotionally disturbing story behind

your frame of mind and thoughts.

When you are ready, please reach out to us and let us know how

we may help you. What is it in your life that has made you think

there is no point in going on.

Love starts within you. Once you love yourself, no one can ever

hurt you again. There will be a reason to face each new day and

that is "You"... Let us help you rethink your thoughts right now.

Sometimes, sharing our journeys with others who care, can truly

help. I'm glad you are here with us. xx

[Myheartisblack in reply to Agora1]

I thought I had love for myself but even if I do, I don't feel like I can survive this cruel world. My heart is completely broken. I just realized that that's what I'm feeling. Heartbroken for myself, for humanity, for the Earth...my heart is too sensitive for this existence. I don't have any love left

[CAGgmb]

Despite the song, love is not all you need. There's nature, helping others, doing something creative. Find what you love. Keep fighting. You deserve it.

[Myheartisblack in reply to CAGgmb]

Thank you very much. I agree. I guess I have to find a way to just keep going, even if I don't have love for myself anymore.

[CAGgmb in reply to Myheartisblack]

Keep going and you may be able to love yourself. The future is open. Just get through the now.

[Myheartisblack in reply to CAGgmb]

You're right... Thank you

[downinthecrud]

I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way, and I understand. It’s our brain giving us the false messages. We aren’t thinking right. Try and access that small part of you that can see the wrong thinking. Our illness lies to us and in such a vulnerable state, we believe it.

[Myheartisblack in reply to downinthecrud]

Thank you for your response. I believe you're right. I'm very tired of living inside my mind, it's exhausting and so belittling. If there is any future worth living for, it has to be from soul, where we may connect to our purity, before trauma and corruption took hold of our lives here.

[Sawdust23]

hi. I’m glad you’re here sharing with us. You are special and you matter to us, to me. I hope you’re feeling a bit better as you receive the support from this group of amazing friends. Feeling hopeless is no fun. It’s terrible. I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. As so many in the forum have told me, this will pass. Look to a brighter day if you can. This hopeless feeling is time bound, even if you can’t see that today. In any case, we’re here with you.

[Myheartisblack in reply to Sawdust23]

Thank you so much. It helps a lot to know that there are people out there who care and understand and are willing to respond to an energy within that feels completely unlovable... but I'm starting to feel the company and solidarity here. Thank you for supporting me and being here. I will do my best to keep some faith.

[Myheartisblack]

...thank you...I will keep trying to be better

[Myheartisblack]

Thank you so much

[LilyAnnepuppy]

I’ve heard it said there are two ways to go if I’m at the end of my rope. The first is to let go and let the universal spirit handle my pain. And the other option is to tie a knot at the end of the rope and fight to hold on for dear life.

Keep the faith.

[Myheartisblack in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

That feels like an accurate depiction. When written like that, the answer seems so obvious...to let go. But part of me knows that pain has to be felt / addressed / expressed so that it doesn't get trapped in the body and cause sabotage later on. I want to release my pain in a way where I am actually free...I dont want to be attached to my pain anymore. I guess it's becoming clearer why it's important it is to actively heal every day and to practice greater dedication to spirit. I wish it didn't require so much energy but I guess it just feels that way because I don't have energy or resources to really do anything anymore. Whenever it gets really bad like this it feels like I have to start all over again. But I guess the beauty is that I have gained more wisdom and courage. I hope I will be able to be strong. Thank you for passing along your message to me, it resonates.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Myheartisblack]

I’m so glad to help. I understand the fight for sanity and spiritual peace. It’s something I try and practice a day at a time. That’s all I can handle. I get my strength moment to moment. And never in advance.

Peace to you.

[Myheartisblack in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

I hear that. It's so very hard to focus on one day at a time because I have so much anxiety and I shoot back and forth between paralysis and impulsive action. I get whiplash and suffer a great deal of shame and feelings of staying stuck in a loop. It seems like I have to just stop thinking altogether sometimes, or at least I wish I could anyway. But then I guilt myself for not having a "plan". It's like it never works out no matter what I do. My only saving grace at this point is knowing that even though I've suffered my whole life, I haven't given myself full permission and attention to heal until very recently; and in the midst of actually doing that, there is a great clearing of so much from my past that I'm putting in a grave once and for all...which is a relatively new concept/process for me. I will heed your method and be more diligent with my practices every day. I feel like I'm letting go of the need for control slowly...I've just never fully done that before so it's really scary whilst dealing with releasing old trauma. What you said about strength... do you feel like you often have to push yourself or do you go with the flow of energy? I feel like these days it's so hard to honor our needs and our limitations because of how our society operates. I've recently accepted that I can't have really any expectations about life anymore because of the fact that I'm not willing to do certain things I used to. I had started telling myself that as long as I have my integrity that things will work out however they need to...but then I guess I fell back into the trap of trying to control and feeling like it wasn't worth it or even possible to keep going.

Thank you for lending me your intentions and experience.

[LilyAnnepuppy in reply to Myheartisblack]

Sometimes I have to push myself and at other times I can go with the flow. It depends on my ability. I try to keep up hope that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be at any given moment. Because I work so hard for my sanity.

Control and expectations are poison for me.

[CatEyez in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

When you’re at the end of your rope, ways to deal: the first is to let go, the second is to tie a knot and hang on…the third is to climb up the rope. 😉

You may be feeling black and empty and heartbroken, but time mitigates much of those feelings. Wait until you’re strong enough, then climb back up that darn rope, take back what is yours.

Tomorrow is not for despair. Breathe and allow yourself to feel these feelings, but know they are NOT the last word in your life! *hugs*

[Myheartisblack in reply to CatEyez]

Thank you for that, and for those hugs. I'll be doing what I can to allow strength to return...