New and wanting some help/advice. Long post fyi🫠

[HangingByaThread86]

Hello to whoever reads this post. As the title says, im new and looking for advice. I sturggle with anxiety and depression, have for most of my life. Right now I am really struggling with being happy for my friend and roommate. I know it is not right, but I cant help feeling jealous whenever something good happens to him; i dont have this issue with any of my other few friends. We have a long and complicated history together that i dont feel like sharing at this time. I care about him a lot, but I just cant seem to be happy when he is. A big part of it for me is that he is usually very negative about life, yet he gets most of the good things from it(loving parents, good friends, ect) I grew up very opposite of that and felt like once i finally get away from my abusive mom, life would be better. In some ways it has, but a lot of ways it hasn't. I guess im jealous and confused as to why things get handed to him when all he does is take it for granted. I would love to have the family he has and the friends who give him gifts and pay for trips. Arent I of worthy of feeling like someone gives a damn about me? I actually care about our friends and his family. Im the one that picks out gifts for them while he just slaps his name on it too and take half the credit. He isnt the type to give credit where credit is due. When do I get the benefits of being a caring friend? I love and care hard for those close to me. So why isnt it enough? If youve read all this...thanks!

[Stressbal]

Well sounds like most men i have dated! Not all men are like that, but i think a lot are/ majority. Im sure its just a result of his loving parents doing everything for him. I am like you, i notice all the things people do and dont do. You deserve all the love in the world, sometimes you just have to create it yourself.